Shattered

The crickets chirped, the frogs croaked, the night was alive, nature’s eerie wind passed over the corn rows behind the barn, and they joined the nocturnal chorus. Though half asleep, Ashake was a part of their fellowship. Her heart tuned to every sound even as her mind churned in a whirlwind of roaring thoughts.

She looked out the window and the lone star she glimpsed from afar seemed to send a spark into her worried soul. She took that as a good sign from the gods. She adjusted her falling wrapper and lay down again on the raffia mat she had always slept on for the past 19 years. She shouldn’t arouse anyone with her pacing footsteps. Now that the morning was so close, she stared at the thatched roof as if it shone a path into the future.

Ashake could see Lagos already. She could smell it, Durojaiye has regaled her with tales of the big city. its bustling streets, its tarred roads, the elegantly dressed men and women, the cries of ‘Oshodi’ by drunk and mean looking youths called conductors, her heart beat accelerated. Already, she could taste the ‘Ewa goin’ he often told her about and she could see herself elegantly dressed in the arms of the one she loved, living the city life.

Sango has been kind to her, she thought. Her dreams were just a few hours away. even though she didn’t plan it this way, it didn’t matter she thought. She was going to finish her secondary school in the city and go to the university too. Maami has always told her to be true to her heart and follow her dreams. no one will care after all when she returns in a few years time with her husband and their baby. She rubbed her 3 weeks pregnant tummy and hoped the baby will be a boy, thoughts of that curled a smile across her pretty face and it blew away some of the guilt that plagued her of leaving home without telling her parents. She didn’t want to bring shame to them.

The first cock crow shook her away from her thoughts and she jumped up with the agility of a feline cat. She grabbed the sack that also served as her pillow, stuffed the few wrappers she had into them, and threw on her only gown. He had asked her not to pack too much.

She sneaked out of the window and hurried across her father’s hut. When she was across the road, she looked back one more time and prayed for Sango to keep her parents safe till she gets back. Ashake hurried to the garage, she avoided the majorfootpaths so as not to come across any of the villagers on their way to the farm. She smiled to herself as she imagined him waiting impatiently, his brows creased a worried smirk on his face. He had made her swear she won’t disappoint him. If only he knew how much she wanted this.

The garage loomed and Ashake smiled. There was a beehive of activities. It was unusually busy because the youth corpers who came to serve in the town were all returning home today. She saw Ifeanyi who served with Durojaiye at her school clinic, sitting beside the white bus loading for Lagos. His face lit up with a smile when he saw her. He responded warmly to her greetings. No one knew of their plan, she thought.
After taking a brief look around, she asked Ifeanyi if Durojaiye was here already. He smiled and told her Durojaiye left about twenty minutes ago with the first Lagos bound bus. Her stomach churned and she suddenly felt queasy. She held onto Ifeanyi’s shirt and asked him if he was serious. Iya Tope the food seller beside them jokingly confirmed it asking her if she came to bid him farewell. Ashake screamed, her eyes wet with tears, and her vision blurred. She felt her legs give way under her, She didn’t feel anything as she fell into faintness.



29 thoughts on “Shattered” by Anda Damisa Lazywrita (@Anderson-paul)

  1. Ha!
    What brings you here?

    You are still good.

    1. lol,i have alwas been here bro. thank you

  2. Are U still in this part of the world?
    I feel her pain.

    1. yea i am bro, just been a lil busy.

  3. Welcome back, @Anderson-Paul.

    There were a few minor typos here and there, but this didn’t spoil the story too much for me; I still felt the naivety and anguish of the MC show through.

    I also liked some of the poetic turns of phrase.

    Well done.

    1. thank you, i will work on them.

  4. I don’t think “she fell into faintness” is a correct sentence.

    Meanwhile…this is very strong for a first effort in prose.

    Nice job.

    1. oh, i guess you are right but at the same time, maybe i just stumbled on something new. thanks tho

  5. Men! @ Paul..hey you; wot’s up alligator?

    I am liking this one, another heart about to be broken? say no please!

    1. lol, where have you beenho a wgile. like it, loos like the eart is broken already tho

  6. The heart don already break..@Dottaraphels…The guy chop, clean mouth, ball out…

    Nice one Paul…Well done…$ß.

    1. exactly, bad guy things.thanx

  7. A poignant story; brilliantly executed and well told. Nice – He played her emotional 419 and o tun lu ni jibiti obo!

    1. lol @ 419 jibiti, she was naive.. thank you

  8. Too bad 4 naive Asheke…”Lagos dreams and their nightmares…”

    Nice story,u such a storyteller.keep it up!

    1. yea, always nightmares for the naive ones, i ll try..thank you

  9. Too bad 4 naive Asheke…”Lagos dreams and their nightmares…”

    Nice story,u such a storyteller.keep it up!so much in love wit d exposition.

  10. na wa oo! love n heart break. well my DEEPEST CUT is around the corner. i love the creativity in the writing. kudos

    1. well we will wait for it then, dont make the heartbreak hard tho..thanks

  11. Great story I totally enjoyed every bit of it.well done Anderson.I look foward to reading more of ur stories. Cheers.

    1. thank you, do more of poetry tho but i ll try

  12. This is interesting. I totally enjoyed this. @Anderson-paul, well done and welcome.

    1. thank you Eletrika, glad you enjoyed it

  13. well done and welcome cheers

  14. this is beautiful, hope this is not the end of the story

    1. Fortunately its the end ..lol..extending it will just spoil everything

  15. Beautiful. You are indeed a story teller/writer. Keep them coming, @anderson-paul

    1. wow, thank you plenty, i sure will

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