End Times

“PING!!! where are you? you know its my wedding tomorrow right?”

I didn’t reply the message, I knew what she was going to say and I must say the phobia I have for the BBM and that screen muncher thing is hilarious. I don’t disclose even my whereabouts in a chat with friends. Munching chats. they will soon start recording phone calls and feelings…
Anyway, I called her and she starts to tell me again about how she’s getting married because the guy did this, the guy did that but she doesn’t love him and he doesn’t satisfy her blah blah… I said OK no problem but you’re getting married to this same guy flaws and all so he must definitely have some good attributes. she said yes. he’s rich. I laughed my ass off literally cause I toppled over the chair I was sitting in. I consoled her or something. I don’t know, but I said some sooothing words to her and wished her the best then rung off.
This girl and I had been in a back and forth relationship for over four years. We were the definition of “its complicated”  I know she loved me, but her greed got in the way and she became the chairlady of aristo association of Africa. She will go to Dubai, Malaysia, London etc. and bring me back stuff from her “cousin” “uncle” :family friend”… We broke up constantly because of the many falsehoods and dirty behaviour, but there was always something bringing us back together.. Then  at 25 she noticed all of her friends were getting married and it became apparent that I wasn’t planning on settling down any time soon so she got herself a boyfriend and was getting married now.
After we got off the phone she sent me another BBM…  ”I couldn’t say this over the phone. Femi I need to see you desperately”
Well, I called again and asked where she was. She said she was staying at a hotel with her bridesmaids and co. I booked a room in the same hotel and needless to say, I was with the bride to be all night long. I was there when her groom called and professed love, gushing about how happy and lucky he was. I cant even word what I was doing to her when she said he loved him too. Lol! End times people, I tell you!!!
I left early morning and went back home to get ready for the wedding. I’d been invited of course and party rice has always appealed to me. So I called up a few of my guys and we all went together.
Looking at  how serious and solemn she seemed as she took her vows, as she said “I DO” I shook my head in wonderment. Is this how life really is? mehn, home-boy no go marry again O. I  cant imagine standing in front of a babe and promising my whole life not knowing she had just given somebody else a few hours before.
Marriage just scares me now. Trust is a thing of the past. Love is proper bullshit and commitment is a one off. I know if I eventually fall in love enough to want to marry some girl, I”ll treat her in such a way that I’d want to be treated. Give her all I want to receive,and pray she feels the same way I do too.
At the reception, the new wife came to me and said for all to hear “so good to see you again, thanks for coming” In my ear she whispered, “l’ll see you after the honeymoon for a real honeymoon” then she squeezed my arm and walked away to go kiss her husband, still smiling.
Oh Lawwwd!
The end times are here people. The devil is taking over and he started with the women… again.

38 thoughts on “End Times” by Dozemaniac (@jamesndu)

  1. The women do not commit all these crimes of which you seem so determined to blame them for by themselves. You said it yourself;

    ‘I was with the bride to be all night long. I was there when her groom called and professed love, gushing about how happy and lucky he was. I cant even word what I was doing to her when she said he loved him too;” so exactly what are you saying?

    She did not have a gun to your head. Her weapons are exactly the same she had when her name was Eve.

    What am I trying to say? Adam told God, ‘the woman though gavest me’…forgetting that HE choose to eat the apple. No doubt, women are slippery. Their hearts are as deep – deeper than the Atlantic. The caprices they are capable of…BUT THEN, men are just as capable of stuff like that.

    I mean – if you had a conscience…if it occurred to you that she was actually getting married to a man like you the following day (and the gall of you; actually attending the wedding)…if you thought too…that you would like to get married one day, maybe you would have spoken to your ……. louder, more clearly and better. Heh.

    Anyways – to each his own. I just think…we each are responsible for our lives. I don’t blame a certain sex for the misdoings of one. That’s misrepresentation. As there are bad women…so there are bad men…bad gehls….hehehehe…bad boys and so on.

    I think people should just grow and manage their lives better.

    Interesting topic.

    1. Seun, You speak WISDOM. Thanks a lot. :) Do you have anything correction to make on the writing?

  2. @Seun, lol! Why the defence nah? I think It’s just a story placed in the wrong category and the qualities of the MC is apparent.

    @Dozemaniac, you’re new right? I like the story but I noticed some punctuation errors in it and some were missing. But all the same it captures the reality. Keep it up.

  3. The use of exclamation marks was over the top in this small piece, and I would have liked to read more of what the guy was thinking in such a complicated scenario than just blithely listing the events and blaming women. Did he not care for this girl at all?

  4. @jamesndu.
    I totally agree with you.
    I can’t count the number of times girls hav cheated on their partners with me. I swear, it has never been my fault. Don’t think its just me, ask every guy out there.

    I will get married, but I will have to forget everything I know about women. Women are terrible!

    ThankGod I found a virgin.
    I no trust am finish sha

    1. kayceeeeeeee! I don talk am before, i go talk am again: you are one drunk clown. hahahahahahahaha. @kaycee.

    2. Thanks Kaycee… :)

  5. Alright.
    I think the fault is from you guys too. I mean, how do you f**k a lady senseless and expect her to forget you just like that, or not to cheat on her partner, especially if her partner isn’t as *bad* as you? Mind you, emotional stuffs stick longer with us than you can imagine. End time is for all of us.

    Then to your writing; Words after fullstop should start with capital letter. You forgot your commas some places. But your sentences were okay.


    1. heheheheheheheehehe. f**k senseless, you say? hahahahahahahaha. @babyada, you try. on point baby, really on point!

    2. Eletrika… hian!!! *lips sealed*

  6. @kaycee, thank GOD you have a virgin, can I meet her please.

    Do unto others as you wish them do unto you.

    I can’t really blame any of them, really. One way or the other, this kind of experience do happen everyday unless the lady/man is not the outgoing type.

    I have a friend who had to break up with his girlfriend because her parents were against their relationship reason being that he’s a muslim. Well she got married to her old boyfriend who is a christian but she’s always with my friend. (they both loved eachother back then and it was difficult for her to let go, while he gave in to lots of her advances) she sure know his weak points. Meanwhile his wife knows her but will never believe they still have something going.

  7. @JamesNdu, I enjoyed the story very much. I liked the way you showed the conflict between who the bride’s mind told her she should be with (her groom) and who her body told her she should be with (the MC). I’m not sure who her heart is with, though; maybe that’s the problem with living that kind of life.

    1. Thank you very much Tola.

  8. First off, the categories are for real right?..Good..

    What goes around comes around, so they say..You proudly f**k another man’s wife and attend their wedding..Now you blame your actions on the female?…That’s just cowardice..
    If U catch ur wife with someone else, you had better overlook it..

    And this is for the dudes that think with their downstairs brain…
    The errors have been pointed out, pay heed to them.

    1. @sibbylwhyte.
      Thinking with the downstairs brain aint too bad. I swear, the pleasure is exquisite.
      @banky, you agree?

      1. @kaycee, na so my brother. Orgasmic delirium, provided by that third appendage in collaboration with d famous feminine crevice, has not been matched, even by my beloved Manchester United or the green bottles! hehehehehehe

        @sibbylwhyte, go joor! o npeke!

        1. LMFAOTR my kidney. UP MAN U sha

  9. End times you say…its been here for a long time

  10. @seun said wat I was going to say.
    @kaycee I hope the plenty variety before now does not make the soup seem bland.

    You switched tenses in some places @dozemaniac.

  11. @banky and @kaycee…Y’all should go see the movie ‘Teeth’ and pray it’s not for realz…You wouldna be so Keen on an orgasmic delirium by the fusion of the 3rd appendage and crevice…Silly crazy boys abi na men.

  12. Oga @kaycee so u got a virgin abi?when I wrote Adeola’s virginity,ur tots were clear if they exist.**** Anyways, @dozie ur head they dier.well well.They av said all in relation to d structure.I bet you,if u continue on dis path,you go BE!
    This discourse will definitely culminate to interesting submissions in d oñgoing spice contest.

  13. End time things…blame it on both parties.

  14. @jamesndu First I’d like to say that i really liked this piece. Your style was laid back and easy going, your characters were very believable, and your concluding line was….sweet!
    That aside,I dont think the title matched the subject matter. Something like “Sleping with his wife” or “When she pings me” oBeautiful betrayal

    1. would have been better. deceit is no new thing. so endtimes wasnt too apt.
      Good job though. keep it coming

  15. Congratulations to you buddy. You screwed her on her wedding eve and you gonna tighten the screws after the honey drips from the moon. Wow!! You the manest man.

    I hope you father her children while the other dude pays their bills till they are grown…. Then when she’s caught, she’ll bare the cross alone. Isn’t that what women were made for??? Just enjoy yourself hommie and make sure you don’t get married…

    I like the story anyway aside the fact that its sooo biased.

      1. Don’t be sad baby. Be proud of your actions afterall, you open eye do am… Just don’t do it again. Like, the Mc shouldn’t do it again.

  16. I don’t blame you for your view against women, we can be quite terrible sometimes but you are to blame as well. You are a grown man that should know right from wrong, Nothing exonerates you from what you have done. No matter how manipulating a woman is, there are men that have resisted such manipulations; that you fell is no excuse…Please stay off someone’s wife and if she insists on falling, allow her to but not with you; after all it takes two to tango. i also think you need closure so you won’t take the hurt into your next relationship.
    You might actually think you have dealt her a terrible blow but i think part of you is hurting that she called it quits and didn’t want to wait for you

  17. I love your story but like others has pointed out, it’s really bias……..

    Putting all the blame on the woman; whereas the man is the captain and the pilot of such act.

    If a woman is seductive can’t you tie your thing upstairs? Not to even mention how u went to her hotel because your mind has already been made up to do such thing.

    To man, tie your thing up if you cant control it, better still just cut it off, if it can’t be tied!!!!!!

    To the woman, Yoruba adage says “ti idi ba bájè to nidi lo un ma n da” which means “if your bottom/womanhood spoilt, you have yourself to blame and it can’t be exchange”. Sorry to say, the whole loads fall back on your head…

  18. Hmmn. I feel sooo sorry for the victims (i.e the bride and “smart guy”), cos what you sow, you reap.

  19. all comments said and heard, the MC is as culpable as d female….end of story. Dat sin kept us where we are today..i am not talking of people who tell us our first parents ate mangoes and apricots…fairly worded escapade

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