Hidden Hand

Hidden Hand

After chatting with @jefsaraurmax I decided to put up this post. It had laid almost forgotten where I scribbled it many weeks before the chat on 5/1/2012 (I cannot even remember the date I wrote this), but here it is. Thanks, Jefs and happy reading people.

 

January 6, 2012   11.50am

drop the veil
all you kept secret behind the sacred mask
let me inside to reveal
pungent and putrid, it is a minor ask.

in the dark it glows brilliantly bright
your sins the dark night can’t hide
fanned by souls you doubled their plight
sins which in your dreams makes themselves silently heard.

talk to me and lighten this load
i see it in your eyes the fear that burrows there
my dear, it scares me but i remain bold
for this fear i will gladly share.

i will share because i know
most of it wasn’t for your own sake
sins you committed and hoped won’t show
my shame is i knew for whose sake.

i am the unseen villain
the third hand that took from the wretched poor
my heart is shattered by this truth laid plain
but, please tell me and let’s give back all.

i wait and hope
that you will realize the pain
is not a ploy for more
but my prayer for us to finally stop!

11.52 am

Merci.


 



22 thoughts on “Hidden Hand” by shaifamily (@shaifamily)

  1. Amazing. I liked the fact that the way it was structured allowed for some deciphering. An overarching theme that seems to be running though is Hypocrisy and secret sins which usually bring about shame, and fear of being discovered. I don’t think I’ve read anything about this, whether here or anywhere, and this was well written. Well done.

    1. You re very perceptive . Yea, hypocrisy is here. Most know that our ‘loved’ ones engage in one corrupt act or the other…to make life better for us maybe…maybe. Just maybe. But we turn the blind eye, yeah?
      Also, there is sin…and the guilt the perpetrator of such live with in their private lives. Everyone is fed upon by their guilt…
      U were on track bro.
      Thanks for appreciating it for what it is.

  2. ok.A good one.Question is that does the poet persona need the confessions of the other before making a recompense?

    Well done!!!

    1. That is the factor of hypocrisy.
      If u like ‘naija factor’- we know what is wrong, where all dt money is coming from. But if it pays d bills, we re compromised. We pass d ‘buck’ so to speak.

  3. One of my pet peeves is reading works where the I is not capitalized. Yeah start your lines with small letters but do capitialize your i’s, there’s nothing stylistic about that.

    Otherwise, this is an OK poem.

    1. Myne, I think it would ruin the structure of the poem since the lines are supposed to start with small letters. In any other case, it might be an error, but I think this is intentional…

      1. it is indeed intentional. I really don’t know why it should be much of a problem tho’.

        1. @Myne I think the ‘i’ thing works…at least, for me. There’s this school of thought that also believe that the individual is too small in a big world to be considered independent and large. Therefore, the use of the small ‘i’ reflects their perspective. My thoughts…

          1. @sueddie Bros, u re always very perceptive on my works. Considering the fact of the theme here, it even makes it even more poignant what I tried to do with the ‘i’.
            Thanks.

  4. Master..
    I am missing something… I don’t know what it is…maybe context… hidden meanings…

    You sabi!

    1. Ofcos there is a hidden meaning. Sorry to put u and everyone else through it.
      For this paricular piece, it tried to explore the reason for corrupt acts. Most times, such acts are not usually based on the greed of the perpetrator.
      That was what this tried to put forward…

  5. So Jef inspired this. I wonder why.

    Interesting.

  6. I go like know wetin una talk wey U take post this sweet work…

  7. @Raymond we talked abt naija, the strike, the protest, oil subsidy, corruption, corrupt people and why I need to write something abt the situation to show my children in yrs to come.
    I fink dt covers it.
    Then, I saw ds where I had it and realized how it typifies some of the tinz dt is going on. Especially, as it is presented.

    1. Like showcasing the irony (or parody if u like) of the concept we call corruption.
      One way or the other it touches everyone of us…either as passive or active particpaticants

  8. @shaifamily: hmm, you na wa…see the kind of poem that gist on politics inspired you to post. Hmm, I can only wonder what gist on romance would do…;)
    I enjoyed the poem. I like the small ‘i’ usage…works for me, especially as you say it is intentional. I enjoyed the rhyming, though I am not sure it worked all the way. There were some lines where it seemed something was missing…Something like a disconnect in some of the lines that need some mending to get the verse together. Maybe, another look would help. Nice one here man…nice one. You sure are in your element in verse – but of course, we all know that already.

  9. I think the first two lines need to be corrected “drop the veil
    all you kept secret behind the sacred mask”. Shouldn’t it be:

    ‘drop the veil
    all your kept secrets behind sacred mask’

    All in all I see deceit, and corruption justified with the fact that the stealing from the poor was done for your well being, as the child or family of the corrupt person hooked with the burden of his sins.

    Apart from the first two lines, nice poem and painted imagery.

  10. Nice one @Shai. You can write…

    1. @lancaster
      Thanks or dtone vote of confidence, that is a great endorcement
      I dey try be like my masters.

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