She Is Staring At Me!!!

She Is Staring At Me!!!

The wind blew gently reflecting its speed in the banana leaves it gently blew…  Kunle was there sitted on a chair, amidst the banana tree. His chair was a rocking one. He had being undergoing endless cycles of rocking ever since he started thinking…

 

Just yesterday, his parent called him in a round table discussion;  Kunle, Kunle, Kunle, his mother called gently. “Don’t let age deceive you o. You are thirty eight years old. Your mates are nursing their third child while you are still yet to have a fiancée let alone a wife. Age is not on my side neither. I want to carry my grand-children…

His father now coughed, he pushed the table forward a bit, coughed once more, this time deliberately. He said; your mother has said it all….We want to see our grand-children. The last time we talked about this, you promised to look into it. You kicked against the ideal of  we finding a wife for you, but sooner if you don’t find your missing rib, you will have no choice…No choice….No choice…..But to succumb to our will….

 

The voice echoed in Kunle’s ears, he closed his eyes and looked downwards. The rocking speed was now slow. His friend Dotun has gone to prepare some drinks for the him. Kunle opened his eyes slowly, but he was still looking downwards. His father’s words echoed to his hearing  “IF YOU DON’T FIND YOUR RHYTHM, YOU WILL HAVE NO CHOICE, NO CHOICE, NO CHOICE, BUT TO SUCCUMB TO OUR WILL”…  He thought of his extreme shyness that has greatly hindered him to successfully woo a lady. He imagined the lady his parent would bring to him…He hit himself hard for his shyness deficiency. He didn’t want his parents present a wife for him. He swore to himself that he would overcome it. He day dreamed on how it would look like overcoming his fears … but “Dreams will always be dreams until you wake up to actualize them”…

Slowly he raised his head up slowly looking forward. He opened his mouth ajar. God just answered his prayers! Let’s hear directly from horse mouth…

There she stood staring at me, whole eyed, without blinking an eye. I can read from her staring eyes letters juxtaposing together forming a three word sentence “I WANT YOU”. My heart jumped for joy. I can feel it all over my body. My tissues were receiving oxygen from the arteries that supplied them now than ever. I could feel my hair standing still, my glands are not left out, they are secreting at full capacity…

She hasn’t changed  from her posture yet. I automatically understood her body language and knew what her present posture was saying; it says “COME TO ME”. Her smile hung on like a desperate titanic survivor hanging still to a stray plank. Her eyelids too, they stood still reading the same words “I WANT YOU”. I made my move, but she didn’t. My body cells were extra happy and they did their entire job efficiently. I almost stopped exhaling; my body was utilizing all the air I inhaled.

They say opportunity comes but once. This was surely my own opportunity and I am taking my chance.

As I moved slowly towards her, I felt the earth collapse underneath me, but I could still walk conveniently like an astronaut performing a spacewalk. When I moved closer, my body reaction doubled, and it seem her smile increased. I saw her blink an eye, or was it me? Her hair poured down and rested on her shoulders, they resembled the clines and anticlines formed by the chains of mountains called ALPS. Her face was spotless like the warhead of a space bound NASA space shuttle. Her eyes, nose, and mouth held perfect congruence like “Siamese twin” they were perfectly made for each other.

Her physique made my voice box bubbled to life. My larynx expanded, my vocal cords made rhythmic movements, my tongue rested on my lower teeth and slowly I unconsciously let out gaseous excretion followed by my “Hello” it was the coolest hello I have ever said, but it sounded like a whisper  so I repeated it again. She didn’t seem to hear but she continued staring at me. Her eyes got brighter and her hands now placed akimbo, her right leg positioned forward and the “left” a little behind her back. Her body faced northwest while her face was directly towards ME… I became puzzled and disturbed as I touched her because she didn’t move. I clung and touched her more. She still didn’t move neither did she stop staring at me.

My ecstasy turned into trepidation. My brain couldn’t register what was happening…Hallucinations? My eyes rolled, legs wobbled, finger struck. My body felt heavy like an Apollo spacecraft falling back to the earth surface. I wasn’t myself. The oxygen supply to my brain stopped. I tried to move forward, but I fell. All I saw afterwards was blank…

I woke up and found myself on a hospital bed. Beside me was my friend Dotun; he told me my parents would be joining us anytime from soon. I asked him to narrate to me what happened.  Just like me he said he doesn’t know. All he could tell of was that he saw me beating my hands against a life-sized picture of a “POPULAR MODEL” he had glued to the wall, when he came nearer, I had passed out; he said.

Such is life sometimes things just happens and you can’t EXPLAIN!…Such was mine!!!



13 thoughts on “She Is Staring At Me!!!” by Kay Ade Greins (@kodeya)

  1. Hahahaha, dis guy u funny o.
    Fascinating ending. Watch ur tenses though. Nice.

  2. Interesting story, @kodeya. I liked the idea of the story, and I was curious to see how the MC would overcome his shyness, but I didn’t find it realistic that he wouldn’t have recognised that a model that had been glue to a wall was not a real person.

    Also, the POV switch was confusing.

    Keep writing.

  3. Last paragraph was the only thing that did it for me in this story.
    Learn about tenses when you can. Well done…

  4. What a thing to have happened to a young man.

    Check the first paragraph: you should have used been instead of being.

    Good work my bro.

  5. This sure could have been better…
    Tenses, yes and some restructuring. Would take another look and give a more candid thought.
    Well done on this piece…it sure gets better. Cheers!

  6. Interesting tale. I think you were working on some experimental style…either that or you are pulling an Amos Tutuola trick!
    ;) I enjoyed the general thrust of the tale but think that your construction has not helped its rendering…
    Now, look at the tenses. Pick a sentence you want to work with: If it is complete past tense e.g ‘He went…’ ‘He thought…’ Stick to it. If it is present continuous, ‘He goes…’ stick to it. Your work has to speak well of you.
    There’s a story here but you have to work it out. Best wishes,,,

    1. Thanks so much for the corrections you pointed out. Am so much grateful for them. I would try and ensure mistake of such cease to appear next time( unfortunately I have about three other stories already scheduled for publishing). But trust me, I would get better soonest.

  7. Interesting. Needs thorough editing. Much flaws, as stated already.

  8. LOL…things you cannot explain indeed.

    Anyways every other person has said what should be one, so all the best!

    1. sorry meant “what should be done”

  9. funny story…lol

  10. You got great minds over this already. Stick to the words.
    Well done.

Leave a Reply