For the One that Birthed Me

For the One that Birthed Me

Thousands are the words,

Which I long to say to you,

Yet they still remain unsaid,

Hovering in the deeper parts of me,

Desiring to be released and freed,

To describe how I really feel,

For many years have flown by,

And I am still thinking…how?

How will I free myself of this burning desire?

How will I say these words to you?

 

Mother-daughter we are,

Yet more like familiar strangers we seem,

Dwelling under the same roof since the womb years,

Where we got it wrong, I can only wonder.

Fond memories remain distant and few,

But the sting of your words I can still feel,

And the memory of the pain always real.

Many a time I desired a mother’s love,

Cold shoulders were served instead,

An action which birthed a hardened heart.

 

Identical we are on the exterior,

But as night and day we very much are.

While you sought control and submission,

Independence and freedom I desired.

A prison you created for your offspring,

The black sheep wanted to break loose.

Your way or the high way it had to be,

No negotiations allowed,

With a very high cost to pay,

Because the high way I chose to take.

 

I look at you and wonder,

Why these two hearts couldn’t merge,

And dwell in peace and one accord.

Though the years and distance long,

A disconnect there still is,

As a mighty wall so strongly divides us,

One which the bonds of nature cannot seem to break.

I tried to reach out, I tried to mediate,

An exercise in futility all efforts turned out,

Because your heart I never could penetrate.

 

I write to release the words buried so deep,

To free myself of this guilt and regret I feel.

Love and understanding I oft prayed for,

Somehow the opposite I always received.

All the bad and ugly you chose to see,

That unleashed the burning anger in you,

Stemmed from good intentions derailed.

To conform and please you I often tried,

But a constant battle there was within,

That is, to gain your love or lose myself?

 

Bestfriends we can never be, that much I can see,

Because guarded are you and so am I.

But my love for you is deep nonetheless,

As should be for the one that birthed me.

I just plead for you to see,

To see the good that lies within,

To see the child reaching out to her mother,

Calling for understanding and acceptance;

That we may tell a different story,

Of how love, once misplaced, is now found,

Beween this girl and the one that birthed her.




22 thoughts on “For the One that Birthed Me” by Adedoyin (@doyeen)

  1. The story is already a different one,since the courage to find your voice has come.

    This is beautifully sad, but something so real in many lives. Responsible parenting come with the knowledge that whilst you are an emotional anchor for your wards (that’s what they are after all) best friends may not be achieved, but still you chastise with the left and love with the right.

    Perhaps the yoke is broken and the next generation will not suffer this torture which has plagued a mind from cradle to now.

    This is so beautifully sad!

    1. Well said! Thank you.

  2. Beautifully written. It shows the depth of sadness that many go through in their relationship with parents.

    The best thing that has occurred in this instance is that the child who became an adult has found forgiveness for their parent and therefore themselves. If this hadn’t occurred healing in the child wouldn’t exist.

    Better still is that the child that now became an adult, has learnt invaluable life lessons that will hopefully, help raise their own child/children in the future.

    Profound and quite nice. Thank you for sharing this piece.

  3. In-depth… very thoughtful and real. Well written too.
    Well done @doyeen

  4. This is so sad yet beautifully written…

  5. Yes, this is sad. Would have suggested that you put some more flavour by introduction of a few poetic devices…but well, what I do I know about such? :)
    Well done.

    1. Lol. I’m still getting my head round poetry but I’m sure as I get better I will be able to use poetic devices as you have suggested. Thank you!

  6. Beautiful, dear. bless your heart for this.

  7. Touching and emotional. A very powerful dirge. Enjoyed it, albeit twas vewi sad.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it.

  8. Beautifully written.

    But, parents and kids are they really supposed to agree?

    1. I think they can…it just depends on the maturity and understanding of the parties involved.

  9. Well written poem. Message powerfully delivered.

  10. Feel the same way with my pops…sometimes…I like how you write

  11. I think a lot of families are like that, and it’s common with the female child. I think it’s high time parents understand the fact that the way a male child is handled should be different from that of the female. Females are usually very emotional. They’re the easiest to bring up, as well as the toughest. It’s just a matter of understanding.

    Very well done for this @doyeen

  12. amazing…well done!

  13. Thanks everyone :-)

  14. I feel U on this…

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