Trees are nature’s stubble, and 5 o’clock shadows grow into sunrises. I woke up to dogs barking Beethoven. There was a musicality to what amounted to be a negotiation for men’s lives. This is Nigeria. No change, nothing spent.
I flipped through last week’s Vanguard. Sobowole was saying something. “Religion and other psychedelics”, I almost, but aunt said it was the devil. I didn’t say a word. The silence was short-lived. Good mornings were appropriate for all mornings, mild and worse. It was home-training. I did the needful.
My uncle, food on his plate, love in his eyes, believed angels spoke to him through rain, tapping in Morse on his window. They came when rains were in season and vacationed in August. Angels needed breaks.
Outside felt lukewarm. The smell of Seaman’s in the piss steaming off the verandah reminded me I was in Delta. Birdsong flatlined into a headline, something about an army plane bombing itself over a residential area. People died, more cried and that was about it. We say our prayers and relapse.
Battery was on 3%, reading the news felt like the thing to do at the point. We use our demons to our advantage. In Nigeria the jokes write themselves and the trash takes itself out.
Electricity was a rumor. Heard of, hardly seen. Nigeria is as dark as hell is hot. When all your neighbours regress to the morality & manner of the 1400’s, progress goes out of style. There’s sanity in numbers. When in Rome…
I’m in Church on a Friday. I hope my black skin doesn’t stain this white kaftan. Detergent isn’t cheap. You can call bullshit but try minimum wage. I feel like going on my knees to say a prayer for myself, Nigeria needs team effort so we’ll wait till people are troubled enough to consider Church before we open that chapter. When life threatens with stress and stress with death, we turn to religion. “Whoever has a voodoo doll of us can lick the nuts”. XO.
Hell is empty and all the politicians are here. We’d send them back if democracy worked, but ‘if voting made any difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.’ This country’s flag has been red, white and green… green-white-green is for the cameras. APC and PDP are going to slow-dance on Aso Rock till the end of time. No shuffle no rewind. We’re stuck on repeat.
“Skilled propagandists don’t rewrite history with lies, they do it with emphasis”,but, “Skilled propagandists weaponize words. Master propagandists weaponize images”. Let that quote percolate. Just before it hits rock bottom, remember, fuck the media before the police. Swap at your discretion.
“You will get rich by giving society what it wants but doesn’t know how to get”. Society obviously wants to be left alone, I’d be at a loss to think of easier things. We’re holding the U.S. embassy hostage and sabotaging the consulate if they don’t run my visa come Monday. Can’t wait till they use this against me in court.
I won’t tell you how the story ends, but just know the final chapter gets etched onto the collapse of the universe.
This is Nigeria.
Fade to black.