The Apartment

The Apartment

Jenny looked around the apartment for the last time and gave the Agent a silent nod. No visible rats or cockroaches in sight yet, at least for the past fifteen minutes she’s been touring the apartment.

“What again did you say happened to the last occupant” she asked for the fourth time in that short space of time, wondering if she wasn’t paying attention to the answer or if the Agent wasn’t answering the question in the first place.

“He was in a car accident” the Agent said too quickly.

“Car accident? That wasn’t what you said earlier? I thought you said something like he moved back home to his parents?” Jenny asked.

“Did I? Guess I have it all mixed up with some other house. You know I have quite a number of prospects everyday that the information of one house get mixed up with another. Pardon me”.

Jenny shrugged, and began inspecting the bathroom; she loved the pink floor to ceiling tiles. She turned the tap in the sink and was happy to discover it was running.

“I’ll take it” she announced, turning to face the agent who she thought was standing behind her, but he wasn’t. “Hello!” she called.

No answer.

She retreated back to the room they both had earlier inspected. “Mr. Agent!”

No answer.

It was beginning to get really creepy as she searched the whole house without any trace of the Agent. She was all alone in the damned house for all she cared! She was suddenly besieged with this foreboding terror and she knew she had to get out of that house fast. Where is the blasted door! She cursed. Because of her panic it took her a longer time to find it and as she placed her hand on the knob to turn it she felt a hand on her shoulder twirling her around. She let out a piercing scream, using her bag and fist to fight her tormentor in a wild frenzy.

“Hey…hey lady, don’t scream so loud, my ear is hurting…hey listen” She wouldn’t stop, couldn’t stop till her two wrists were grabbed to shush her. It was then she looked at the face of her captor, terror in her large brown eyes. “I know you are scared, but you have to listen” her captor said, his grip on her hands not loosening an inch.

“What in God’s name is going on here? Who are you?” she inquired, her eyes darting this way and that for an escape route if given the slightest opportunity.

“I sneaked up behind you as you inspected the bathroom and seized him…but that is not important now, we don’t have much time before…”

“…before what?” Jenny began fighting him anew. If she was not going to make it out here at least her soul will be consoled that she had put up a good fight.

“Quit that petty fighting now, or I’ll leave you here to make it out alone!”

“Who are you?”

“My name is Zeb, I live in the next apartment. I’ve been suspecting some anomaly in this particular flat, every tenant that lives here dies, and my investigation shows that the Landlord of this house worships this blood tasty deity that requires a yearly human sacrifice to appease it. This flat is the human snare…”

“I don’t believe you! How do I know you are not one of them?” She asked. “Why not inform the police?”

“The police don’t believe me” the man said extending his hand. “Are you coming out with me now or not?”

Without another word Jenny allowed him to lead her away.



11 thoughts on “The Apartment” by barbara (@barbara)

  1. The ending was too sudden. It felt rushed…and like an anti climax.

    The way you described the story…or the way you began the story was good…and then you let go of the control pad.

    Its a great story…but I think the ending needs reworking.

  2. i love the suspense u’re creating here and i really look forward to reading more.

    thing’s, u need to work on your sentence construction and check the typos:
    she searched the whole house (and there was no sign/saw no trace)without any trace of the Agent…

    she was all alone in the damned house for all she cared! (for all she knew)

    she knew she had to get out of that(the house…she’s still in the house) house fast

    Where is(was…u’re mixing tenses) the blasted (damn door would rock for me…just a tot)door!

    I’ve been suspecting some anomaly(some anomalies) in this particular flat, (./;?)every tenant that lives here dies, and my investigation shows that the Landlord of this house worships this blood tasty (thirsty)deity that requires a yearly human sacrifice to appease it…

    and as always, discard as u plz, k?

    good luck!

  3. I like a lot… thumbs up!

  4. OK, I confess, the suspense got me! I hope this is the first, and there will be more to come? If not, then the ending really needs work. How could she just follow him after all the struggles?

  5. Is this the end or you have more to come?
    Well,the ending was too sudden like seun said, and i dont believe that she would follow the guy just like that..
    nice story..(but i still cant believe thats the end).

  6. Nice.

    Looking forward to the rest of the story.

  7. You wouldn’t dare stop the story here.

  8. Nice idea, but i don’t think you prolonged the conflict well enough..

  9. Good story.I think it kinda petered out towards the end too.

    Well done!!!

  10. You have a nice story here, please let it continue.

  11. I wondered at the way it ended too. what happened to the agent?

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