Just one day

Just one day

Just one day

it shall be well
i will walk through the streets
my shoulders would be tall
i will smile
feel the good air
because am an heir

Just one day

my name sees a golden printer
it shall be a blessing
there shall be a lesson
well understood from every angle
an epitome of excellence

Just one day

the harvest will be due
no more toilin
eating all the way
this my season
the plates would never go empty

Just one day

hands want a shake
behind my cake
they may come for a take
though i can’t bake
everything on my sake
it shall be just one day

20 thoughts on “Just one day” by Uchechukwu Obiakor (@uchechukwu1)

  1. Nice poem Uchechukwu. However, I have a few suggestions;
    The second paragraph “my name sees a golden printer” could have been “[when] my name sees a golden printer”.
    The third paragraph ‘no more toilin[g]” (a typo).
    Also, I do not really understand what you meant in the final paragraph, You talked about your cake, yet you said you couldn’t bake.
    Nevertheless, it was a nice idea altogether. Keep growing.

  2. Keep writing. U r getting there. Nice poem. heed Igwe’s suggestions.

    1. @ray,i got you.i will keep the pen busy

  3. I know you had an idea bubbling up in your head before you wrote this piece, no doubt. As a growing poet you should take this to mind: message is paramount over style, when the message is clear, little creativity quickly makes whatever you are writing a good read. You concerned yourself too much with giving the final paragraph of this poem rhymes and rhythm that do not pass out any meaning. What is it about your ‘cake’ that you can’t seem to ‘bake’? Like Raymond said, keep growing…

  4. This is one of those posts where I have nothing more to add…but because I am a fan of the writer…I am compelled to say…

    …well done.

    1. @seun,you are my chairman.if not for you,na where i for dey today?thanks alot

  5. needs tightening, just too many clitches: ‘it shall be well’, ‘epitome of excellence’, ‘no more toiling’, ‘from every angle’ etc. I disagree that message overrides creativity(language, style, imagination and depth etc). Everybody got something they are saying, it’s how such is said that differentiate good poets/writers from bad ones.

    1. @ajayi,got all you have said.am still growing.i feel appreciated.

  6. Let’s wait for that day. Nothing more to say.

    1. @kaycee,the day comes by.shebi na star you drink?lol.thanks

  7. You are getting there…well done and of course heed the advice from your pple.

  8. @Igwe,you are a king.got all you said,but about the cake,i meant that i won’t suffer myself again that’s where ‘can’t bake’ came in.all the same,thanks

    1. King? hehehe(apologies to Raymond). Okay I got it. Thanks for clarifying.

      1. @Igwe, I get U, hehehehe…*wink.

  9. Is this about heaven or about success? Good job

    1. @double,it is all about success.thanks for coming by

  10. they have said almost everything…you have done well and will do better to heed.

    please can you really look into the word WOULD

    keep it up

  11. I tryd to rhyme most times in d past in almost all my poems, but I found dat it eventually distorts the actual msg am sending, by truncating it @sm point…rhymes don’t assure a good poem…but I still gv dis 6/10..#nuff sed…my oga dem have sed it all…

    1. rhymes may kill the message but when you become very good with twisting rhymes, you message gets less and less distorted when you rhyme

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