She made love to a ghost……

She made love to a ghost……

She’d never seen an owl before, but had been told that the day she saw one would be her last as a living being.

She hissed and stared at the creature, “Foolish wives tales!”

“I’m staring at it now and I feel fine!”she screamed into the night air.

What was an owl doing in her neighbourhood anyhow? Perhaps she should have been a little more sceptical, but whoever made the threat obviously didn’t count on how stubborn she was.

Adanma whistled as she leapt over the deep gutter, leading to her house.

Another thing she’d been warned not to do…whistle at night…

She made her way through the narrow path and through Mama Uche’s canteen, to the back door of her house.

Surely her parents would have passed out from their usual night beers, she said as she snuck into her bedroom.

“Ah!”She sighed.

Finally she could savour the moments she’d shared with Ugonna.

So many people thought she was naive, that she didnt know anything about men.

“Ptchew!”She hissed out loud and spat into the tin cup in her room.

Well she hadn’t! Until Cousin ‘Wanchuckwu taught her a thing or two.

She quickly shook the thought out.

On a night as delicious as this, the last thing she wanted to remember was her sweaty, smelly cousin, banging on top of her.

Ugonna was different.

He was tall, light skinned and had a powdery effect to his skin, that Adanma just adored.

Adam had taken her behind the banana tree and kissed her.

It was though Amadioha, himself was tickling her with lightening bolts!

“Chai” Adanma exclaimed as she wrapped her cloth, tighter, around her waist.

“Ugonna!” she giggled to herself.

He’d tickled her and whispered things in Igbo she didn’t know the language could describe.

Adanma held her head in her hands.

He’s come prepared with a mat and even a pillow.

As he touched her here and touched her there, Oh Adanma thought she had died and was with the gods.

Ok, maybe not with the gods, they were old, dirty, smelly men; she shuddered at the thought.

Ugonna laid her on the mat and…

“Adanma?!”

She turned around, certain that she had locked the door behind her.

She quickly checked, shaking the bolt, to be sure.

It was locked.

Adanma frowned and looked out the window, but none of the pesky neighbourhood children where there.

It was far too late for them to be awake.

She shrugged it off.

Adanma picked up her comb and pins and stood before the mirror.

Ugonna had run his fingers through her long hair.

She picked up the comb and out of habit began to pin her hair up.

Holding up the last pin, she looked into the mirror and screamed.

She peered further, hoping that by leaning closer to the mirror, the image would change.

As she did, a soft whisper came from behind her…. “Adanma….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



32 thoughts on “She made love to a ghost……” by Mobola (@mobola)

  1. What will i say… dunno!!

  2. I should pity her…but its an experience jare…or would be an experience…not sure which

  3. The story was incomplete, sort of. Maybe you made it that way to create an effect, but I didn’t feel anything. It would probably have done so if the description was tighter.

    ‘Nwachukwu’ not ‘Wanchukwu’ Lol!

    Not bad at all.

    1. Thanks…..I was experimenting……but i got spooked! lol

  4. I guess this should be the first part of your story ‘cos it seems incomplete. Your title was presumptuous; it kind of told the whole story even before I read the first line. Also, there is nothing in the story to connect Ugonna with a ‘ghost’ and the ‘thing’ she saw in the mirror wasn’t described.
    Also noticed this – “She quickly shook the thought *out” (‘off’ is more appropriate)
    However, I enjoyed the ‘local’ portrayal of love trysts in a village setting and the way you presented it. Well done

    1. My thots exactly!

    2. Thanks
      I was kinda experimenting! I dont like writing stories like this, cus my mind is crazy imaginative, n if im not careful, i end up over visualizing the characters till I can see them, I know it sounds weird!!
      I started the story and then I got spooked! n just left it!

      1. @mobola….feeling weird never hurts

        1. lol, yeaaa sure, when I start hallucinating you wouldnt be there! lol!

  5. It was (as) though Amadioha,
    Honestly, structuring was a major problem for me…which format of writing fiction is this?

  6. Funny enough I enjoyed this and felt it was complete…maybe because you categorized it as flash (which was the right thing to do). And boy! I saw some very creative lines in this story!

    Nice one bro!

  7. You left a lot of information out but I think the setting is very good. Your language is also compelling. I would like to see a sequel. From the title I can make my deductions on what the story is about. I would however like to know your version. Perhaps more information about the girl and her ghost lover.

  8. I liked the way you described Ada’s tryst with Ugonna, but like @petunia007, the story felt incomplete to me.

  9. When you finally get around to it, you would make one hell of a good story writer.
    You are good, you will be so much better.

  10. This felt incomplete to me but well, if you decide that it’s okay or if you are afraid that the ghost just might come by…Your title seems
    to suggest same.
    At some point, the name, ‘Adam’ sneaks in…Then at some areas, the girl is Adanma, at others Adamma… Hmm. Which one? :)
    I enjoyed the story anyways but think that it needs better structuring… and some continuation. Well done Sir…you have truly done well. S’

  11. Mobola is a lady jare…but then it’s kinda funny that some people think she’s got ba££$…

    The title told the story but I like the way You tell it..And the portrayal of the tryst is cool…

    Waiting for the next part..

    1. Please Help me tell them oh! I’ve get so scared whenever people leave comments and say bro, do I write like a guy?
      You want another part, i was just messing around with this, but i could continue, if you want!

      1. I only found out THIS MORNING that you are female.

        Something about the way you…

        Umm. Issokay tho.

      2. So sorry about using “Bro”. It is inexcusable.

        1. Its all good, I dont now if its a compliment or not! Lol, a LOT of ppl think I’m a guy by my writings…

  12. I like this story.I flash fiction is a short distant runner.One xtics of it is d element of surprise.I THINK YOU DID JUSTICE TO THAT.I have read published flash fiction,I must say yours is superb,fantastique originale!

  13. I agree with @elektrika, i didn’t feel anything, and I love reading stories like this. I even finished this one. Everything was cool about the story, the love making, I love when u said it was like amadioha tickled her with lightening bolts, but it was missing something, like it was just a random scattered piece, you get.

  14. The story opens with a defiant woman caring less about what people say. The ending part closing with a soft whisper begs for questioning. whose image was scary? A living being or a metaphysical one. I agree that the story seems incomplete and I would like to satisfy my curiosity. Please tell us more.

  15. Also got confused with the “Adam” (as Sueddie pointed out) mentioned in there,

    …but it was alright

  16. More…………………………………………………………….????

  17. I love the story and earnestly hope to see the rest of it.
    No corrections from me cos it has all been said.
    Good job @mobola

  18. It’s a good story. The incomplete part may be part of the story since it’s just a flash

    Thank GOD you’ve say you’re a lady, I would’ve also said well done bro.

    You’ve done a great job.

  19. You write like a sage.keep on writing like this and you would be taking chinue achebe’s place

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