NS Readers (to writers)

NS Readers (to writers)

This is a prayer
Please heed our plea
A times we start our day
By the works you post
Sir, please do have mercy
Or your post one day
Be death of us all
We thought you could write
And that’s why we read
This crap you just wrote
Should die at the cradle
Lest it be dearth
To the unwary publisher

We readers are helpless
Always in danger
From rain of your bullets
And rapid misfires
You expect us to die
Without even a fight?
No!
Your work won’t kill us

When we can read
And when we are smart
When we have eyes
And when we have light
And we still fail to see
What you display
Child, check the display
Take that thing down
And stick it down there
Confined to the darkness
The Recesses of your mind

How dare you claim
That we don’t understand
Because you are higher?
How do we read
What you didn’t write?
You are no writer
Except you can be read
You are no scribe
Till we give the nod
We are the market
We be the panel
We decide your fate
Until you take note of us
You won’t be made

We read your ego
It is so not fair
Does ego know
What you do to it?
Ego is a dude
Loves to be erect
Your ego is lonely
It has no back up
Give your ego a spine
It must have a base

True you have the passion
But please find another
What you do to the art
Affects your heart
We can’t encourage you
Lest you continue like this
And publish post mortem
We decide these things
We know these things
If half says you are good
Another half says otherwise
You are only alive
If all says otherwise
Cross the divide
Become one of us
Become a reader
Be worth more your while
It is easier to be a critic

Truth be told
We criticise
Because we cannot write
But we sure do know
How a write should be
It is our duty to speak
You can’t hush us
We are obliged
To read what we see
We do what we do
Cos we can’t do what you do
We are the readers
We are your gods

You don’t write for us?
Lie not to us
That you care so much
Tells us a lot
Good does his thing
Regardless of the bad
Careless of the views
You are a sales man
And a bad one at that
Why get angry
That we question the goods?
We see through you
If you don’t need the acclaim
Use pseudonyms
Or anonymous
But ask your ego first

Sorry
Sincerely, we apologise
For the other day
We only thought
You were passing a message
Sharing a pain
You could have told us
You were only a joke
And need no sympathy
Or our condolence
You weren’t clear
We thought it was real
Always specify
Warn us next time
To avoid the trap

Dear aspirant,
You know much less
So please never argue
When we point out the trash
Sometimes very glaring
You claim its a style
The uniqueness of your voice
Brother, we see what you don’t
We know what you don’t
That when we say nice
We only being kind

Write if you must
We allow you that
But Don’t force the pen
Yeah, we know it is wrong
When we diss you the writer
And not just your work
But sir, we blame the mother
For the ills of the baby
From the shape of a head
We even trace the father
You write what you are
We read what you are

Sometimes we speak
Because you default
If you are what you claim
Please be understood
What good is a song
That one can’t hear?
What good is a piper
Without the tune?
What good is music
Without the ears?
You’ve aired your laundry
But we are the dryers
If you don’t want them dry
Don’t air them at all

Dear writer,
We mean no harm
Sometimes we do
Something put us off
The cover, your name
Your style or the ego
Especially your bio
You won the awards?
But we didn’t give it
That’s why you did
In this world of ours
We are the masters
You are because we are
You write because we read
You are the needy
But if you insist
On feeding us the mash
Sir, we be forced to
Take it personal

We like, you shrug
We diss, you flare
Child, leave the profession
We aim not to please
You have a mind
Just Post your work there
If you don’t want the truth
There’s a box you should tick
But for the sake of art
Don’t post at all
But as for us
We must comment
Be good or bad
We like bad more
You are not that good
To satisfy us all

And Please @admin
We don’t need to chat
With just any writer
Except they be stars
Or we say who we want
We know you mean well
Sometimes we are not sure
We take much flak
From these posts you let in
It is not our fault
That we can’t but read
So do have mercy

It is a plea
And then a threat.



35 thoughts on “NS Readers (to writers)” by kaycee (@kaycee)

  1. Aha.

    Ahahaha.

    I have a lot of things to say about this one…but I hold my peace. For the moment.

    1. A lot??
      No wahala

  2. Dear Readers
    We writers do implore
    Read, you say you must
    but there’s a word called ignore
    please apply if you must.

    LMAO!!! It was a nice read for me sha.

    “Something put us off” – kinda sounds off to me…should it be something puts us off/somethings put us off? (just a thought)

    1. Lol
      About the “something put us off” or “something puts us off” or “somethings put us off”…. Choose anyone na.

  3. You should have specified; NS Reader(Kaycee) to writers.
    Lol!

    Always causing controversy!

    1. @babyada, I speak for us na, all readers.
      Same way I spoke for all writers in the first one (NS writers (To critics).
      Lol

  4. Am’ma eat you up kaycee!

    Criticise my work next time and………..aaaaaaarrrrgggh!

    Nice…..if admin catch you Ehn?!

    1. Na you talk am o

  5. My oh my @kaycee; some things just never change

    I like the no-holds-barred candour of this one and why am I not surprised that ” it is a plea and then a threat”,

    With you it’s always “what you see is what you get”.
    But well, the criticism on NS is a mole hill compared to many reviews accorded to some works out there so if there’s one or two “villains” around here, I guess it’s a dress rehearsal for the big one for all who are serious about getting published .

  6. Lmao!!! Really enjoyed reading this though
    Like we say on twitter………….. “This is a SUB” (An indirect message to someone who knows himself/herself……….)

    1. Lol,
      Nothing indirect here o

  7. http://www.naijastories.com/2011/12/ns-writers-to-critics/

    For those of you who didn’t read the first part, that the link above.

    They were supposed to be posted one after the other.
    Hope this would convince all that I spoke for both the Readers and the writers.
    Lol.

  8. Ha??? I stay mute for now….My comment(s) coming in later…</strong

  9. This is lovely. The blunt truth.

    “We like, you shrug
    We diss, you flare
    Child, leave the profession
    We aim not to please
    You have a mind
    Just Post your work there
    If you don’t want the truth
    There’s a box you should tick”

    True talk. Satisfaction is not for the mass but for a few.

    Nice one kay.

  10. kaaayyyyyycccccceeeeeeeeeee!!! Chop knuckle man! You do well joor!

  11. This is more like Kaycee the tyrant reader to NS Writers. Abeg, calm your temper, we hear you. :)

    1. Lol, not true jare, I am the voice of the…people

  12. @kaycee

    nice prayer.,,,

    I like this.

    We know you mean well
    Sometimes we are not sure
    We take much flak
    From these posts you let in
    It is not our fault
    That we can’t but read
    So do have mercy

    It is a plea
    And then a threat.

  13. I say: this is good.
    Plea or threat; it remains not just a blunt truth but as well a very sharp one.
    It’s either one is in or out and once you’re in, take whatever you get cos it’s all for the best.
    I agree with you @kaycee &@midas.

    1. Thanks for reading.

  14. Hmmm…I loved this and hated it…is this possible? hehehehe…

    1. Seriously, I hate it too.

  15. @kaycee….hmmm,i no dey ooooo,well written and very blunt…… “Hw a write should be”…check dat line,well done

    1. @obionyinye, that line is as intended.
      Wetin do am?

  16. Nice one Kay and like usual U were blunt in ur delivery..Well done jare..And I agree with Myne and Eletrika sef.

    People should actually read this and take it to heart o…Not when We(readers) comment on their work dey start flaring up like bangers and firecrackers…Mtscheew!…hehehe

    1. @sybbylwhyte.
      We are keeping malice remember?

  17. This is ……!

  18. Haha… Some teeny weeny typos, but knowing you I’m sure you’d have discovered them by now. Nice one

  19. Loooool, not written with as much spunk or passion as the first one.

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