To a Brother, with Love

To a Brother, with Love

Dearest Mikki,

I still remember the day you came. The doorbell rang – two short rings and a longer one, I rushed down the stairs with a ready hug for daddy. I flung myself at him and he lifted me up and planted a kiss on my lips before putting me down. It was then I noticed you leaning against the wall, a brown suitcase beside you and a dour look on your face, as you tried unsuccessfully, to become one with the unflattering brown paint.

’Who is he, Daddy?’ I asked as you peeled yourself off the wall. Dad led me into the house and beckoned you follow. He sat me down and told me that your mum had just died and that you were going to be living with us for a long time. I stormed into my bedroom, furious he had brought someone else into our circle. Mum died when I was two. Now you were the interloper – out to share Dad’s love with me. It was that clear cut to my sixteen year old mind.

So I decided to say no more than the necessary words and be mean to you. All so you would leave. But you didn’t talk to me either, or act like I existed. You went about with that ‘woebegone’ look on your face. Dad tried to get me to accept you. As a bribe, he even bought me the red dress I had admired some weeks earlier at a boutique. I got tired and decided to let you into the cocoon that had been mine and Dad’s. You became a wonderful addition to our family.

You joined my school after the Easter break and everyone said you were handsome. I proudly told them you were my brother.
We grew very close. I told you my girly secrets and you told me some of yours. I still remember some of them. Like the time when you went with Chuka and Bayo to a brothel. Of course you refused to enter the place – or so you said. There was the time you kissed Senior Hilda under the library’s staircase. I could hardly suppress my laugh whenever I saw her. She tried to be nice to me… If only she had an idea I knew why!

You protected me from bullies like Simon who was always pinching my buttocks. Do you remember the day you fought him because he slapped me? You bloodied his nose and let me kick his groin. How I laughed at his howls! He never touched me after that. That was the day I fell in love with you.

Other boys began to pale in comparison when placed next to you in my mind. I compared Phil, whom I hung out often with and found him wanting. His sixteen years to your seventeen made him a baby to me and I didn’t find him attractive anymore. Not after I mistakenly walked into the bathroom when you were bathing. You didn’t hear me because the shower was running, and you were singing ’Shake your tail feather’ and dancing with your back to the door. I stood mesmerized while I watched the soap suds run down your body. Then you turned, trying at the same time to rinse the soap out of your eyes. I saw ’you’ then. My eyes widened at the sight of you down there; long, black and shiny with a sprinkling of dark hair. It scared me a bit and I slipped out noiselessly. I stopped hanging out with Phil from that day.

Daddy wasn’t always home, because the position he held at the office, made him travel often. I was Mum and you were Dad.
We were close buddies till you told me that you wanted to ask Senior Adele to be your girlfriend. I coldly congratulated you and walked to my bedroom, banging the door behind me. I didn’t talk to you for the rest of the day.
When Akpan drove us to school the next day, we were unusually quiet that he had to ask if we were okay. I didn’t say a word to you in school either. During the break, I saw you laughing with Senior Adele. Her hand was on your shoulder. A wave of anger hit me and I walked past you and pretended not to hear when you called my name.
You came back home that day after football practice and told me that you didn’t ask her out again. My face lit up with a smile as I hugged your sweaty body. ‘You don’t like her abi?’ you asked, but I said nothing. Such a girl couldn’t be good enough for you. I was sure of that.

Then my birthday came. I had just turned sixteen. You said I was a little woman and teased me about breaking the hearts of men. I told you then that I wasn’t interested in boys or men. How could I be when you were there for me? Dad threw a birthday party, before heading out to Abuja for a meeting. Something you ate or drank made you sick laterin the evening, and you came to my room. I ran downstairs to call Aunty Bukky, the housekeeper and she got you some drugs. She told me to wipe you with a wet towel when your body got too hot. You slept for a long time and woke up to find me wiping your naked body with the towel. You grabbed the sheet and covered your waist. I laughed and told you that I was wiping your body for the fourth time. You murmured something about ’girls’ and I continued the ministrations. Soon your breath began to come out a little bit faster and I saw the goose pimples on your arms and felt your muscles contract. I asked if you were cold because your body was still hot and you told me to keep wiping. I did till my hand mistakenly brushed over something hard. I looked at you and pulled the sheet away, scared that you were worse. I saw it; long, black, shiny and turgid, nestled in a bush of pubic hair. Enthralled, I touched. I heard you gasp and pulled away, but you took my hand and placed it back.

’Do you know what this is?’ you asked, smiling.

’Yes na.’ I had replied. Mrs Okoro had taught us all about it in Biology class that week. What’s more, I had read about them in novels: ‘I’ve seen Phil’s too, only that your’s is bigger!’ You frowned, then smiled and closed your eyes. I played with your turgid penis, till it began to pulse. I watched in awe as it spurted a warm, sticky, creamy liquid as simultaenously as your body spasmed. Spent, it became limp. I wiped my hand with the towel and curled up next to you and we slept.

After that day, we began to see each other differently. I would catch you staring at me with a funny look in your eyes and I knew I had a twin of that stare whenever I saw you in your boxer shorts.

I would never forget that boring Saturday, when we wanted to watch a new movie. We went to Akpan and he showed us his collections. We picked Naked Weapon, and we ate biscuits and groundnuts while we sat to watch it because it seemed like an action movie. Ten minutes into the movie and we both knew that it wasn’t the sort of ‘action’ movie we had first thought it to be. We were supposed to turn it off and take it back but the images on the screen had us glued to our seats. My head was resting on your shoulders and when you touched me, I welcomed you. My heart beat grew erratic and then you kissed me, and I got lost in the sweetness of your lips. I could hear the moans from the people in the TV. Your touch made me hot and I trembled when you pulled my shorts down. You were the first boy to see me without my panties, I felt a bit shy but then it was you I loved, so I let you look. You put your fingers in between my legs and a sharp cry escaped my lips. You whispered to me:
’Tsssh, I won’t hurt you much’. I believed you because I knew you loved me as I did you. Soon your fingers were replaced by your penis. Pains seared through my body but I dug my nails into your back and bit my lips to keep from crying out. When you rolled off me five minutes later, smiled at me and called me your ’little love’, I knew we had become more than family. That was the beginning of our affair…

An affair that went on till you got into the university. There were times I would miss you and want your body pressed against mine but you were far away. Then I started going out with other boys. Of course, none was like you. They never saw beyond my outer clothes. You were my first and I loved you best.

Something happened a few weeks ago. Aunty Bukky caught me throwing up behind the potted plants in the garden, she called me and looked at me in a funny way and dropped a bombshell.

’You are pregnant Nnenna. Do you know that?’ she asked me and I just kept looking at her. My thoughts ran amok. How could she say I was pregnant? I vehemently refused to accept her word for it, till the indicator of the pregnancy test kit read positive thrice. We couldn’t tell how far gone I was till I went for a real test. I was two months pregnant. Aunty Bukky called daddy before we got home, because she was scared that I would do something foolish.

We got home and he was waiting. He had this disappointed look in his eyes and I just wanted to disappear. He sat me down and asked me who was responsible and I told him I couldn’t say.

’What do you mean? You have slept with lots of men that you don’t know the father?’ he asked pointing at my stomach with a murderous rage in his eyes. I’ve never seen daddy that angry before. And then the tears fell from my eyes as I told him of a party I had attended and got drugged only to wake up naked. Daddy cried with me, and wondered why I had chosen to keep quiet about it. I told him that I didn’t want him to learn of it and be disappointed in me. Then he promised me that everything would be alright.

I had planned to call you that very night but then the news came in: You had been killed by some cultists. My world crumbled.

Mikky, the rape story I sold to Dad was a lie. I didn’t sleep with anyone after the last time I came to your lodge. Surely you remember when. I came unannounced to your lodge and found a girl’s panties in the space between the wall and bed while cleaning up the room. You remember how I flew into a rage and the only way you could calm me enough to listen to you was with a kiss. Of course, it hadn’t ended with the kiss. Our clothes had come off in a hurry and we had the best rough-up sex in our history. In the heated frenzy, we forgot the condom and I had to take those pills thereafter. I took them as prescribed. Lord only knows why they didn’t work. I can’t ever tell Daddy this truth though. That’s why he has to see this baby as the result of a rape. You must know as I do that this baby is a product of love.

As at this moment, I’ve told my friends that I would be travelling to stay with an aunt in Kaduna. Dad had suggested an abortion. I bluntly refused. I won’t let them kill this baby of ours that is growing in me. So, Dad made preparations for me to stay in the village till the baby is born.
The love that I have for the little you in me, threatens to consume me. It even makes it bearable when I remember that I am still too young to be a single mother. And it brings some hope when I remember it’s the only thing I have left of you, asides my memories. Perhaps it’s the maternal genes already in action.

Talking about mothers: I came across some letters from Mfamer Akaayem. That was your mum’s name, wasn’t it? The letters ring of more than a casual relationship or exchange of thoughts. A silly thought crossed my mind when I read them; Could my daddy have been yours too?… It’s quite impossible because Dad would have told us if it was. I won’t ever ask him though. Some things are best left unknown. And of course God wouldn’t have let me love you this much if it were true. Would he?

It hurts so much each time I remember that you won’t ever smile at me while I watch the dimple play on your left cheek. It’s almost as if a drill is in a constant state of activity in my heart. I feel like I have lost everything and I know it’s just the baby and daddy that make me want to face yet another day. As I draw to the end of this, the ink of my heart flooding like the tears blurring my sight, I just want you to know that I would never love another like I loved you. You have that special place in this heart of mine and as I seal this letter, I seal my heart within. Keep it, guard it and love me in return, even if it’s from the other side.
I love you Mikky, I will always do.
Your little love.

***

Nnenna dropped the pen and folded the letter, pushed back the seat and walked into the bathroom. She filled the bath with water, laid down in it and closed her eyes. Fifteen minutes later she walked out of the bathroom. She walked to her closet and laid out her dress. She heard the sirens heralding the arrival of Mikky’s body. She pulled her hair into a bun and applied black eye-shadow and clear lip-gloss. She put on a black dress and stepped into her black high-heeled pumps. Today was a black day. She glanced at the mirror, picked up the letter and walked out of her room. He had given her something to hold on to here. The letter would be her last gift to him. If the dead could read, he would read it on the other side…

Name: Sibbyllinna Whyte.

Residence: Nigeria.

Bio: Student. Studying to be a pharmacist and aspiring to be a writer.



138 thoughts on “To a Brother, with Love” by Bubbllinna (@sibbylwhyte)

  1. wow Bubb, I knew you had a wickedness to you that is so so sweet.
    This is fabulous! You tell a mean tear jerker Bubbly….Now this si what am talking about!

    This is pure unadulterated bad ass love thang and Mikki and Nenna so work on every level.

    You know me, I just dig the tale, none of the editing /typo critique but you’ll get the low down as more comments come. The few are inconsequential but as we are told….take note.

    I love the innocence, the gradual awareness and the full bloom of love/ lust ( great lust) that follows.. I GOT MY EYE’S ON YOU GAL…..you are BRILLIANT!

    1. I still dey trip over this story gal….this truly Rocks! lol…okay I’m done ,promise.

      1. @dottaraphaels…

        Oh Dotta dearest!..You are my number one fan..of that I am sure..

        Forgive this wicked streak in me cos its the only way I could pull this off..

        U got your eyes on me?..Hmmm…beautiful eyes they be..

        Thanks a lot Dotta for loving my story…I appreciate… $ß.

  2. Bubbly you tell a beautiful tale. The delivery…excellent!

    1. @aturmercy..Wow! With those two sentences, you have made my head swell two times its original size…hehehe…Thanks a lot and bless your soul…$ß.

  3. ghen ghen! Sibbyllinna Whyte!

    I wish you had a computer to upload your stuff. some punctuations are off, not thanks to the phone you use. But truly, the story is good, very good. And yes, your head is there!

    1. Bankole Sijuade…Why wish I had one when U fit suprise me with the model wey apple still dey work on?..U can get me the not-yet- in- production model jare!..hehehe..
      Thanks…about the story, U sabi who we gatz thank for am na…Bless God…I appreciate B…

  4. This, using an understatement, is a great story. The best I’ve read in days.

    Wow, I’m really loving this.

    God bless you @sibbylwhyte. You’re an amazing writer.

    You, like the rest of us can get better. Don’t rest on your oars.

    1. Choi!! Burst my head jare! @lancaster
      The best you have read in days?..With these comment of yours, you have sent me on a ‘high’ of no return..
      God bless you my brother for your comments…..I appreciate wella…$ß.

  5. Impressive piece

    1. @shadiat…Thanks a lot…I am so humbled by the fact that you think it’s impressive…I appreciate..Bless God..$ß.

  6. Yeah I see a huge development here- even in a naughty angle too… I agree with DWE. The story was well articulated though. You have the flour, bake the bread…

    1. @ablyguy…I gatz to bake the bread o..infact call me Miss Baker sef..hehehe…
      The naughty angle is a ‘strange love’ yeah?..hmmm..
      Yea, it had itsy-bitsy problems that I would try and take care of..

      I appreciate your taking the time…Thanks a lot….$ß.

  7. This was written using a phone?!!!

    1. @shai..
      Yes o!…Every single thing I do on NS is via my phone..It’s a darling..really
      I am one of those people who become total klutz when seated in front of a PC…Hehehe…Ok not exactly like that. . . I hope you forgive the mistakes my phone and I made..
      Thanks for dropping by…

      And what say you about the story? I have answered your own question o.

      1. I write with my phone too and only transfer to my laptop when I want to post them. BUT NOTHING should excuse grammatical errors in a writer’s work….especially a brilliant writer. If your phone makes it difficult for you to write error-free as you compose your work, then take the extra time to review and edit the work. Befriend T9. Grammar is like the dress, perfume and make-up of a lady. Imagine the rest.

        1. @chemokopi…Thank you very much…Ur advice would be taken to heart…

  8. Amazing that a man can have a daughter totally unlike him.
    Daughter, where did you learn this from? The flow is right but the content – Amaka! Come and see your daughter! Choi!

    Hmm… Report soon as you see this.

    1. Hehehe..
      *singing*….I learnt it from my mama, you know I learnt it from her…Lol..

      Are you sure that your gene is not somehow responsible?… The content is good I hope…

      Thanks @sueddie…U know why…Blessings of Aondo on U Su’ghur….$ß.

  9. nice one girl

    1. @gg87…Thanks a lot Girl…I appreciate…$ß.

  10. lovely story, girl. i’m always one for tragic endings, don’t ask me why. this did it for me. you’re simply a lovely writer, dear.

    1. @moskeda

      You and me lady, You and me on that sad ending thingy…And I really don’t know the reason why too…Thanks for the nice comment..I appreciate…$ß.

  11. This lady here has got style!

    1. @johnnysnow…And you Mister, have got eyes!..Thanks a lot..I appreciate…$ß.

  12. at 16 isnt she a little too old to be recieving kisses from her father on the lips? i am asking from the perspective of a nigerian teenager. i rememeber growing up i had an uncle who used to hug and kiss us. when we got to 12 14 years old, the kissing stopped. still reading will post more comments when im done

  13. I like the letter and the openness of the writer. Sibbly you’re naughty. Very.

    Well done.

    1. @babyada..

      I am a naughty girl?..Hehe…A mother knows her offspring…hehehe…Thanks really I appreciate you coming by…$ß.

  14. wow! good story did you send it in for the touch of spice contest? cos you did not stick to the theme and hmmmm, incest eh? u baddie u!

    1. @phoenix…Then that my Love is one of those annoying things that happen to even the best of us….Sorry about that..In my head she was 15 when he came.
      But then even at 16, she is a dad’s girl and trust me when I say that kiss on the lips was very fatherly..

      And yes I sent it in for the contest,..I didn’t keep to the rules of the game?..Pray do tell, where did I misstep?…I would really love to know.

      Incest?…Is the story an incestuous one?..Even I don’t know if the relationship between Nnenna and Mikki was incest. You see, she didn’t want to find out..’Some things are better left unknown’..

      Thanks @phoenix for reading, observing and commenting. I really appreciate…$ß.

      1. oh i agree! dont ask dont tell…as per some things are better left unknown.
        and the rule said practice safe sex, no where in your story was there mention of using rubber…..

        1. @phoenix:

          ”..forgot the condom..”

          ”…pills thereafter..”

          There.

          1. pills thereafter isnt practicing safe sex . DUH!

  15. @phoenix
    Hmmm…at the beginning of the story, she is 15, just a year older than the ‘normal’ range..And this dad and daughter have been together for like…forever!..Trust me, if that kiss on the lips(which didn’t involve tongues) was more than fatherly…I would have detailed it!..hehehe….Please read on and give me that feedback…Thanks a lot Phoe..$ß.

  16. “It was that clear cut to my sixteen year old mind.”
    This is the last sentence in the second paragraph of your post

  17. and ya, i did not think tongues were involved! haha no i did not think that at all
    just saying that a regular naija household mother present or not, our fathers dont kiss us on our lips or lift us up@16/15 mine did not anyways

    1. Hmmm..dey dere..@phoenix..You should see some fathers and daughters…It would be almost seem like they are dating when its not true….To pure africans, that might seem uncomfortable but Civilization don enter na..With the movies and all, who knows the things that have been copied from the west huh?..hehehe.

      1. ya well maybe so i still think that writing from an african perspective, its a tad bit off, civilization or not, but hey, dont mind me. just my own view, its only my comment abi?

  18. Quite romantic, but less suspense. Brilliant though.

  19. Nicely done @bubblinna…..Well detailed.

    Good and kinda erotical’…..Hehehehehe

  20. @whizpoet…I just went with the flow of the pen…Sorry that it didn’t keep u on ‘suspension’…hehe…Thanks for dropping by…I appreciate…$ß.

  21. @brytandre….thanks bryt…I appreciate the nice comment…$ß.

  22. Good one. I totally loved the blossoming of their love but I am not too comfortable with the context of their love, maybe you shouldn’t have pointed it out as per the contest guidelines.

    1. Ya thats wat i thought too. the idea that it could b her half brother completely shines away d brilliance of the story

    2. @elly…Thanks a lot for enjoying the read.

      About the context of their love…

      …’A silly thought crossed my mind when I read them; Could my daddy have been yours too?… It’s quite impossible because Dad would have told us if it was. I won’t ever ask him though. Some things are best left unknown.’…

      To me, this is that of a girl asking a question about something she suspects…Suspicion doesn’t exactly make something true…You as a reader have decided that whatever she suspects is true, but this doesn’t make it true, we can’t be sure.

      If you go on with the thoughts in her mind, you would see Mikki as a boy who is unrelated by blood but happened to live with her as a brother. And they ended up in Love or lust..whichever you decide…lol..

      Maybe I shldn’t have pointed it out as U said…but then U might not have liked it as much as you did..
      Thanks a lot elly…I appreciate your taking the time…God bless…$ß.

  23. @phoenix:

    I wasn’t talking about practising safe sex. I was showing you where the rubber was.

    ”DUH!”? Easy there now…

    1. @dayogbenga: “tongue sticking out”

  24. Good work.

    And that…is an understatement.

    1. @dayogbenga… *smiles*…I can’t begin to explain how much that statement of yours means to me.
      Thanks a lot girl…I really appreciate…$ß.

  25. Getting bolder and stronger with your short stories, well done my friend :)

  26. @phoenix
    I wrote a story and I went with the rules as much as I could without ruining what I think is a good story.

    They forgot the condoms..and that singular act came with its problems. In real life, seeing as they forgot protection during the act, they would get protection after the act. Unwanted/teenage pregnancies is one of the reasons why people use condom…at least in this part of the world.

    And hey! If it’s gonna make it seem OK to you..Naija stories actually lets us write about nigerian characters and sometimes they may not be in Nigeria…So U can imagine that this happened in a ‘civilised’ place like south africa or any place of ur choice….hehehe…
    I’m enjoying watching you point out the ‘flaws’ in this…Thanks a lot.

  27. @sibbylwhyte i thought u might b enjoying it! anyways just pointing out d rules u missed(i bet i missed some too) n ur location is naija abi?
    NS lets us writes about naijan characters sure but @ d risk of repeating the rules flaw …..”they forgot d condoms”? c´mon! in real life ya, in romance novels ya

  28. @aghoghosam
    Thanks a lot sam..I promised you this. I don’t want to break a promise na…I appreciate your reading and commenting… $ß.

    Mean the while, how is Comfort?..She doing any crying gig this week?..hehehe..

    1. lool…she is on maternity leave :)

  29. @phoenix..
    Okay..I didn’t quite get the last sentence…but all is good that ends well…I wrote and you read..Equation don balance..Thanks a lot girl..

  30. @sibbylwhyte no biggie ! write more lemme read n comment joor when i write u must read n comment o then equation will balance

  31. @dayogbenga…I have come across a comment of yours where you said U were a female and even changed your pic cos people assumed you were male cos of your name…Am I wrong?..Well if I am, forgive me bro..hehehe…

    1. Definitely wasn’t me Bubb. Bro, is in order. Thumbs up again, the story is complete as it is.

  32. @phoenix..

    ‘Completely shines away the brilliance of the story?’….hehehehe… I rest this case…

  33. @phoenix.

    I intend to write o..I actually started writing short stories in March, so there would be more for you to read and of course, comment on…
    You can check out my stuff on NS and hopefully start from those ones…

  34. OH NO!!! Whata heck, didn’t know you are this “good-naughty” girl @sibbylwhyte……hahahhaahha

    Good story, just had to forgive ur fone a little for those error, guess we have thing in common…’typing on phone’

    Keep writing dear Bubbllinna

  35. sambright (@sambrightomo)

    ‘You were my first and I loved you best.’ This sums up their rendevouz.Nnena is indeed a round xter,I like d angle from which d tory is told.Beautiful perspective all giving d lañguage an aesth€tic fe€l.
    D msg is clear still,SÄFE SEX!@sibbylwhyte dear well done!

  36. I love this story. Soooooo nice.

  37. @aghoghosam

    Hmmm…so she be birthing little comforters now huh?..Nice!

  38. @greatnessforlife…

    Thanks a lot..I didn’t even know I was one..hehehe..

    Glad you forgave those, seeing as we have that in common… Thanks for reading and commenting…$ß.

  39. @kaycee…Just ‘Ok’?.. Thank you very much kind Sir..

  40. @sambrightomo..

    Thank you very much Sammy…so I finally got her rounded huh?..Yay!..
    You gladden my heart with your comment..Thanks, I appreciate…$ß.

    1. yes you got her rounded!LOL!

  41. @lachicabonita..

    Oh Chica!…I’m soooo glad you like it..I appreciate …Merçi beaucoup madamé…$ß.

  42. What a description you put up there. Vivid and clear. You could stir an emotion. Good work.

  43. Perfect story. Almost flawless, you really gat her rounded. Gracias.

  44. @bbtagoro…Thank you very much kind sir..I appreciate…$ß.

  45. @louis…thank you very much lactoo..With each new story, i ll try and make less mistakes…I appreciate your dropping by…$ß.

  46. Hehehehehehe… They don talk am finish… Beautiful story babes. Well done but ehn, shey you know say you no promote safe sex… But I forgive you sha cos your story rocks.

    Wish you the best dear.

  47. @gooseberry…Thanks Goosie…I didn’t promote safe sex?..How so?..I’d like to know wat exactly promoting safe sex is…In case of next time…please be kind enough as to tell me..Thanks for dropping by…I appreciate…$ß.

  48. @sambrightomo…Thank God o…cos that rounding up, confuse me wella..hehehe.

  49. No words…. Congrats, you just won the competition.

  50. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

    I wish it wasn’t a competition. An honest critique may sound defamatory and a glowing critique might be… suicide? Hehe,well we only live once abi? first the good parts: your narrative was very smooth,i easily lost myself in this teen girl’s life and effortlessly saw her world through her eyes. Your central character was consistent and believable. Your perspective was fresh and interesting.
    The bad parts; The theme of the competition and its guidelines didnt seem to shine through in this tale. Did you write this for the contest or it is something from your archives?
    Also it seems kind of sad,not a steamy raunchy pleasant love but a sad tragic one. Thank you for the messages you passed on Iam better

    Thank

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      I meant i am a better writer for reading this. Thank you.

  51. @jamesndu…Thanks for your lack of words…d story must be something to leave you short of words..
    As much as this was for a contest, I know I put up a good story…the rest is for the judges and people like you to decide…You have decided…God bless you for that…I appreciate…$ß.

  52. @nicolebassey
    I find love stories that are mushy very boring..it’s just me…The tragic note is what helps me write..In life, sad things happen a lot, so I write about that..
    No, it’s not from my archives..I have written only 4 short stories and this is one of them.. We were told to write about funny/sad/happy love stories…I chose the 2nd…

    Thanks a lot for the kind words…I appreciate…$ß.

    I’m humbled that you gleaned something from this…Merçi.

    1. Sunshine (@nicolebassey)

      Hmm, thank you for the insight. And for the grace with which you handle all our raving :-)

  53. @nicolebassey…hehehe….Thanks sunshine, I appreciate..

  54. Madam you have done well as expected

  55. @ono-edosio…Thanks kind sir, glad that I didn’t dissappoint you..I appreciate..$ß.

  56. just checking out the competition and I’m impressed….killing Miky however was a cheap way out of what would have been a knotty juicy complicated situation and IMHO you didn’t milk the death well enough………good work sha, very good work…..

  57. Hmmmmm, girl you are something! This is stark reality and I readily identify with it! Keep it coming. I shall be at this end, reading!

  58. @lulu…Glad that you are impressed..that’s a start.
    About it being cheap, didn’t know that death was cheap this days.
    The juicy complication..and then have the rest of the story rushed cos of the word count?..No thanks…hehehe… I appreciate you dropping by… Thanks a lot…$ß.

  59. @chinyerechimodo….I am very much humbled by your comment..Will keep posting for you… Thank you sister, bless your soul….$ß.

  60. Wow. Explicit story wit a wonderful storyline. I found myself wrapped around Nnenna’s world. Sad Mikky died but den life is not a bed of roses. Shit happens. Good work n more grease.

  61. @laryoo…Oh thanks a lot..Glad I took you on a comfortable journey in2 her life….glad U got wat I did with the tragedy..’Shit happens and there is happy NEVER after too.. .Thanks for dropping by, I appreciate your comment…$ß.

  62. Another nice one from NS Posh Princess.

    The sex scenes were quite ‘honest’. And the last paragraph, very classy.

    Nice one.

  63. Amor (@iykewifey)

    He he hoty sex in the air lately on NSer.

    bubbllinna You`re story glued me to my seat.

    For fact you also write on your phone kudos.

    now the critic.

    Non use of protection didn`t fit for me

    Considering the project I`m working on about sex education teens and save sex young adult and single.

    also the contest rule, part from that!

    well done nice piece for matured minds.

  64. @jaywriter…Thanks a lot. Knew you always had an eye for the classy…I appreciate your dropping by…$ß.

  65. @iykewifey…Thanks for dropping by..I appreciate..I’ll do better next time…$ß.

  66. Hmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnn #NuffSaid

  67. I totally enjoyed reading your story. Even though I think the 2nd person narrative technique is becoming quite an obsession these days, I think you deployed the technique artfully. I love the way you introduced some suspense into the story by suggesting the affair between your MCs could have been an incestuous one. I noticed a few typos and grammar issues but will only point out your use of the word ‘your’s’ (that should be ‘yours’ without an apostrophe). I also think the conclusion of the story was a bit anti-climatic; the story could have done without it. Part of the appeal of the short story genre is the ability to manage an abrupt ending which leaves your reader both satisfied and longing for more (which they may not get afterall).
    A nice job. Kudos!

  68. @teekellz..You always type that..Thanks a lot…$ß.

  69. @petunia007

    Thanks for checking up on this post. I appreciate.. and I will get better in time…Glad that you enjoyed reading…Thanks a lot…$ß.

  70. Ouch ! the storyline was tight and well put. Sincerely,I enjoyed reading this.

  71. All I can say is wooooowwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  72. Dear Old Mikki…Hope the mail come early…Gud one!!

  73. Brilliant! Absolutely Amazing! See what a writer who has been grounded in poetry can unleash to the prosaic world! I am proud of you.

    Keep improving you art.

  74. I replied you @sibbylwhyte, dunno where it went to but I no fit type long again o. In a nut shell, promoting safe sex should either show measures to be taken during sex to prevent pregnancy and std’s or it should show the negative effects that unsafe sex has on young girls.

    Here, aside them forgetting the condom, you have made the after effect of her unprotected sex seem easy and rosey. How her dad forgave her and is going to stand by her and make everything cool for her doesn’t seem like its promoting safe sex. You’ve shown the mushy side, not the brutal side of its effect.

    Just imagine a naïve 14 year old girl reading this, will she shy away from unprotected sex especially if she has a father that is cool like that?? Forget the adults, most times, when such topics come up, we should have the growing in mind cos adults fully know their left from right. Its the teenagers that are confused.

    Well, you are not the only one who didn’t promote safe sex but your story was almost perfect with this as its flaw in my eyes.

    Welldone..

  75. @positive…Thanks a lot, I appreciate…$ß.

  76. @weirdpile…I really hope so too…Thanks!..I appreciate…$ß.

  77. @chemokopi…Thanks a lot chemo, your words gladden my heart…I appreciate it…really…$ß.

  78. @gooseberry…Thanks for taking the time..
    Thing is, we were asked to SUBTLY promote safe sex in a love story. The focus was on story, not the safe sex…at least that’s what i thought.

    Now in our present age, even a 9yrs old knows unprotected sex is uncool. The girl in the story realises she is too young to be a mother, it’s better to be a mother than a murderer no?.

    Whoever reads this and thinks the way you put it, is simply put- a fool. I mean, that you have a ‘cool’ dad doesnt give you the license to fuck up*pun intended*.
    Thanks again for taking the time…I appreciate…$ß.

  79. Concerning your first paragraph, read my first comment and understand what I wrote there….

    Then, yes, everyone knows that unprotected sex is uncool but that’s not the issue, the issue is have you promoted safe sex??? To me, No.

    About calling whosoever sees this and gets confused foolish, well, many young people are confused and do foolish things while growing up so? Its like watching a movie where people smoke or sniff coke and wanting to experience it. Its not like they don’t know its dangerous.

    I’ve told you that you have a wonderful story. This won’t prevent you from coming tops.

  80. Great Story, reminds me of Danielle Steel’s romances.

    YOu are great.

  81. @gooseberry..

    Hmmm goosie, if i didn’t understand that first part yesterday, i surely can’t today…I am hungry…lol..

    You say i am not alone with the non-promotion. Dat means I am in good company yeah?..hehe.. (you make quite a strong case by the way)

    Thanks a lot for the vote of confidence…It means a lot to me…

  82. @igweaj..And all I got to say is tthaaaaaannkkkss!!..I appreciate bro…God bless.

  83. @elovepoetry…Elove…read lots of steel huh?..Thanks a lot…I appreciate..$ß.

  84. @sibbyl, chop o. Make faint no faint you… And you are in good company.

  85. At dis point in time…I jus upload swallow for my belly…and I dey Kampe!…hehehe..

  86. Now this is a trulyu heartfelt story.It deserves the spotlight and of course the win.

    Don’t stop writing.

    Well done!!!

  87. @easylife2..

    Thank you very much Lawal…I appreciate..With people like you on my side, I just can’t stop…$ß.

  88. @nicolebassey….Just discovering this…you did an amazing job of making me connect with Nnenna. I could feel her nostalgia and sadness so strongly. This was well-written.

  89. @queenobo…Thanks a lot queen..

  90. @bubbllinna sorry to be reading this late, but its worth it. You’re a special talent.

  91. Whatever you do, don’t stop writing…

  92. You are a veeeeeery good writer, and your story deserves to win, good job.

  93. Laurence (@Laurence-Chidindu)

    I joined recently and I’m just reading this piece…and my goodness,that was excellent…to think that it was narrated all thru,pretty much no dialogue,and you still delivered it on point…I duff my heart…you are legendary in the making. Kudos and trust me I can go on and on cos you did good.

  94. wow. wow wow wow. @sibbylwhyte this is amazing. I can’t believe I’m seeing it for the first time

  95. @drzhivago. Forgive me for not having replied in time. Thanks Kind Sir for your kindly comment, I do appreciate. $ß.

  96. @thenaijaseer. Thanks a lot for that vote. I appreciate, truly. $ß.

  97. @laurence-chidindu.. You are a nice gentleman. I feel humbled by your comment. Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. Welcome to NS even though it is late to say that. Cheers! $ß

  98. @tokuharash. I’m glad you dropped by, better late than never they say.
    Thanks, really. I appreciate. Cheers! $ß.

  99. @magic.I promise not to stop. God bless you Mister for the encouragement. Cheers! $ß.

  100. Ah! Bro Dayo it is then. lol.

  101. Bola (@basittjamiu)

    You have this descriptive power and mouth organistic narration, as I read I feel along and watch too. I love this epistolary writing, mixed with love and lost.

    @sibbylwyte You are gifted with writing, it is such a great gift, whatever you do never stop writing please.

    Weldone!

  102. Saying this is good, is an understatement.
    @sibbylwhyte, you can write.
    I can’t get over this. I will be on your profile for a while, reading your posts.

  103. @sibbylwhyte
    sorry to say
    but the way
    you write every day
    is so wickedly captivating…………
    love your masterpieces………………

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