The Rejected stone

I got to know miss A on arriving the agency that fateful day in june, i discovered that she had also arrived the agency that same day. Her full name was Atinuke – but somehow she was nicknamed Miss A. maybe for reasons I did not know and did not care either.

Everybody disliked miss A except me. Even her head of department took delight in reporting her to the head of the agency. but miss A was lively, skittish, vibrant, beautiful and not too tall- infact she was potable. the only snag with miss A was her unseriousness- she was not serious with her job.

I became curious and got close to miss A and in no time we became good friends, the entire agency was flabbergasted that I could keep company with a lady who had so many male visitors calling her on the phone all day.

“Are you not afraid for your life?’ a colleague asked me one day. I ignored their rantings and probed deeper into the lifestyle of Miss A and she was co-operative. “why do you have so many male friends?’ I asked her one wednesday afternoon while taking lunch. she smiled and looked at me “…. see ‘she began “you men have too much money and you are always looking for who to spend it with-” she paused for awhile. ” of course i have no problems helping such men in spending their money.” Then after awhile she said something that amazed and surprised me at the same time. ‘…look all those men who carry me to office and then begin to disturb with phone calls have nothing to do with me’ she said. I smiled “I don’t understand what you mean by have nothing to do with you-” ‘common Fred don’t play dumb with me – okay what I mean is this , they don’t know where I live and neither have I gone to bed with any of them” she said. “waow this is great” I exclaimed. “ah ah see you in this era of AIDS you think I don’t value my life- you think I want to die like a dog? she asked.
I shook my head”… ordinarily I would expect that a girl of your type with all the money invested on you by your parents will be careful with her life….” “that’s the point” she cut in interrupting me” I can’t afford to take foolish risks, life is too short to be thrown away like that” she said. “am glad to hear that”.
I returned from canteen impressed and amazed by what I had heard from Miss A. The following week things took a new dimension because I believed all that she told me our friendship got stronger and hotter, she became the envy of all in the agency- the women folk disliked her because I refused to leave her so that they would mock her and some of the guys – my refusal to dump her for them to move in.Eventually all her male acquaintances disappeared and I was the only man standing, everybody noticed this development and they hailed me for my tenacity and faith in Miss A, I recalled when my friend and colleague Joe walked up to me that day and shook my hands “… Fred may your trust in this lady never be broken I wish you the best with her” he had said. “thank you” I responded. ” I believe everybody deserves a chance”
Miss A despite her unseriousness with her job was a very intelligent lady, I could recall her complaints and disgust with her current place of work “this place is so drab, one day I will live…” she would say. And I recall always consoling her to be calm and plan well because nothing was impossible. Then one beautiful wednesday morning Miss A stunned me with a news that was to transform our lives forever “.. guess what” she began when we saw that morning. “hmm you are about to get married” I said laughing “Is that all you can think about?” she chided “well I can really think of anything right now” I replied. “well I have been given a fellowship by an American university-” without warning I gathered her into my arms and covered her with kisses before calling myself to order- I let her go while trying to cover my actions and make amends for the awkward moments. She merely smiled “congratulations so when are you leaving? I asked. she held up her hands “wait now you did not even let me finish..” ” sorry- please continue” I said. “Apart from the fellowship which is all expenses paid, I have been given the optuion of coming with a dependant..” “really?” Isaid while a lot ideas ran through my mind.
For awhile we were both quiet, “Fred will you like to accompany me to the USA?” she asked. Alot of things went through my mind, first this was the right moment to have hugged and kissed her but i didn’t and I suspected something like this was coming but I didn’t want it to come through me.”wait don’t you have siblings?’ Iasked.”No” she replied.” well am glad at the offer, I will like to go with you”
when the news eventually broke out in the agency, our admirers and haters were at a cross road at the turn of events.our profile in the agency changed and especially those who disliked her suddenly wanted to be her friend because she was going to America and they wanted to cash in on the opporunity of getting something from her. As we prepared to leave I could not help but be amazed at human beings and the lesson here- the stone that was rejected suddenly became the head stone. I learnt never to look down on anybody nor underestimate them because anything is possible for any one that has life in them.

14 thoughts on “The Rejected stone” by mikeeffa (@mikeeffa)

  1. “one day I will live”

    I guess you typed this off your mobile phone. Too many small letters in the wrong places, paragraphs are not defined, it’s not properly structured.

    And the story itself just breezed through the telling and somehow landed.

    Please edit your stuff – and then try harder at your craft.

    1. thanks for the observation

      1. I stand to be corrected that nobody can ever edit himself to the satisfaction of another, no matter how you edit a piece somebody elsewhere will still have a different opinion. any way we are work in progress thanks

  2. You perhaps might eventually call yourself a writer, much later. But not now.
    The story was too shallow, and the structuring is unforgivable.
    No dey play with people for this place O°˚˚˚!

    1. we are work in progress if you are of what people will say you will never go anywhere- naija stories is a forum for expression thanks

      1. its not about playing with people for this place-o if i may borrow a bit from you but its about forgiving people for their shallow and poor structuring- am sure the great Soyinka did not get it right in one day.

  3. Lets start from the beginning….yes, we all do surely start from somewhere.

    The story was good,lots of bumps around the edges. Perhaps with more practice you will bring your own.

    1. thanks its all about encouraging one another Achebe did not become famous overnight thanks for the correction- well taken

  4. @Mikeeffa,

    It would help make your story more readable if you had the lines with speech on separate lines, and if you pay attention to punctuation. E.g. instead of

    “.. guess what” she began when we saw that morning. “hmm you are about to get married” I said laughing “Is that all you can think about?” she chided “well I can really think of anything right now” I replied. “well I have been given a fellowship by an American university-”

    you could have this:

    “Guess what?” she began when we saw that morning.

    “Hmm… you are about to get married,” I said, laughing.

    “Is that all you can think about?” she chided

    “I can’t really think of anything right now,” I replied.

    “Well, I have been given a fellowship by an American university-”

    Also, watch out for your word usage. For example, you would use ‘fateful day’ only when something dramatic or shocking was about to happen; there was no such incident in this story.

    Then, ‘flabbergasted’ gives the impression that the agency staff were completely astonished, but this sounds too ‘extreme’ – it would be better to say that they were merely ‘puzzled’ or ‘bemused’.

    Lastly, there’s the same issue with the word ‘rantings’ – it gives the impression that the agency staff were constantly shouting at him because of his association with Miss A.

    But I liked the story; I enjoyed seeing how the relationship between the MC and Miss A progressed. and I liked the positive note it ended on. Well done.

    1. thank you very much, first i agree totally with your points I agree the use of words were too extreme. the beauty of writing is for beautiful souls like you to make their lovely inputs so as to bring out a quality story. thank you again.

  5. There lies a lesson amidst the clutter, it’s a good one. Keep writing, you’ll get better if you set your mind to it. Well done…$ß.

  6. oh yes angel- no body can discourage me from what i have set out to do and achieve in life. I believe life is about learning a man who gets it at the first try must have copied it somewhere.

  7. U’ve seen @TolaO‘s comment. I also second @Seun-Odukoya. And forget this Ur talk of nobody being able to edit himself to the satisfaction of another; how do U think most of us do it here? Practice harder. Don’t be in a hurry to finish Ur story. Read novels to see how it is done. If U send this off to an Editor or Agent, Slush pile, straight; even much better works have entered the bin.

    Take Ur time with Ur stories-no rush. Edit, and rewrite when necessary.
    Good luck.

    1. thank you sir, thank you for the advice and bye

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