Time Wars

Time Wars

Today, I go to work again.
Smart suit, polished shoes, bright tie, white shirt
All is set, just breakfast left.
This time, as oftentimes,
I war with my great foe Time;
Mighty bites of unsliced bread
Break fast, sinking down
With rushing falls of hot tea
To slow down the Three Keepers of Time.

My bag in hand, I run to the door.
A finger’s touch away from the knob
And there rumbles a troubling flow
Of slime matter in the coiled tunnels below;
The Keepers are watching
The long red one is smiling
Ticking away in its glass world
Hanging on the cream wall.
They know Time wins the war
If we advance for Toilet Battles.

The anus is an infamous idiot
That lays waste to a man’s pride
Should the mind think of fecal matters
In the heat of a time war.

My mind must keep at bay
Any thoughts of shit business
For the coming tens of minutes
If I must be at work by eight.

****

Many anxious waiting feet
At Glo’s metal charity shelter.
Many buses rushing past,
All seats kissing impatient buttocks
That struck an early romance.

Can I kick with these itching commuters
When a bus with lonely seats stops?
Can I keep the slimy rebels
From sliding shame to my world?
I drive my mind to Lade
And our date two days away
A pleasant thought as this in motion
Might suppress the chemical weapons
Preparing to shoot out and wreak havoc.

Time is winning.

A loud whizzing gas
Serves around to unwary noses
Of men and women, boys and girls
In no mood for odoriferous displeasure.
Many eyes become fine brushes
Painting the ignominy of my sin
In fantastic strokes on my face.

****

Miracles are real
Even though shit still happens.
Seated in a wretched bus
Five minutes ahead of time,
My sweating buttocks lock
In a painful kiss with the creaking seat.
My laps do some break dance
Subliming to bad gas
The angry solids taking formation
In the hollows of my rectum.

My bitter enemy is Time
But they say keep your enemies closer
Than friends, whoever they be.
A nervous look at Three Keepers Mini
Tightly banded to my wrist,
As I open the boardroom door,
Show that Time has lost the war.

“Good morning ladies and gentlemen
Glad you could all make it in time”.



34 thoughts on “Time Wars” by chemokopi (@chemokopi)

  1. Hehehehehe!…Nice!…So you battle with time, and anasthesize unwary passengers with your gas huh? All in a bid to beat time…Cool…Everyone fights against time and farts too!…Well done…$ß.

    1. @sibbylwhyte: Thanks Bubbllinna. Your words make me smile. *winking*

    1. @kaycee: you wey know! Thanks.

  2. Shit no dey ever understand. My guy you sabi am too much>

    1. @sontel: you wey know! I thank you plenty Anzaa. And you ma you sabi, as I take know for your poem too.

  3. lool ! Good one :) . Should have been battle against time AND stomach.. :P

    1. @aghoghosam: Hehehe…like The Chronicles of Time and Stomach Wars…hehehe. You yew know? Thanks for commenting man.

    2. @aghoghosam: Hehehe…like The Chronicles of Time and Stomach Wars…hehehe. You wey know? Thanks for commenting man.

  4. Lol! Those two; man’s worst enemy. Sometimes their collabo dey bad… Good work Chemo…

    1. @francis, you are too kind. And yes O, those two? bad guys!

  5. Save one other poem, I think this is the best poem submitted so far for this contest. Congrats.

    1. Wow, @ohmston, such kind words! Really appreciate your words, especially because they come from a competitor.

    1. @magic: Na me? Amen! Thanks for commenting man.

  6. What can I say? You’re simply good at this, really good!

    1. Thanks @shadiat. You are too kind with words.

  7. Every corporate exec/worker/student can truly relate. KIYA! ;-)

    1. Thanks @nicolebassey: I am glad you think so. And yes! I will Keep Improving My Art!

  8. Good narration, the topic you chose is soooooo everyday…

  9. Well done, bros. Best of luck.

    1. @mikeekunno: Thanks Mike, I appreciate your kind words.

  10. I am just seeing this and I think it deserves the win. very beautiful. An everyday affair cozily captured. No awkward breaks, just the gentle flow. Well done… and yes, may your ink remain fluid.

    1. @mildredhughes: Hmmmm…all these beautiful words just for me and my poem? Ah, you are too kind!

  11. I see why this entry won the contest.simply realistic,natural and indeed a daily experience of every Nigerian in d canny war against time.

    1. @sambrightomo: Thanks a lot. You are too kind.

  12. A loud whizzing gas
    Serves around to unwary noses
    Of men and women, boys and girls
    In no mood for odoriferous displeasure.
    Many eyes become fine brushes
    Painting the ignominy of my sin
    In fantastic strokes on my face.

    ****
    hhhhhm. you speak the minds of many, two hands up Arc…………and that inspires me

  13. @hieroglyphics: Thanks a lot. I really appreciate your kind words.

  14. Oops… Congrats Okopi. You did it again. You know am proud of you ba? Awesome piece.

    1. @phronesis: My Oga, I remain loyal, thanks. You are far too kind!

  15. This work is not labelled with the usual big words we all know the poet with. this is … simpler…funnier…more better.

    1. @louis, I use big words? wow, never knew. I would have to check myself. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  16. @chemokopi
    your mama born you with pen for hand/?
    intriguing…………

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