April Fools Day

April Fools Day

About : Wife has to deal with the inevitable in a cruel way.

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It was as if she had tears trickling down her tongue, she replayed it in her mind ,over and over again, frame by frame but this proved to be one hell of a jig saw puzzle, she tried to put the pieces together, make sense out of it but no part seem to fit.

“It was right here! …yes! … Right here!   I was sitting on the sofa when I heard someone knock”

She gave out a loud sigh ‘’Psshz‘’ letting her frustration escape with a wheezing sound like COsipping out of an uncorked coke bottle.

‘’Am I going mad’’, she retorted.

‘’April calm down, calm down…” a voice echoed in the background.

Today is 1st of April and fate played a cruel prank on April.

‘’Didn’t you notice anything unusual?’’, a neighbor had asked.

‘’No! … No! Nothing abnormal’’ she sniffles. “He was his usual self, true to type like a book on a shelf”

She then got on her feet looked in the direction of the front door, and then retraced her glance back to the living room; to the sofa, her neck turning steadily like a Toshiba standing fan rotating at minimum speed. Her audience gauged her theatrics, maybe a little befuddled, they watch  with their heads  supported  by the face of their palm, then suddenly like an over bloated balloon , she busted into tears; rolling on the ground, she was being pressed down by her aunt,  “Please, tell me am not going mad’’ it all climaxed in a  whimper.

Her hands were now being clasped on her head, her eyes had now become swollen, swollen with tears, then as if been triggered, she let her hands drop to her laps like the bow of a snap rat trap, with a cry of ‘’yay!’’, this sent a rattling ripple to the heart of her sympathizers, leaving each of them gnashing their teeth.

Then out of the blues she remembered something, “Yes! … He wasn’t supposed to knock ‘’ she repeated herself twice dragging it at first, and then picking up the pace

at the second attempt.

“He usually went out with his keys, so I was surprised to hear him knock, I had asked why he was home, and he did say work closed early and he wanted  to make up for the lost time” , It was as if each word tasted bitter as she churned them out.

“And …?” this came from an impatient listener suffering from acute case phantasmagoria.

“He said he would in a long time, I thought he was joking, the last I heard was the bathroom door closing.  I even teased him to turn to a whale not a fingerling so as not to get washed down the septic tank’’.

The time is 18:40 GMT, at exactly12:12 GMT Dewale, April’s husband had returned home from work, forty minutes later she heard another knock, this time it was two forlorn looking men from the emergency rescue agency, they were with her husband’s ID card. He had been involved in an auto accident; he died before he could be rescued.

“Madam you have to follow us to the morgue to identify his body’’, one of men had said.

“There must have been a mix up somewhere, my husband is at home. He came in a few minutes ago, what I don’t understand is how you got his ID card”, she was confused but not yet devastated, there has to be an explanation to all of this and the sphinx who will solve this riddle is no other person than her husband Dewale. So she called out to him, ‘’Dewale! … You need to hear this’’. There was no reply, she called out again ‘’honey, is everything alright”.  Still no response, the first reaction of the bereaved to grief is denial, so from the view point of her acquaintance, it was all still a normal display. Not until she ran towards the bathroom, they tried to hold her back, but she broke free from their grasp, threw the door ajar and alas, he was gone not a drop of water on the floor.

 

 

 

 



13 thoughts on “April Fools Day” by Admin (@jeebs)

  1. Too many comparisons. And they seem forced too.

    “… frustration escape with a wheezing sound like CO2 sipping out of an uncorked coke bottle.”
    “He was his usual self, true to type like a book on a shelf”
    “like a Toshiba standing fan rotating at minimum speed.”
    ” suddenly like an over bloated balloon , she busted into tears”

    Too much, walahi.
    Well done.

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting…I didn’t really feel they were too much, until now that you mentioned it.

  2. The simile helps a little but I feel the story is a bit disjointed and then the present tense and past tense mix did not ‘gel’. Keep writing, the best is nigh.

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting!…Observations noted.

  3. I like the description of the woman’s reaction and the way it ended.

    1. Thank you for reading and commenting!

  4. The tenses were confused, I wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not. Also, go easy on the similes, sometimes they come in and dislocate the story. Also use similes the characters you’re trying to build would think of, and not try to show off your own (the writer’s) vocabulary. For instance gas would have been better than CO2 on that sentence.

    1. Thank you Myne, All the observations are duly noted, I perform my works(live on stage), the reason for the heavy use of similes, the tense mix was intentional, the narrator of the story is a ghost, talking to a life audience.

  5. All observed observations…it was an okay story.

    Work on the above corrections and it will go from ‘okay’ to ‘good’.

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting.!

  6. hmmm, creepy. Reminds me of my mom’s fable that my dead father’s ghost haunted the house. Couldn’t sleep well for days…

    1. Thanks for dropping by!…Sorry for the loss…

  7. While this was meant to be a ghost story that should be replete with supernatural suspense, you have not done justice to it. Maybe you need to re-write it again and differently.

    I was confused throughout the whole story until the last two paragraphs towards the end which seemed to explain what all the fuss was about. Your similes were forced and the comparisms were somewhat extreme and unnecessary. Also I think you need to work out some more of description to build your suspense and get readers to comprehend the story you’re telling.

    I must confess that I love the title – very creative, smart and apt for a ghost story.

    Good try. All I will say is keep writing and reading throuogh your stuff, you can only get better…and you’ve got the potential. Also try not to get carried away by extreme referencing.

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