Medical School

Medical School

From Amoebas and chloroplasts
To nucleated erythroblasts.
I always linked old ships with masts,
Mast cells have made me recast.
Rulers, rockets, rheostats,
Thank God that’s all in the past.
I would yawn as time strolled past,
Now it’s running very fast.
Have you seen my day’s forecast?
Class to class, then back to class.
My class cannot be outclassed:
From the first guy to the last
Bureaucrats and Diplomats,
Quintessential Plutocrats
Geeks & Wizards, Fat & Phat
Geese & Gizzards, ratty Brats.
Pastors, Members, Counterparts,
Photostatting copycats.
Then, when results are broadcast,
Mehn, come and see acrobats.
‘Cos no feeling can outlast
Your joy, knowing you have passed.
So much joy, but in contrast
Many skies are overcast,
For among the enthusiasts
There are those who haven’t passed.
I once thought all docs had hearts,
But now I am very smart.
And it goes far beyond that:
My brain has been torn apart.
Renin? Rennin? This or that?
Who knows glucose glucostat?
ALT ain’t alternate.
CAT is not after a rat.
FISH is not part of breakfast,
PDA is in the heart.
Hippocrates where you at?
We need to have some chitchat.
‘Cos in that oath that we chant
Some lines are irrelevant;
You should see machines we gat
They are more than works of art.
First the kidneys, then the heart,
Now it’s bone marrow transplant.
I was a genius, so brilliant,
Now I look so ignorant.
Surgery was done by humans,
Now robots have other plans.
The future is so pregnant,
Time is never hesitant.
Soon the scalpel will depart,
Stitches insignificant,
Foetuses will choose their looks,
We’ll do surgery on Facebook

35 thoughts on “Medical School” by Zazu (@literati)

  1. Hmmmm. This felt more like the lyrics of a rap song. Nice rhymes.

    1. Well…its not a rap…till you rap it… Thanks!

    2. I so agree with u @gooseberry….I think I actually rapped it hehehe

  2. Beautifully outstanding. I can totally relate.

    1. Respect to you too. You can totally relate? how? @kaycee

      1. i relate 2. medico in d making

  3. Zuaz..Na U biko jare…’We ll soon do surgery on Facebook!’..
    Truly truly I gbadun ur poems.. Unserious yet serious..Well done..

    1. Thanks @sibbylwhyte. Unseriously serious? na serious play be that o. Thanks a whole lot. really appreciate d gbadun

  4. Medicine is definitely changing, but those guys are one of the most stubborn and resistant to new stuff.

    We shall see about surgery on Facebook, lol..

    1. Ah Ah, which guys? @Myne? Am I stubborn and resistant to new stuff? haba
      Thanks a lot though

      1. You’re still in medical school. I meant doctors, especially the older ones in Associations and Unions. I worked with them in passing a new policy and they were so stubborn.

        1. So glad to be far past the years of ‘rulers rockets and rheostats’.

          @Myne I totally agree that our old docs with all the unionism and association can be difficult,and resistant to change. BUT we are changing all that…time for positive changes.

          1. @tamie u don turn old doc just now? Lolz, yes, we are changin it! We’l write d new textbooks in rhyme! Who’s wit me?

  5. Medicine is so damn difficult! I respect those medical guys when I was in school. They read all the time. Even during the breaks.
    I like this poem, lets go do surgery on facebook.

    1. @layrite Medicine is not so difficult o. It’s demanding, requires a lot of investment, but we don;t read ‘all the time’…
      Thanks for the like!

  6. Compadre…you no dey disappoint. Respect!

  7. ‘Foetuses will choose their looks’ lol. Nice

    1. Yh, they will…very soon. Thanks!@fyngal

  8. ‘surgery on facebook.’ Lol! It’s started already. Well done!

    1. Thank you @francis. It has started o

  9. doctor, i hail o. i go nid dis ur poem 2 bcme a LEGEND OF ST. LUTH

    1. you said you want to do what? Pls go ahead o!
      Just obey the copyright laws sha…as per attribution/ref

  10. That last line got me reeling…for real. Kai!

  11. I can bring Hippocrates back
    But then he would just be a quack.

  12. True, that closing couplet was ingenious. Nice one, Mr Zazu. (As a Biochemistry major, I would assume ALT is the enzyme alanine aminotransferase…??? Am I correct? Or does it mean something else for doctors?)

    1. you’re right, and apologies to everyone for d jargon.
      ALT=ALanine Transferase (liver enzyme), not alternate
      CAT=Computerized Axial Tomography (now called Computed Tomography or CT, a radiologic diagnostic tool), not the feline creatures
      FISH=Flourescent In-Situ Hybridization, an inedible diagnostic tool too
      PDA=Patent Ductus Arteriosus, a heart condition (kinda hole in the heart), not a Personal Digital Assistant.
      Thanks @guywriterer

  13. surgery on FB not a bad idea

    nice one doc.

  14. “photostatting copycats” – LMAO

    Nice, nice *duffing hat*

    1. Thanks…*taking a bow* @teewah

  15. Yh yh, I could say women are one of the most this or that cos I’v worked with some, but I’l be committin d fallacy of hasty generalization…
    Those ppl weren’t recalcitrant because they were doctors, thats just who they were: stubborn ppl.
    …don’t mind me o, I’m sure u mean no harm…

  16. You are a talented poet…one after my heart. And this work is great.

    Keep improving.

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