Never Meant To Be

Never Meant To Be

We both were as little as a tiny mouse

Right within our parents’ house

Little did we know what was happening

Even as our brain got sharpening

We didn’t know what love was

Neither did we know how it worked

All we had for each other was hate

Just at the tender age of eight

This because papas sought to forecast our future

While we were so anxious to mature

Mamas at their tasks of merging us were so enthusiastic

Whereas we though little, were being realistic

They strived to push us together

While all we needed was maybe far from the other

This prediction turned us against ourselves

For we thought, how can we ever be with ourselves?

But as on us maturity dawned

We both naturally became drawn

We instinctively understood individual roles

Just as the attraction of unlike poles

We realized we never needed the push from the outside

For the seed was already deposited and growing on the inside

We have come and seen

How love is like the greatness of the sea

What was left was on how to conquer

But the battle was so fierce of how the heart can surrender

It ended up taking a while

At the end it was all worth the while

Just as we thought we’ve conquered all of it

We suddenly knew, we were never meant to be!



11 thoughts on “Never Meant To Be” by joy1 (@joy1)

  1. what a twist…at the end!

    a little less use of words and, this would be a masterpiece…in the making.

    1. I see what you mean, and I agree.

  2. can you explain please

  3. i love this. I am not usually into poetry but i love this

  4. What! Okay, I love the twist at the end too.
    Nice

  5. Its a nice poem but I think your rhyming scheme blighted it. For me, the rhymes weren’t really elegant and in some places rhyming words didn’t connect well contextually.

    Some observations:

    “We both were as little as a tiny mouse / Right within our parents’ house”

    Couldn’t it have been something like:

    “We both were as little as a mouse / While in our parents’ house”

    Also look at this:

    “Little did we know what was happening / Even as our brain got sharpening”. Both lines are wrong. “Little did we know” does not connect with “what was happening”. The former should point to something definitive not something you are not really aware of. It probably should have been “We knew little of what was happening”. “Even as our brain got sharpening” quickly shows that your desire to rhyme, which I believe was intended to make the poem eloquent, paradoxically weighs down the poem making it clumsy. It makes better sense to say “Even as our brains sharpened” but you obviously wanted to rhyme the two lines well. Also, ‘s’ should have been added to ‘brain’.

    There are other mistakes but I would live it to you to detect them.

    All in all I think this is an amazing story that is still buried in potential. You can nevertheless work with the rhymes but you would have to think harder and come up with more eloquent lines and rhymes.

  6. A nice sarcastic ending…

  7. Mine is as mice or mouse…?
    Whatever, nice content & concept,
    would better if less screed, few words
    as thought is allowed to stew; not
    necesarily ryhmed in some good cases.

    1. thanks all… i really appreciate the comments and observations. i will effect the changes. still new at poetry but with your help, i am sure to do better at this.

  8. The end had quite a suprising and interesting twist, nice piece.

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