The Housewife series: 3

This is not the usual housewife- only story.  It’s for everyone one, not just  as a reading pleasure but also a call to help.  This is a call to help the Helps.

Ifeanyi   has been living with the  Ado family since he was 11 years old. HE lost  his father  as a young child and the mother under pressure to cope with her children financially,  sent him the first son to the city as a house help.  He started primary one at the age of 11 (which was easy for him because he had a small stature).  He was a kindhearted boy and very loyal.  In return, he was loved in the family.  Time flew fast, he finished primary education with excellent results, and he moved on to secondary school.

Ifeanyi was no longer the small boy that came to the city at 11 years.  He was now taller and mature and at the age of 18, and still  in junior secondary 2. It was a tough call for Ifeanyi to be in junior secondary school at that age , but no one in the family knew what he was passing through.  Of course, he left for school every morning and came back in the afternoon like everyone else.  They exposed his deception when he was asked to bring his results at the end of the term.  He had nothing to bring because he did not write exams on any of the 15 subjects offered in school.  He said he hadn’t been going to school for a while. He would dress up and leave the house but would end up in a Petrol filling station, where he would stay till school over before going back home. He later revealed that one of his teachers in school had told him that he was old to be in secondary school.  He said the he does not want to go to school any longer but that he would want to go and learn a handiwork.  In the midst of all the brouhaha, a porn film was found in his possession.  That broke the camel’s back and Ifeanyi was sent on an indefinite holiday to go and spend some time with his people and decide if he still wants to live with the Ado family.

This is a typical case with house helps . They come to a crisis point in their life and when they  start showing  the signs of puberty or adolescents, the families they live with are threatened and feel the help is becoming unruly and in the bid to avoid any ruckus or intervening in the problem, they send them home, just like that.

Personally, I don’t support Ifeanyi  in the things he has done but he hasn’t committed any crime.  He is having an identity crisis which I strongly believe the Ado family can help him overcome.  If the village had anything to offer him initially, he would not have come to the city.

What kind of help do you render to your Help?  They are equal human beings too. They have potentials locked up in them waiting to be explored.  The day they came to live with you, you became responsible for anything and everything about them.  We have had our own share of juvenile delinquencies and our parents NEVER gave up on us. They helped strengthen us out. Why should we so easily give up on our house helps?  They haven’t only come to help you with your house chores and looking after your children but they have also come for you to help them.  They take your insults, the hardknock life and the disrespectful  treatment but we reject them the moment they start showing signs of growth and development. They definitely have to grow.  We have to change our mindset towards the people we call our house helps.  God didn’t create them and put that tag on them.  The world system did.  Giving the same situation they have found themselves in, the world system can tag you, your sibling or your child with that name too.

Help the House help.



2 thoughts on “The Housewife series: 3” by Ada (@lildamey)

  1. I understand this. Unfortunately, some of them can mess up as well….But still, nice argument.

  2. Ada this is very touching. Your piece is so real that It should be a topical debate in my opinion. @ raymond… yes! you are correct. Some house helps mess up royally. By messing up I mean in a sinister sort of way.
    If Ada’s arguments still stands, but so do children in the same household.

    If a child joins a household at a tender age, his/her nurturing and well being is the responsibility of the parents in that home. We don’t cast out our own children do we?

    @ Ada.. It’s not all gloom in every case, I went to a fortieth b/d party recently and the celebrants older brother gave a speech.

    After his greetings, he apologized for his lateness,explained that he had flown in that morning from Nigeria after their dad’s remembrance ceremony. In describing the home they grew up in and why his younger sister was an angel,he had to tell us a little about their family.

    Their eldest brother whom they all loved and revered as the family head after their fathers death, was not their blood brother.
    His sister was shocked as he and the rest of their siblings had been.

    It turned out that this brother had joined their family at the age of six,as a house boy.
    Their parents treated them all as equals,and accorded him every honor given to a first born, and held him responsible for every mistake or failure when ever he fell short in his responsibilities as the eldest.

    Everyone was shocked,including very close friends and even family members.
    My friend and her siblings would never have known this, had their elder brother himself not revealed it whilst paying tribute to his father.

    So you see my dear, we leave in very cruel and uncertain times, the love for SELF has consumed so many that innocence has become victim. Thank you so much for writing this.

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