Intimate Violence

Love is a freak; worse still to love and be loved by a freak.  Yes, love is an emotion of immense joy yet great sorrow.

True love is not real, unless you pretend. It sweeps people off their feet with the proverbial broom. Oblivious to them is that true love is a bubblegum myth that has sold millions of big screen movies, novels and songs; and exists only on the mind of the poor deluded soul.

It is still a mystery how we claim to love yet we actually hate with equal measure. Is it love to turn on those whom we love, assault and abuse them?

It is not wise to permanently chain two hostile souls together yet this seems to be the mission of the clergy. They send many happy-clappy dudettes and bachelorettes, who value the wedding day more than the marriage itself, into the arms of till-death-do-us-part (of course after signing the pre-nup) husband – who batters them daily – with the biblical admonition to stay together no matter what because God frowns on divorce.

The much anticipated honeymoon is spoilt by the blues that set in pronto the grand reception at Love Gardens is over. When he coughs she trembles and nods yes to everything he says because she has ‘to be within the bounds of duty.’

A year into the marriage and the battering (to instil discipline) is unbearable. What starts as a simple altercation mushrooms to a real fight blowing out of hand. The rabble rouser hubby picks up fight with her in front of everybody, thanks to spectating relatives and neighbours; controls her every move and yes, has her life in his hands.

Several years and tragic stories abound – from spouses killing each other in the middle of the night to marital-related-suicides. Well, intimate partner violence has made headlines world over.

When she wants out he appears at the divorce court with lawyers full of law-school-jargon in tow, cry crocodile quarts saying it was his fault she was leaving. For the sake of the kids – and hopefully saving the already dead marriage – the judge cuffs them together, a lifetime of violence from true love. She would look as if she were a character from the film The Exorcist like Lissette Ochoa.

Such violence from partners is a leading cause of morbidity and mortality in women. You need to look at the once beautiful belle who shone the world with her beauty – she is a bag of fractures, contused and lacerated body full of obstetric complications and other chronic syndromes.

Funny, isn’t it, after all the violence she still thinks that her abusive husband is her one and only true love; he is a shrewmouse worth sticking with because she has no place else to go. She expresses optimism about a change in futility. Yeah, hubby might be trouble, violent and abusive; but he is loving and caring like she cannot believe. Above all, he is crazy about her (pun intended).

Why on earth go to Beijing, declare how they (women) are abused on a platform of acts and shame with more than 112 people in attendance yet stay in where they are abused? When pollster Infotrak reveals that 39% (and on an upward spiral) of women in any population are physically or sexually assaulted by their husbands or partners during their lifetime it is a concern. Where has love gone?

Love is the mutual gratification of body and mind. Many a time it is the mortification of body, mind and soul thence comes the need to walk out on true love because that is not all what a woman needs.

One of the best indicators of true love’s will to implement their commitments and achieve shared goals is the way in which they treat each other, respect, protect and promote the security of their enduring love in a loving, friendly environment – and live happily without violence.


Copyright ©Elove Poetry, 2012.

32 thoughts on “Intimate Violence” by elovepoetry (@elovepoetry)

  1. Nice.
    I kinda wonder what makes a person see a fire and walks majestically into the fire, the person gets burnt, instead of leaving, the person prefers to remain there and shout on top their voice to anyone who wants to hear that the fire is hot. To each person his/her own way of love.
    Well done!

    1. Funny, ain’t it? Life is painful, but we have been taught to get used to it, Guess that’s why people stay in abusive relationships/marriages.

  2. This is actually confusing. I get what it’s about; domestic violence – but what is the bottom line of this piece? What am I; the reader, supposed to take away? Is it supposed to make me question the men who batter their women; or the women who marry men who batter them?

    I really don’t get. No offense meant.

    1. Allow me @Seun-Odukoya, but if you ask me I think the message starts in the 3rd to last paragraph, where the question “what true love is”, is then asked, and …

      The writer I think merely shed light on the state of abuse in marriages today…. to then recap it with a reminder of what true love really is, with no voilence involved by respecting and protecting each other(think that’s d part we r meant to take away). Since u didn’t ask me joor, lemme just sharrap now, before I start to say nonsense or confuse u more….

      1. @teewah

        Thank you for taking the time. I am a bit clearer now. Thanks!

      2. @teewah… you have got it. It is about true love

    2. no offense taken, but i suggest you read it again.

  3. Hmm…brilliant and deep.

    This is actually a growing concern nowadays, and I like the way you addressed it.

    “True love is not real, unless you pretend” – Don’t agree, but “It is not wise to permanently chain two hostile souls together yet this seems to be the mission of the clergy” – I totally agree

    Well Done @elovepoetry, I rily enjoyed this piece.

    “Love is a freak; worse still (is) to love and be loved by a freak.” – me thinks

    1. Thanks-o @teewah. I like your views, and your editorial light. Thanks again.

  4. Love for most have been beautiful. That is why it is so popular.

    And yet again, men are portrayed as bastards.

    1. And that’s what many are!

  5. Some women beat their husbands too… I mean kill their husbands. Everyone has a reason for doing what they do.. Just that some reasons are stupid and selfish.

    Nice stuff. I’m starting to wonder why almost all of today’s posts are about love..

    1. Well, about husband batters I am already writing it. Hopes you gonna enjoy it… it’s titled INTIMATE VIOLENCE HIS STORY).

      Today’s posts are about love because love, so far, is the only real thing that sweeps people off their feet with the proverbial broom, and has sold millions of big screen movies and bestseller… that’s why Daniel Steel is a a celeb.

  6. I like the title…Good write up…This kinda stuff makes one wonder where all our better emotions are heading to..If one would beat to near death one they ‘love’, I wonder what happens to someone they hate. It’s the ability to walk away from the fucked situation that counts…Well done elove.

    1. @Bubbllinna… thanks. It’s so ironical.

  7. @elove…beautiful piece,i like

  8. Yes, you have a point. Love is not violence. Violence is not love. No, true love is not false, but most peoples’ conception of it, shaped by unrealistic material, is. If a couple is mutually hostile, what business do they have getting married? How is it the clergy’s fault when they do….nobody ‘sends’ them on this mission, it’s typically voluntary. Christianity doesn’t permit divorce for plainly obvious reasons, but separation isn’t forbidden. If a partner is adjudged to be repeatedly and fiercely abusive, the other partner reserves the right to separate, WITHOUT divorcing. The life-long span of marriage is intended to portray the heavy responsibility that true love demands. It’s not all flowers and moonlight, it requires actual commitment from both parties. If love fails, it didn’t. The partners did.

    1. @Lelouch Lamperouge… I love this… ‘if love fails, it didn’t. The partners did.’ You wouldn’t have been further from the truth. I say nothing more.

  9. Interesting piece and controvercial,,,its too bad that their are more violence in blissful home today,,,
    if unfortunate issues occurs repeatedly abusive & life threatening situation ****WALK AWAY****

    1. Sometimes it gets so hard to walk away
      When everyday
      You think of the craziest things you used to do
      When you were drunk with love
      When everything was your love
      At the honeymoon stage of the relationship!

  10. @elovepoetry, a very sensitive piece you have here,good points too.

    I keep saying how cool love is, because I Know that it is. Love is not an emotion like sadness,joy,anger etc

    Love is a conscious state you choose to surround your being with,hence it’s constant and realistic.@ lelouch
    “if love fails it didn’t, the partners did” says it all. Folks are in love with the idea of being in love.

    Christianity may very well be against divorce,but mankind has become dogmatic is adapting to this teaching.

    The only mediator between man and God is Christ, hence the choice one makes as a Christian in a situation where a life is endangered should be one of the conscience and what it allows.

    I had no idea that the judiciary had such power as to enforce a marriage against anyone wish.does it?

    Thought provoking write up though, one to seriously ponder on.

    1. *dogmatic in adapting*
      *against anyone’s wish, does it?*

    2. @Dotta Raphels Wonderful thought you have there.

      ‘I had no idea that the judiciary had such power as to enforce a marriage against anyone wish.does it?’… NOT IN THAT SENSE… DESPITE THE MUCH WITNESSED VIOLENCE WITNESSED IN THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE MANY PEOPLE ARE WED DAY IN DAY OUT….


      1. Okay, I get it from that angle.! There has to be a balance in life somehow, there are still many marriages built on respect,trust,love and plain old goodness.

        It’s easy to allow the sadness of domestic violence overwhelm all else in the institution of marriage,but we hope that voices in forms of such wonderful messages such as yours never cease to shout,scream,write until man begins to not just hear but listen and do.

        1. @Dotta Raphels…. You have it there, don’t blink!!

  11. Thought provoking piece. I like this piece though I’m not in support of all your opinions but I agree with most of them.

    Thanks for sharing this.

    1. @Ayodeji Lancaster… True, IMHO i think you have got the gist, which is good. Spread the message

  12. Whats the fuss all about? The issue addressed is the one everyone knows about. @elovepoetry nice stuff u’ve gat here.

  13. @elovepoetry
    kind of enthralling
    making my mind salivating
    looking for more words
    notions, concepts and thoughts……..

    1. @innoalifa…. thanks for finding this enthralling….. it’s informative

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