My Name Is Lola

My Name Is Lola

My Name is Lola
I married my husband a virgin. He was the best thing ever to happen to me. I remember the days of our courtship. We were both in the University of Lagos. He was so dashing and uses flashy cars his rich family showered him with. My hostel mates always had news that he was cheating on me. These were storms in my heart. Anytime I confronted him, he swore he had never seen any lady since he met me and would never until the day I chose to shut him out of my life.

My name is Funsho
Yes, I married my wife a virgin. That night was like yesterday. Let me tell you a secret. She is still as hot as she was on the first night we had sex. She was a very shy girl when we met. It took me three years before she let me kiss her while we were courting… Oh I see you are raising your brow. Our courtship lasted for four years.

My Name is Lola
My biggest weakness while we were dating was my inability to trust him. Some nights I had feelings he was cheating on me with some girl, somewhere. Some times when I call him and I hear female voices, I will hang up on him and would refuse to see him for days. I was always accusing him wrongly. I longed for the day when I would catch him cheating so I could smash his face with a rock.

My name is Funsho
I remember the days her jealousy used to sting so bad. I would admit I liked looking at girls lustfully, then. I would admit I had cheated on her in my heart… Hahaha. Even pastors do that… Just kidding! One thing I never did was cheat on her physically. I never ever had sex with a lady since the day I met her. I did embrace something embarrassing though. I met a girl online who kept getting me horny each time we chatted. My online friend kept on telling me her sexy my profile pix looked. Ahaaa… No… My online friend had a nipple as her profile pix, and since my eyes loved such, I got used her. A day came when my online friend uploaded a picture of her P… What is there…? I hope you don’t mind if I call the word, Pussy. Sorry, let us stick with the P word. The day she uploaded P picture and shared it privately with me, I was alone in my room. My online friend sent her number immediately and I called. My online friend moaned on phone telling me to groan… That was the greatest temptation ever. I simply told my online friend I was married and hung up. I can remember the name my online friend used. Creamy Gurl was the name. I quickly blocked her from reaching me online… but I did save her hungry P picture. I stared at it mostly at nights. And even after I got married I was staring at it. It remained a habit till the day my wife caught me.

My Name is Lola
I did not have to forgive him because whatever he was fantasizing about belonged to me. I cannot be ashamed because he is now my husband. It was a test I had him pass through because of my suspicions during our courtship. He did pass the test claiming he was married why he wasn’t. I became more confident afterwards about my future with him. Yes, I was Creamy Gurl.

My Name is Funsho
Hahahaha… Till date I still find it hard to believe that the P that caught my attention years back wasn’t a deflowered one. I forgave her when she opened up because I knew her in and out. I knew how difficult it took her to trust me. It was just the rain of surprise that got me wet. I wasn’t angry. I did not hold anything against her. All we do is laugh about it when we recall.



38 thoughts on “My Name Is Lola” by Idoko (@julemyles)

  1. Which kine…….? Oh, its Idoko, you get luck say na you.
    If it were one of those my enemies like @Lactoo or that other fellow,(I forget his annoying name), I for blast….lol

    1. Fink I do know who u re talking about @Kaycee or those u are talking about. hehehe. As e no be me (abi na me???) I go keep quiet dey watch dey go. LOL.

  2. ha!
    funny u…fisherman, lol.
    very deep and insightful…the whole don’t judge a book by itz cover stuff among others.

    typo:
    claiming he was married why (while) he wasn’t.

  3. Very interesting interleaving style, Idoko. Very funny story, too… and very sweet. Thanks, and well done.

  4. Not too bad a romance. But i thought it would have been more romantic if you had aquinted yourself with James hardley chase. Not too bad, good divisions, happy discoveries at the endline.
    @kaycee, na wetin i do you. Ok no vex for me, i just dey air my creativity. Kaycee, it shouldn’t be so at all. U gat to be accomodating. Probably i don’t know how i’ve offended you. No probs, i think i’ll go to hell and give you more space on earth.
    @adaobi, what do you think. Kaycee is against me. Callin’ him self my bloody enemy.

    1. @Lactoo…Kaycee’s possibly the funniest guy I have met on NS. He’s accommodating of everything that doesn’t insult his person…check his critiques and responses to others too. did it myself just to get a feel of the guy and now, i really don’t find him intolerant. Don’t just name him. read Raymond’s critiques of ur works too. Read Myne’s…among others. u ruffled feathers and guess what? this site’s where writers show their CREATIVITY. u haven’t seen nothin yet…lol.
      if my opinions count, i’d say…humbly withdraw ur claws and as Raymond advised…go and read more so that you polish your own tenses and works.
      and for the record…leave me out of your issues too.

        1. @Adaobiokwy were u rhyming or something?

          @Lactoo I guess I will just leave u be, since u don’t heed no heed!

          LWKMD ooo.

      1. Chai…@Adaobi,why now?
        That’s not so cool and fair of you o….Lmao!!!

    2. Now, you want me to accomodate you? As in squat you? For all your ‘greatness’, You can’t pay your own rent? Mtcheeeeew.

      1. @Kaycee…..Lwkmd!!

    3. ….And what has Hadley Chase got to do with Romance? Don’t feel like U always have to say something smart, @louis/Lactoo.

  5. Kaycee’ whats the hate for.

    1. First impressions boy…first impressions. I daresay, U haven’t created a good one for Urself, @louis…

      1. Make una leave @Lactoo alone o….how many of una don publish book?

        1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

          1. The bible says spare the rod and spoil the child. We have to train up that lactating kid. Or we could just ignore him.
            But if I catch him making any stupid comments on my posts, either he leaves NS or I leave. And God no say no be me go leave.
            Publish which novel. Did even his cousins buy?
            Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!!

            1. *whispering* he buy one for im library….

              1. haba! guys make una free lactoo na. It’s not his fault that he is young and immature, he’ll grow up eventually. for now just let him be abeg.
                Kaycee oya, ejoor forgive the poor kid………or at least ignore him for now.

                ………….but wait first, the boy don apologize?

                1. Na there U go fear na. U see wetin excess ‘Lactation’ dey cause? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oya, make we free am.

                  Na there U go fear gang-up na…

                  1. LWKMD!!! Crazy dudes….

                    1. oya, lets ignore the puppy.

  6. Good piece. One or two typos here and there, but still a good piece.

  7. Very nice. Love the style you used to tell the story. Funny, yet sweet.

  8. haha…creamy gurl…I liked the style of the presentation.

  9. Hmm, now why don’t I like this Lola girl? (maybe because perhaps I would have failed her little test)
    Nice concept Idoko, small issue though “………..I knew her in and out. I knew how difficult it took her to trust me.” could have been “………how difficult it had been for her to trust me.” or “……how long it took her to trust me.” just my two cents anyway, good job!

  10. Loved your way of telling this.

    Well done!!!

  11. I love this story…and your style of writing it.
    Very funny.
    Welldone,Idoko.

  12. Very, very nice…And the comments were Golden, a la @Kaycee and @louis/Lactoo. Hahahaha!!!

  13. nice piece idoko
    @those concerned,
    uhmm..i see..alot has changed really.. now we have a lacto..probably the most popular name on NS in the past minutes..(i guess)..
    @lacto, u probably have the pack against you…i can’t deduce your offense yet…but i belief your ego is a pointer……just be easy…hope to see an improved comments on u…

  14. Secrets,secrets,secrets…nice writeup,save for the typos, so please watch out for those

  15. As usual, I come in a bit late…forgive me. The joy is I get to have a view of everyone else…So, here we go:
    @Lactoo, pele my brother…it would seem you crossed the wrong folks and walked the wrong path. Hmm, no be small laughs on the gang ups – @Raymond – my Vampire brother…you sure can be terrible when you wish to be. 
    @Idoko, what’s not happening with you my brother. Well done on this piece. Several comments have been made and I should add ‘Well done.’ If you ask my opinion, there wasn’t really a need for putting the word ‘pussy.’ The story could have done well without the intervention. It is almost as if you just wanted to show that you could use the word  Hee hee hee…don’t mind me.
    Same as all on the typos. They disrupted what should have been a better read.
    I remember those days when we would be lounging in your house and you would keep ranting about how difficult writing short stories is and how you can’t write… how you would stick to your novels which you just couldn’t get enough out of writing and re-writing over and overt…Time flies.
    Keep the ink flowing my brother. We would celebrate surely. We would. Cheers, S’

  16. @Louis … had to fight a lot to get your mention name…Wanted to mention you in my comment and did but discovered you weren’t underlined…Well, hope you good. Had a laugh at the gist of the ‘men’ with you…Well, hope you good.

  17. Na lactoo get this story, una leave comment way una go comment una dy talk about lactoo. Nice story guy u try

  18. Lactoo,The lactating kid is back.

  19. Hahaha..I loved this story, guess Funsho was truly a gud guy seeing as he passed the test..
    And I had to laugh out loud at d comments…lactoo is/was a character…wish he comes back so I can see @kaycee get Pissed!…dat wld be a sight to read..hehehe..

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