Glitters

Glitters

In your eyes I see these glitters

Glitters like the likes of calm waters

Filled with unexpressed treasures

Of joy happiness and pleasures

 

This glitter like the glitters

Of the sun shining on waters

Creating a beautiful mirror effect

Out of the ordinary perfect

 

I have seen these glitters

In those eyes of hers

It happened when she was happy

When on the prelude of love nappy

 

Her pupils became enlarged

And it filled her
eyes

It was like ecstasy

Like an unaware excitement

 

Just like the butterfly

That flitters and flutters

Because it is happy to be free

To flitter and flutter

 

Behold lest be told

All that glitters isn’t gold

Sigh and I smile

All that glitters is in her eyes.



16 thoughts on “Glitters” by chisom oji (@chisom)

  1. NICE one Chisom… you did well with the rhyming attempt. nice one indeed. i liked the way the poet suddenly became cynical in the end with the ALL THAT GLITTERS IS IN HER EYE kind of like it was all a deception or not…

    a few pointers though:

    you change your PERSON from the third stanza and i wondered about that because it unsettled the poem…

    In YOUR eyes I see these glitters [INITIALLY YOU WERE TALKING TO HER DIRECTLY]
    THEN
    In those eyes of HERs[YOU STARTED TALKING ABOUT HER LIKE SHE WAS NOT THERE]

    YOU need to be consistent

    well done

  2. @Chisom you know how I feel about your pieces. This one here is fyne, but there are places where the attempt at rhyme throws some parts of it off track (for me that is).

    Check:
    “This glitter like the glitters

    Of the sun shining on waters

    Creating a beautiful mirror effect

    Out of the ordinary perfect” – the last line here and the last word – “PERFECT”. Introducing it way it is here confuses me….maybe a semi-colon or coma before you introduce it. Well, maybe or maybe not!
    I guess the total lack of punctuations in this piece may be intentional and the reason for that…but reading it, hmmmm.

    1. @Shai, lol…ordinary perfect…i think it would have worked beta as…’ordinarily perfect’

      1. “This glitter like the glitters
        Of the sun shining on waters
        Creating a beautiful mirror effect
        Out of the ordinarily perfect” – Adaaaaaaaaaa!

    2. yeah the semi colon thingy and me punctuation isn’t that 1daful.

  3. I think that it is better not to rhyme at all, than to start and break if off midway.

    Ditto Xikay and Shai,

    I like the imagery. Well done.

    1. meant to type “break IT off”

      1. Very true. Whoever does that should be charged for…

    2. ok! i got cut… i wont rhyme again iwill just write….thanx Rhema.

  4. i like this poem cos it’s okay but i ditto all the stuffs the critics pointed out above.

    It happened when she was happy

    When on the prelude of love nappy

    i understand these two lines too but, nappy? i don’t blv it works there (plz, feel free to tell me otherwise). this is a woman on the threshold of love or one really in love…nappy kinda drags it…babyhood and makes it ‘unserious’. (just a thot)

    1. when on the threshold of love; nappy(describes the babyhood of that love)

  5. Its a nice enough poem.

  6. I like. Well done.

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