Her earrings glistened silver in the moonlight, though they were made of a mixture of silver and gold; she was beautiful and her eyes gleamed with intelligence. She was dressed in a knee length scarlet red dress that belied her calm looks. She entered the club carrying a black clutch purse and stiletto heels. All eyes turned to her as she entered the club unaccompanied. She read lust in the gaze of several men who were present at the ‘Club Zero’ but remained unperturbed, these days she lived through hell on earth and could not really bothered with whatever anyone was going through, she existed in a world of her own, not her own making; she was just the actress that was picked to act out the role that fate had dealt. she flicked her hands through her auburn close-cropped curls as she took a seat at the bar and caught the attention of the bar attendant, he was the regular one.
She laughed without any merriment getting into her eyes. she laughed and played like she had not a care in the world but inside where it really mattered, there was no laughter, no medicine for her soul. How was she going to go on without Taiye and Jackie, her pastor had been calling her long-stop giving her platitudes upon platitude. It took all of her will power not to bang the phone on him because it was obvious he did not understand what a strain it was to go through one of them preachy sessions. She was going through a wilderness experience and she would appreciate it if everyone could just shut up and not imagine that this was their opportunity to practice what they had learnt in bible school.
Ffor her this was real life and being apart from God hurt her as much as speaking with him and not knowing why he let such a thing happen to her. No where in her wildest imagination could she comprehend this much pain and loneliness in a crowd of people. She glanced at the other groups of people who filled the other bar-stools and laughed a mirthless laugh.
She downed another two shots of whiskey and then vodka and she left the club. She put a blank look on her face, walked out the club and opened the door of her car, her sensible but luxurious car. She drove at full speed wishing that the drunken driver who ended life as she knew it would be on the road to finish what he started. Everyday was a blur and she lived in her mind more than she was aware of the road but alas she had come safely home to this empty house.
She was twenty-six and a widow, she mused at herself, she was too young to be a widow and her body did not show any sign that she had even ever been married, talk less of having a 2 year-old child. She dragged her body upstairs and changed into a champagne colored lingerie before going to bed. Tonight there would be no Taiye to keep her company, comfort her or make her laugh at his silly jokes. He’d never leave his socks on the floor for her to pick up after him and complain, she would never hear Jacklyn laugh and gurgle; she was obviously learning her father’s jokes. She would never smile again, at least she thought so.
She went to bed and cried herself to sleep, all she wanted to do was rewind the time by exactly 6 months and say ‘no, i don’t want to go out for a ride…‘ so they would all still be safe in their perfect world where nothing could intrude. She hiccuped and went to sleep.
She woke up to a bright morning with the sun shining brightly and the skies blue tinged with gold, to her surprise, she saw Jacklyn in her arms and felt the comforting arms of Taiye around her. She looked up and it was showing 6.00am on the dial 29th July 2010, the day the accident happened