This is Awkward, I know

This is Awkward, I know

I’ve never written one of these before, so I guess I’ll just give it a shot and see what happens:

 

I work at a privately owned Geographical Information System firm, which has absolutely no relevance to the Computer Information System I spent four years of my Life reading in the University; thinking I would be employed by an I.T firm that would pay me a whole lot of money and other quirks attached to working in a big firm.

Anyways I work in the I.T department, and to say the truth,  its fun working in the I.T department cause we do almost nothing for days on end, and suddenly we would be working our asses off for weeks trying to meet up to a deadline. When I said I.T department, the whole department comprises Me, Myself and I,  so when I say it is fun, I guess that means I have a whole lot of time to watch movies, surf the web, tweet…………… (I do a whole lot of that) and download softwares.

I got to the Office one morning after an unusually heavy breakfast to find out that My boss had apportioned a lot of work to my desk; I faithfully sat at my desk to embark on the day’s activities when suddenly I heard a rumbling sound “turum turum”, I looked furtively around to be sure I was the only one that heard it and I continued with my work, ignoring the sound. Ten minutes later I felt some flatulence building up in my stomach, and as I re-positioned myself to let go a “silent killer” , I felt that wetness that would only be accompanied by peppery, watery, and very loud shit. I quickly stood up and rushed to our restroom, I got to the door before I realized I didn’t pick the key. I quickly held on to the wall for support as the urge to shit myself increased, why is it that when you’re on your way to the rest room, the urge multiplies exponentially?.

Anyways I dashed back and grabbed the keys from the secretary’s table and rushed inside the rest room, just pulling my trousers half way down to “do my thing” (Thank God I was not wearing my carrot jeans). It was after the first round left my being that I noticed I left the toilet door open, and the toilet is designed such that as you come in, the wash hand basins are on the right, and the toilets proper is to the left with doors for privacy, it was this toilet door that I left open.

By this time I was half relieved already and the rivulets of sweat previously  running down my face had reduced, I half stood and pushed the door, but not with all of my strength because I could feel another round coming down so I quickly sat and flinched a bit while it was flushed out of my being.

Unknown to me while I was laboring in the toilet, the company secretary who was some weeks pregnant apparently felt irritated, so she had to come use the toilet, the wash basins precisely. Immediately I heard the clickety clack of her heels I panicked and lunged for the door, forgetting that my trouser was halfway down and landed in very “un-gentlemanly” manner on the concrete floor of our toilet, half naked, shit stuck to my bum and looking the complete fool.

The secretary came in while I was still scrambling to either pull up my trousers to cover a very dirty bum or fake a convulsion and lie still, or just do something that would save me from this embarrassing situation; one look at me and she couldn’t help but burst out laughing and in the process throwing up all over the place, my trousers and bottom region inclusive.

Meanwhile a colleague saw the secretary as she rushed out, so she quickly round up what she was doing to come and render assistance to her; “Deke are you alright now?” was the last thing she said before she rushed in and saw the scene, my pitiful self on the floor now siting against the wall covered in shit and sputum, “deke” on the other hand was leaning against the wash hand basin, apologizing profusely.

I summoned up courage and stood up, not minding that my manhood was displayed in its full glory and left the two of them to enter the toilet and finish up my business.

 

P.S This really did happen. Don’t know the right title to give to it, so have a go at it after reading through.



23 thoughts on “This is Awkward, I know” by tolu oke (@teekellz)

  1. Eeeeeeew!!!!
    What???
    I am so embarrassed for you.
    Nice writing too

    1. Sucks………. I know right………
      Thanks sire

  2. Ω☺† bad. Nice try

  3. ‘YOUR MANHOOD WAS DISPLACED IN ALL ITS GLORY?!!!!

    LMAOOOOOOO!!!!

    Nothing could have been more embarassing!

    I so feel for you!

    I wan laugh die!

    Noticed these errors sha;
    …and in the process throwing (threw) up all over the place.
    ‘she quickly round(ed) up…’

    Nice work man!

    1. eeeyaaa,, kpere ooo

      enjoyed, the narrative structure up to the end!

      1. am refering to the poster…lol.. evidence of newbie trying to get use to navigators…lol.

    2. Thank you @babyada, though it wasn’t funny when it happened……………. *Eagle eye*
      @iykewifey thanks very much :-D dat wasn’t me though……. the poster was @admin

  4. Ewwwwwwwwwww!disgusting…i don’t envy u at all ooo.I like d way u write….abt a suitable title…maybe AWKWARD OFFICE MOMENTS will help.

    1. @obionyinye “Awkward Office Moments”?? I dn’t expect such to happen again though…… God Forbid it!!! But thanks though.

  5. Hehehe…How did you live through the day?..It’s kinda better that women caught you in this state..If it was one of your homeboys, you probably wouldn’t live to tell the story cos they would have mocked you to death…
    Onyinye’s title is apt…Well written.

    1. I survived o @sibbylwhite, thankfully we were all matured enough to shrug it off as one of those things…………….. But I’m pretty sure they’ll have a good laugh behind my back X_X……………………..

  6. I can’t imagine your embarrassment… I guess you’d felt like flushing yourself into the toilet as well.
    Though I noticed an omission of a comma somewhere, I must say you wrote it quite well considering what feeling writing this would have given you.
    Kpele…Ndo.

    1. Flushing myself into the toilet is an understatement, really…………………..
      Thanks

  7. Sowei dear. What an embarrassing experience. Very unfortunate. How did you finally clean up the mess? I have purged before so I’m feeling your pains…

    But ehn, its funny sha. Permit me to laugh;
    Hahahahahahahaha.

    I like the way you wrote it. I think I like the tittle you gave it. It is cool for me.

    1. I finished up and just entered the office with a very straight face, it was even the lady that called the cleaners to clean up the place.
      The title is cool yeah?? Issok ooo
      Laugh nah…. Ur own day too will come. hehehehehehehehe

  8. Yeah, me too- I mean I love the title. Unique…

  9. Ths title is cool…Fits the story very well…and about ur toilet affairs>>>na experience jare!!…happy 4 u

  10. I would have appreciated this post better if I wasn’t eating when I read this line “I felt that wetness that would only be accompanied by peppery, watery, and very loud shit”. yuk.

    1. @seyi987yahoo sorry man…….. lwkmd!!!!

  11. pele o…. lmao!

    1. @Teewah thank you ooo :-(

Leave a Reply