Heaven Is A Mind State

‘Heaven is a mind state, I have been there a couple of times’ Jide mumbled under his breath. “Stay with me bro!” I looked into the rare mirror; he is sprawled on the back sit counting imaginary stars.
“If you are seeing Jesus at the moment bro, tell him not to open the gates of heaven yet,” I laughed at my own joke. Jide on the other hand is too busy with Visiting heaven, he has lost his sense of humor.
I drove faster, this is the second time this week I’m driving him to the hospital, on Tuesday I found him passed out on an overdose of drugs, most of them I couldn’t pronounce. Today being Friday, I came home early, so we could go around town shouting TGIF. Instead, I found him hallucinating, as horrible as it might sound, he looked adorable.

“You think suicide is the answer bro?” I went to sit beside him on the hospital bed. “If I hadn’t found you on time, you would probably have gotten your wish, you might not be lucky next time!”.

“Third time is a charm.”

“Is that your excuse for a joke? It’s a lame one,”

“She went away with everything bro” he couldn’t hold back the tears, “My daughter, my savings and my life when she left. She should have told me to my face, told me we aren’t working and I would have understood, she left a note bro, a fucking note ‘I am gone with the kid, don’t bother looking for us’ what would you have done bro?”

I wanted desperately to tell him things will get better, tell him he can be happy once more. But how do you convince a man bent on suicide to believe in the things you don’t believe yourself? All I can do is hope his next suicide fails!

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