My Girl Problem

It’s so infuriating the way most girls think. They say they are not the weaker vessels, that they are equal to the average man, but then they go around to expect men to open the door for them and wait for them to enter the room before we can, before they can call him the so-called ‘perfect gentleman’. They go around waiting for the guy to ask them out when THEY like him. They go around playing their feminine charm and if it doesn’t work, they say the guy is insensitive. They fight for woman rights and all of that unnecessary crap; I feel it’s because they are totally insecure and cannot hold their own and can only find the opposite sex to put the blame on.

This is only because the animals of lesser importance are scary, cute or irritating. Man takes all the blame. I don’t blame them; they have nothing else to do. They try to hide behind cooking cleaning, child rearing and all that shit that not much people care about. Hell, some are even getting high end jobs, the nerve of those women. They leave the child rearing to others like them who then inflict our children with the pains of child abuse or the evil of witchcraft. And they say we don’t appreciate the fact that “we are trying to add to the money you bring home”.

And then they come home at night and tell us they are too tired to attend to their marital responsibilities and when their men find others of their specie to satisfy them, they cry their hearts out telling them that they “loved you, how could you do this to me?”. Like we told them to go to work and come back home tired, like they didn’t say at the altar to love and to cherish. And then what’s this thing about them expecting guys to read their freaking minds. It’s so disgusting when they say, “I expected you to…” and then u are like “why didn’t you say it?” and then they would be like (while rough-necking and playing with their annoying fingers that won’t stay still), “a natural person in their right mind…” My left foot!

You can’t begin to imagine the amount of time men would be about to slap into the abyss the freckled face of those annoying… And then they’ll say stuff like you can’t or won’t or don’t understand. I can tell you without bias that every word stated here is as real as the hair on your scalp [i mean if u actually have your natural strands on! i don’t mean the Brazilians or Peruvians!]…a piece of advice, ladies why don’t you simply cut your hair according to your pocket! It’s simply annoying that every female species can’t seem to feel normal or straight without starving just to afford the almighty weave! For Christ’s sake it’s the remains of another dead woman in a suburban country!

Wake up and smell the coffee… to think another woman who can’t afford a mold of bread in a public Mexican market decides to sell a part of her hair to feed, should make you sit and ask yourself… What do i have on or in me that’s valuable? The response we all know is ‘nothing”. It’s not always about the physical. Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! When was the last time you sat by yourself and tried applying some make up on your attitudes, dispositions and mindset! It’s not always about the ‘victoria secret’… because she’s definitely keeping the truth from you.

Not about the “Mary Kay’… Are you sure you’d rather hide behind another feminine image rather than just be real and clean! And then you make the brothers go through hell trying to please you so you can afford a whole stack of make-up set! I think you should have a handy stack of the scriptures because it’s got all the prescriptions for your confusions.

Bottom line, Work on the attitude and leave them brothers alone… They have their lives to live and you have yours so… Buzz off.



45 thoughts on “My Girl Problem” by kandy (@lexash)

  1. I agree with you..up to a point.

    A lot of women like to think they know how to manipulate men. Heh.

    Yeah. I particularly find the ‘open-the-door-for-me’ women very amusing. Imagine; we arrive at a function together and you’re actually sitting in a car waiting for me to come open the door for you. I think that’s stretching it.

    I can open the door and allow you precede me inside/outside a building. No biggy.

    I can open the car door for you to get it and sit before getting in myself. No biggy.

    But waiting for me to come open the door…?! Overkill. I don enter siddon before I realise say you no even dey with me. Heh.

    Ignore the ‘weaker sex/equal sex’ argument. It’ll only give you a migrane.

    Those are cards women play when its convenient.

    A strong woman knows her position; and plays it well. She does not compete with any man; she does not drag trousers with him because she knows the incredible power in her skirts, and she’s comfortable in them. That’s sexy.

    Nice one man.

    1. @seunodukoya…could not say it better myself, a strong woman has no time for games like that.
      @lexash…You do have some relevant points but seriously,are you referring to Woman or girls? There is a big difference. You have rather jumbled up your complaints ,making it quite difficult to respond to. I get your beef though, you need to learn when to and what caliber of WOMAN you should take seriously.

    2. thanks sir…. true, what u said

  2. @lexash, if you’ve got problems with your girl, go solve it elsewhere. Don’t come here lashing women as if you’ve never gone into one before, or didn’t come out of one.

    I wonder how else you want us to be. If we’re above, you complain. If we’re equal, you complain. If we’re below again, still complain.

    Give us some break pleeeeeeeease!

    1. @babyada, kool btw….lets not hold our breath on the break bit,lol

      After years of finally being taken seriously, evolving has us all twisted by the knickers. Lexash has voiced out what a lot of the male species feel but unfortunately, their take on this comes from the many jaded ideals of the so-called TODAY woman.

    2. @Babyada I am surprised u said dis,really surprised.Feminism isnt all about rants,it is simply d reality tht a woman has subtle powers she is endowed with and knows how to wield it without actually making noise.ASk Eve how she did hers.Adam simply followed without questions.I agree with @lexash.

    3. I wonder why u r taking it personal…Okay, i generalized a tit bit, but except you internally admitted that you are like the described, then it wasn’t directed at you in particular.

  3. Wake up and smell the coffee…as in they hd not only smell d coffee,they Shd smell their Brazillian hair.e dey smell like mess after a while.*I no kuku no d difference btw brazillian nd Peruvian,so who dey fool who? Av u ever bn close to one b4? WyAak!u feel like throwing up

    1. @sambright…hehehehe…experience has taught you well I guess.. The truth is this; those weave-ons actually cost a lot and they can’t afford to change hairstyles every week. Hence, the smells. I feel your pain brother.

      @eletrika…we are women and yes, whatever form we take, is to satisfy men rather than ourselves…most times. Yet, the men are still not satisfied. Wetin we go do na? Nonetheless, he has a point. There is taking pride in being a woman and taking advantage in being a woman. In this parts, we do the latter rather than the former. I believe that if a woman wants respect, she should command it and not plead for it.

  4. @lexash What were you thinking when you wrote this crap about women?

    Do you expect us WOMEN to sing praise for you?

    Your post reminds me about a book i read sometime ago about a man who kept complaining that his wife do

    nothing but take care of the house and kids,,, so one day the woman decided to switch their job the man

    stayed at home, took care of the kids by the end of the day the man asked his wife to take back her position of

    taking care of the house!
    From that day the man never complain rather respect and apreciate his wife duty.

    A man who treats his*wife/girl friend or Women|* like a princess shows that he had been raised by a Queen *his mother*
    I second what @babyada said please give us a break.

    1. @iykewifey, I know it’s difficult not to take a punch @ this one; he makes it too easy. Seriously though, the complaints are too many, too fickle and as I said the sad reality of the writer and like thinkers.

      As a woman you know that these rantigs do not define our species so to even beg for a break from opinions such as these is a waste of time.

  5. Hahaha! Well this is what Literature is all about, and it should be propagated irrespective of the medium used. But seriously @Eletrika strip the complains, the young man is passing accross a valuable message. Must everything boil down to sexism?

    1. @francis, Not every work that gets posted on a literary forum, should be tagged literature..
      If any of the known writers, was to do a piece such as this, I bet you they would make it look and read more reasonable…not present the womenfolk as fools….This for worth it’s worth is best tagged ‘Whinings of a disgruntled male’..

      You ask @babyada if it must always boil down to sexism….Now I have to ask…Doesn’t this post seem sexist to you?… Boys would always be boys, so I would understand if You think not.

    2. Thank you sir…as in…you get!

  6. This is crap..utter crap. If some girl has done a number on you, just don’t come and fill NS wt your overtly biased opinions.

    There are so many things I had like to pick and dissect in this piece you got here..
    But the truth is though they say a writer is not always his works, I can safely assume that you are what your work says…A chauvinistic male…and I don’t want to waste any more strength on this than I already have..

    You ask for girls to ‘Buzz off’ and leave em brodas alone..Dem brodas are the ones who come looking!

    If you are so anti-women/girls,, how about you go stick yourself in the desert and become a recluse..

    Good job with your punctuations by the way…$ß

    1. Well said Bubb…Time to seperate the men from the boys.

    2. hehehehehehehehehehe. @sibbylwhyte! hehehehehehehehehehehe. O npe!

    3. Don’t be angry, ehn?! I am no anti-women, as a matter of fact, you wouldn’t believe i wrote it if you met me. I don’t hate girls, but i wrote this in mock-anger. Take it or leave it, some of it is true, no most of it, and it take a real person,[woman, if i may] to admit it and try to say, “It’s true” and laugh over it. If you noticed, funny is one of the types i accrued to it, but if it makes you angry… Well just a lil’ bit sorry.

  7. war oooooof the sexes……..we should call a truuuuce

  8. Hahaha, I’ve not seen something that amused me this much in a long time. Really, this is hilarious… in a strange, silly, thought/defense/emotion provoking way. @lexash, I must say well done. You passed across your message very well!
    Shey na break you want? No problem, that break will definitely come.
    You words have some truth to them, a lot of truth, I must say. However, bros me, generalizing it is the worst thing you could ever have done. Evidence? See the comments you have aroused in some of these cool writers.
    Well, I like to give people benefits of doubt and second chances, so let me not conclude you are a woman-hater. Sometimes, it’s cool to write stuff like this to get the house talking and get the engines of our debate-based minds rolling & screeching.
    I guess ladies should take note and amend their paths- where necessary- but I must warn, MIND YOURSELF.
    Kudos, @lexash.

    1. @Chizorom, a gal after my very heart.

      Thank you!

  9. Choi! @Bubbillina, sorry ma’am if I have touched a nerve, I seek no tantrum, I’m just being my rational self. But to make myself clear.
    Literature to me is all about capturing the reality in fine words. As hurting as it might be for some to acknowledge but this one did capture the reality, if not all but some, if it doesn’t then be my guest to say so. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or chose to ignore that close to 60percent of the works of female writers always paint the men in a bad light, even here in NS. So I don’t know why someone’s rants should elicit such kind of reaction as I’m seeing here, well what do I know, boys will always be boys as you said.
    My question ‘why must everything boil down to sexism’ was addressed to one individual who I think was taking this rant too far. Everybody is entitled to air his/her opinion no matter how obnoxious it is. One musn’t read though but when one chooses to, one shouldn’t read it with sentimentality. Always have in mind that the writer wasn’t talking about you, unless it coincidentally was. And again I’ve read some of Eletrika’s comments on some works, at some point we even threw banters if she could remember, that’s the major reason I asked her that question. It has nothing to do with this work or how I feel ok.

  10. My oh my. Like earlier said, just because your girl has issues like this, doesn’t mean all females do. Nice piece of work, true to some extent, wrong in the generalization.

  11. *laughs*…been a long time i got into this mode…

    Tis a new day, so let’s kiss n make up people.

    @francis…Bros mi…Enough said on the subject…How you dey?

    @lexash, just don’t be quick to generalise things based on some individuals…that said, I’m done with this…$ß

    1. @sibbylwhyte, it’s part of the fun nah. I’m fine. Keep bubbling…

  12. Why didnt i see this post earlier?
    This is so predictable and childish.
    Real women wont come here to defend whatever.
    And this writer is too young, otherwise he would have known that this cause is a lost one. It will make absolutely no difference.

  13. @sibbylwhite, @kaycee, @francis, @mardey, @dottaraphels, @chimzorom, @drzhivago @banky. @iykewifey, @babyada, @sambrightomo and @Seun-Odukoya
    Interesting. People beefing people.
    The pen (or keyboard) is still mightier than the sword
    While I agree with @lexash in some areas, this is his opinion, its HIS girl problem.
    Every human being has a right to [express] an opinion (and for that opinion to be recognized and taken seriously) without necessarily deriding someone else’s.
    The guy hasn’t even replied since it was published, and if I was him I won’t.
    I have a feeling “My Guy Problem” will be appearing soon.

    1. #sibbylwhyte

    2. Your hilarious lol !

  14. lol, Come to think of it! I don`t even like brazillian hair, maybe because it is on my beck and call over here.

    There is more to this peice than rashing on girls telling them to bazz off.

    @lexash hope you`re fine bros?
    I`ve heard that if someone is deeply sad or emotionally down! these 5. things usually work like magic.

    1.Cry. When you feel deeply sad, crying works
    beautifully

    2.Punch. If you feel very angry, you may feel the desire to hit something. pls i must warm you don`t heat ur girl oo just any life less object will be fine.

    3.Write. Writing can help to clear the overwhelm of information in your head. It allows a pouring out of what is going on inside. Once you’ve written all you can, some things will still stand out or certain feelings may still be felt strongly.

    4.Exercise. Some of your most frustrating days in your life may turn out to be your best days in the gym.

    5.Create Art. What better to do than to channel this energy into creating something beautiful?

    keep writing.

  15. lol! Lexash…you like trouble oh!

    You no know say na topic like this dey cause katakata among the sexes?

    See as this place don turn to war room…hahaha!

  16. Your piece has good substance, but your presentation is kind of haphazard and points not properly arranged.
    I don’t see you as trying to disrespect women by this, I believe you are trying to make a literary presentation and the feminine gender happens to be a ready medium for you to make that presentation right now,but I think you have not made a good enough job with that presentation.

  17. *Walking by*

  18. I hope u r married alredi sha…

  19. @lexash…make me sef con tackle you.

    First, language…language is a very powerful tool which when not carefully used, could provoke a war (See the war wey yhu don cause for here now). You could have passed your message as clearly as you did here and no voices will be raised.

    Now to the message…

    You dey talk about women wahala abi? Wait first, if your babe come your house in ‘kiko'(thread), you no go deny am? If we ask you the kind woman wey yhu wan marry now, you go begin use big words describe am. Yet you dey castigate. You dey complain now say we dey frustrate men. Yet if we say we know wan marry, una go say we be feminists(there are different types sha o). About the children, y e be say na woman must stay house raise pikin? Na only the woman do am? Everybody wan marry educated woman but wetin be the use of that education when na only our pikin we go use am affect? Education na to purge the mind; to enable a thinking generation and growth of ideas. Why should those ideas be restricted to the benefit of our children alone? Is it wrong to want to contribute to society? Where men are gathered, they exhibit their natural habits. But when women are also gathered there, pride comes in and the ‘manly’ ego comes to play. Their territorial instinct gets unleashed. Do women force this out of men too with our ‘stupid excuses’?

    I’d say you forget that today’s girl is tomorrow’s woman and the woman makes the society. Yes, we have our flaws but that does not mean that we do not have our strengths. Surprisingly, those strengths are embedded in our ‘weaknesses’.

    My opinion.

    1. @queenzayta…you are sooooo on point. Abeg help me ask him oh. These are those who castigate ladies but yet can’t take their eyes off a lady who knows how to take care of herself. Dude, you clearly have much more problem than this; maybe your galfriend suddenly jilted you (lol) and you’re dumping your rants on naijastories.

      I go like see the kind village agbonma you will marry, hope you have relocated to the village cos that’s where you’ll find your kinda choice. And you said leave the brothers alone…i think it should be the other way round.

      1. Correct ooo!!!!! I didn’t know guys like this still existed in today’s world

  20. That’s the way it is.

  21. My God, this was one of the most infuriating pieces I have ever had the misfortune of setting my eyes on. As I was reading, I was still expecting a climax, a “BUT” and I never saw it. I started scanning the post for a “Nevertheless” or something to at least contradict the original stance. I am extremely disgusted. This is a jumble of words, a blend of male chauvinism and misogyny and to think that this was grouped under “Funny” posts is beyond me. @ Lexash, you really should have a changed mindset, I mean with the prevalence of the media and technology, you would only think that such ramblings would be stowed away in backward areas. I truly am disappointed and I apologize if you might take umbrage at my lashings but it is the unvarnished truth. smh @ this post

    1. Ibiso, my dear. I am sorry you see it that way. But take it as just an article. I wrote it, and meant no harm. Agreed, some or most of it are true, it is still just a literary piece, intended to generate controversy, not for anyone to take it personally, or attack the writer. The but is there, and just as females have their problems, the males do too. God created us a certain way, and each specie has its obvious excesses. I was expecting a literal counter-attack, a -my guy problem- sort of, more like a way of creating a virtual comic battle of the sexes. Don’t read too much meaning to it. If you met me personally, you wouldn’t believe i would write such a thing, because i do love women, and my mindset about you in general is the fact that all the things contained here are what make men attracted to you. well, most of it.

  22. If i didn’t know you Lex, I’d be tempted to think that you are a myopic chauvinistic idiot, but, I do know you, so I can only conclude that the message was lost in transit. You did raise a few good points on equality but, your ‘conclusion’ (if one can term it such) leaves much to be desired. Also, the craze for materials is not limited to females. Buying status symbols is not restricted to any gender and at the end of the day that is what most of the products you listed are; status symbols.
    In my opinion, all gender role is a myth perpetuated by men and women who find it difficult to live their lives by themselves. Instead of slaving to such myth and labels, everyone should define themselves as who and what they are, not letting society decide it for them.
    P.S – How’s your IT going?

  23. Just found this, and I no longer hold these views.

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