Satire 020

SATIRE 020

I don’t know why Nigeria is this good these days. I don’t know why no one is complaining of hunger and pains. We no longer see dead bodies littered in our streets and no sound of Boko Haram again. I don’t know why the masses won’t suffer a little. The leaders are so kind that they have made everything precious and beautiful to everyone. No one is meant to suffer in Nigeria again. His Excellency is working very hard to make sure that every mouth sees food to eat and every eyes see good things from the atmosphere of this country and to put a smile on every face. This land must bring good tidings to all without a feeble twisted fingers
and frail body that will tell the other world of our sins. He has commanded that all the political leaders must abstinent from corruption, else, he will deal with them in his own way. Yes, His excellency has really pulled down the stronghold of this country and fought corruption heavily. I wonder why you won’t vote for him come the next election.

You know my Pen is not dancing to its stupidity. You know it is saying the truth from the button of its bleeding ink. You know what it means to come from a flourishing country like Nigeria where everything is flowing perfectly. We have nothing to worry about. Yes, the tap is opened for every one to come and fetch water and go. The leaders are serving the masses daily. When a father blesses his children, the children in return pays homage to him. My conscience has told me to write this to his Excellency for a work well done. He has really restructure this country and built a legacy that will last for a life time. The masses insist that I write him this epistle. He has proven himself beyond reasonable doubt.

Yes! Your people told me to write this to you.
Even the one you gave birth to and those ones you didn’t give birth to. Even those that voted you in the election and those that didn’t vote you. His Excellency, the country and the masses are much happy with you and recommend you go for second term.

We are taking count of dead bodies in the street. Those are the result of well fed people. Those that saw surplus of food and decided to kill themsleves with it. Don’t mind them. Those dead bodies by our doorsteps are just fools who thought too much of wine won’t harm them. The wine you brought for them to celebrate your already won 2019 election, they drank before the party started and, they killed themselves by them selves, Your Excellency. Remember your Excellency, that when a child that doesn’t know how to make money gets money from his father, he can’t control himself anymore.

And you see those whom your brothers sacrificed for their wonderful cattle, they are just fools that this country needed to get rid of. How could they be competing with the number one citizens of this country? Those who lay helpless by the roadside as a result of their excitment for the smoothness of the roads you constructed for us; while the ones that traveled to the other world by our political shoes did so due to their greed and selfishness. Don’t mind them, yes, don’t mind them. Many of them are corrupt and selfish to themselves harvesting from where they did not sow. Yes! Your Excellency, they overfed and traveled to paradise so they could tell those over there of your kindness. I wonder why the youths have refused to work anymore, the electricity being supplied to them are making them too lazy. Why would a grow up man stay at home to watch Telemundo while their leaders are in the road working for the country? Why?

I think you will read this with joy your Excellecy; this will definitely make your intestine swim in joy in your stomach: We received the money you promised us during the 2015 election. Everyone is happy with your doings. We are much happy that you are doing us great. In fact, someone hung himself yesterday because of the excitement in the country. And the other person fell intoThird MainLand Bridge because she was so happy for the smooth running of your government.

Our schools are too beautiful for our children to go now. Some of them have decided to sit outside in the open field to learn in order not to dirty the classrooms. And the teachers are well fed these days with Wheat and Egusi soup. Even the school children are enjoying the three square meals you send to them daily. we won’t let you down your Excellency come 2019. We will gather all our animals to vote for you, yes, both our cattle, goats, fowls; we will gather them because you are the best we’ve ever seen. Don’t mind anyone that criticise your leadership, we are all humans you can’t please all of us at the same time. You can’t make everybody to feel happy at the same time. If there is trust, water won’t be cooking fish. We are all doing fine, my good man.

We’ll vacate our houses soonest just to contribute our own quota for the cattle colony, just to make things easier and better for all of us. We are your subjects and ready to obey you at our own cost. We will be evil masses if we don’t allow the cattle to enjoy the warmth of our precious bed. We must allow them to enjoy our home so that the conversation between them and their rearers could be a great one. We’ll leave our house for them to enjoy as we endure the cozy cold in the forest of life.

Let me ask more from my brothers and sisters what they think about you and I shall return later with more testimonies because this is not the kind of thing we live only for ourself we need to share it with others.

©John Chizoba Vincent
#The_Boy_Hero



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