Addicts Anonymous

Addicts Anonymous

My back is arched, phone in my hand
The text is small, so’s my keypad
The keys are bad, but not too bad
And my fingers are typing hard!
I’ve been online since 4am
My battery’s low, but no problem
I’ve been pinging pinging away
I think it will be a great day
On BBM, 2go, FB,…
Aren’t they wonderful? Maybe.

…It’s nearly 8, I’m going offline
These things are consuming my time
Let me bathe and eat and dress up
Before my morning gets messed up
I’m going, but just one moment
To post only a few comments
And like a few more statuses.
New message, now let me read this,
This guy must be really funny
I’ll inbox him, funny bunny,
Then I’ll – Oh, my phone is ringing
BB friends have started pinging…

…It’s 9:30, God I’m finished!
Social networking is rubbish
I’m closing my Facebook account
And giving my Blackberry out!

…The sun is high, and so am I
I’m feeling like a butterfly
No more browsing, I’m done with it
My real friends should appreciate it…
“Beep!” Hey, what’s that? Must be 2go
How did it come on? I don’t know
Oh- wait, it’s not, my battery’s low
But I charged it an hour ago
Why doesn’t this my battery last
Let me Google it very fast
And while I’m at it I’ll Facebook
Not browsing, just taking a look
I have 6 notifications
5 requests, 3 invitations
2 events, I’ll attend them both
I was tagged in Uzuazo’s note
One message from that group I hate
I’ll just post a status update
Then I’m offline, no more chatting
I must go and do other things
1hr later I’m back online
This profile picture is not fine
In fact Facebook is now boring
Haven’t been on 2go since morning
But I said no browsing, what’s up
Ok, after this one I’ll stop
And so the cycle continues
Each day I pay my online dues
My dreams at night, my waking thoughts
Are all about social networks
Some have used these things to bless lives
Some need them to remain alive
I’m not addicted, so I say
And think and hope and wish and pray
Well, maybe I really need help
Somebody tell me the right step
But remember, he without sin
Should be the only one talking
I don’t think all these things are bad
It’s addiction that makes me sad
Lord, help me to stop this abuse
And put these things to proper use.

43 thoughts on “Addicts Anonymous” by Zazu (@literati)

  1. I like it – the message resonates loudly.

    I have issues with the structure though. I feel the stanzas should have been more clearly defined…and then it’s not as exciting as it could be.

    Well done though.

    1. K. thanks. I’l work on stanzas…and excitability

  2. This was fun – for me.

    I like…and God help your addiction – Amen!

    1. Amen o. God help OUR addiction. Thank u!

  3. My addiction never reach that stage….I think. Your message is clear-cut, I like.

    Heaven help me…but then, I have to help myself.

    1. Thank u @queenzayta. Only God can help us…

  4. Interesting and fun as usual. It’s a situation several people can identify with.
    @literati, good job.

  5. omo na so e dey do me sef o! u no add naijastories?

    1. Everybody get in own addiction. u fit add NS…thanks a lot for stopping by

  6. I rather be addicted to internet than…

  7. Nice one with a theme almost everyone that isn’t my grandpa’s age can identify with…Well done Zuaz..
    It would read better with stanzas though..

  8. Lol. Carry go jare. Nothing do you. Its cool to communicate o and you old enough to train your addiction to become normal.

  9. Lol. Carry go jare. Nothing do you. Its cool to communicate o and you old enough to train your addiction to become normal.

  10. Zazu as always. I’m getting familiar with your style. Message received.

    1. Thank u @jonnysnow. Message delivered.

  11. I like this! My ?? must see this. Addiction to anything is not only bad but dangerous.

    1. Your what must see it? some ppl say not every addiction is a bad thing, but I agree wit you @layrite.
      And thanks for the like

  12. I feel you. Where can I sign up?

    1. Ah ah @Myne? you too? Inbox me…

  13. I can relate to this lol,,,okay may God help you,,no me humm all of us, Amen.

    1. The first step to solving an addiction problem is insight. If u feel you’r not sick, you won’t seek a doctor.
      Thanks @iykewifey

  14. This is d era of networking whether social or spiritual.What is painful however, it is stealing our precious time.The time we are supposed to invest in building our personalities are going down d drains of social networking tht years to come will suffer for.God help us.

    1. Indeed God help us, not to stop, but to use social networking well.
      “Some have used these things to bless lives
      “Some need them to remain alive”

  15. @Literati, this was hilarious!

    Make sure that you:
    – Tweet about this post;
    – Put up a post on Facebook saying you posted this;
    – Blog about this;
    – Send a BB ping to your friends letting them know you posted this;
    – Send a tweet letting everyone know that you have made a Facebook post about this;
    – Blog about sending a tweet to all your Facebook friends about this;
    And so on, and so forth.

    You seem to be aiming for meter, but I don’t think it’s as well-metered as it could be; for example:

    The keys are bad, but not too bad
    And my fingers are typing hard!

    Now if I was to read that so that if flowed (with emphasis in capitals):

    The KEYS are BAD, but NOT TOO BAD
    And MY finGERS are TYPING HARD!

    Well, finGERS sounds funny (should be FINgers), but it has to read that way if it has to go well with “are BAD” in the first line.

    Maybe “my FINgers SURE are TYPING HARD” would sound better.

    (This is hard to explain without sound, so please don’t worry too much if it doesn’t make sense.)

    1. Thanks a lot @TolaO, a whole lot! Of course I understand. At the time I wrote this (2 yrs ago) I had no idea what metres and feet were,I just rhymed, but I’ve actually given lessons on it between then and now…
      About sharing this poem, I think I’v done most of what you suggested…its now your turn…

  16. Lol. FB don do me abeg; people want make I come enter BBM and 2go…God no go gree. Amen.
    U try.

    1. I know what you mean bro, except I think I’m falling for the temptation…keep holding on to just fb, Amen. LOL.

    2. pls stick wit fb o, don’t add another one

  17. Not bad with a clear message.Could do with better structuring though.

    Well done!!!

  18. I also like this, playful and true, very…not saying I’m an addict or anything…else :)

    1. oh…k @lelouch, so wat r u sayin?

      1. @literati: Just that I often do what the social networking addicts do…purely for the educational experience, not that I enjoy it or am secretly one myself…lol.

  19. So true…who knows, perhaps soon they will invent a vaccine for WI-FI SYNDROME.

    Little secret though, ;You see say na allofus get d disease.

    1. @dottaraphels thanks…but this one is not vaccine-preventable o! D vaccine will even induce the syndrome…
      And yes, na allofus get am

  20. Oh am guilty guilty as charged! And you know that zaz.

    1. Twinkles @tamie, I kno say ur own pass. If I begin to list eh, space will finish o! Afterall na u make me write this poem…for real (thats2now)

      1. ℓ☺ℓ you no serious. When am grey and old I’ll write something for you.

  21. My thumbs are hurting!

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