Let me tell you a story. It is about my school mate back in the days. Mad I tell you. You see, Adebayo and I are friends, more like used to be friends . He had a weakness but the strength of his weakness was a curse. He had a sizeable penis. I must say he is or was, per say, endowed.
I am seated by his grave side with a bottle of his favorite beer. I recall an incident that happened few years before he passed away. Anyway, there’s something peculiar about a grave yard. I wonder about things like, do these dead people tell themselves stories about their lives in the past. Like waking up when the world is asleep then open the grave and call out to themselves and gist.
So Bayo had been telling me really exciting stories about a girl called Nneka. She was an art piece. So he said. She was so kind Bayo would always thoughtfully recall, usually after a session of sensual frolicking. This particular night I came back to our shared apartment half drunk. Bayo and I had a minor fight over which team player was the best in Manchester. I was a bit disgusted with Bayo’s confidence in his argument so I just went out. Actually, I was jealous of the attention he got from out not so enlightened audience of three guys from the block. Thinking about that particular night makes me reflexively shudder.
This particular night back in our neighborhood, there was no light it was more of a noisy competition of who’s generator better pass him neighbor. I walked home a bit high not even noticing a group of weed smokers quietly doing their business in the ally. I had my keys so I shabbily opened the door knowing that Bayo would either be out late without me or sleeping soundly. I wished he was out late because I was in the mood to disturb his peace. I did like Bayo not just as a friend but as a flat mate. Neat guy I must tell you. Sensitive too.
So I bring out my keys to unlock the front door. As I opened it, strangely a lady’s hand bag laid on the ground close to the stool that served as our priced furniture. There and then I knew Bayo wasn’t alone. The smirk on my face had it all. I could have just gone to my room and acted like a gentleman but the liquor in me pushed me to do something unusual. What is the worst you could think I would do?
I was practically bent Over peeking through the crack of the door. Thank Goodness there was a crack. I know you may be thinking I’m a pervert but that night was the first and last time I did something as clumsy as that. Under the influence of liquor, a man may be many things but of all of them I was really watching my homie working out with his kind girl.
The gentle moans from the yet unknown lady was exhilarating. Thank God I didn’t missed much. As I strained my eye to watch I saw something like crisscrossed legs humping which to me was much more like a duel.
“I couldn’t be confused na”.
I saw the lady’s breasts all jiggly and Bayo, sucking the mercy of them for a second I thought I recognized the lady’s face since it seemed like I caught a glimpse at her face. For the sake of being a guy and for Bayo, I would have told you how Bayo’s male thing was working. I was having a hard on. All my sane sense asked me to leave but unfortunately, I was just glued to the sneak peak. Suddenly they paused for a while looking perpelexed and Bayo reassuring her probably to continue or change style or maybe for another round. They did continue till they came one after the other. A part of me felt weird and another part of me was horny. I gently half crawled and half walked back to my room. I unlocked my door and out of paranoia, securely looked for gaps on my room door in case Bayo decides a revenge. I didn’t even undress or look at myself in the mirror . I just slept off.
The following morning was a Saturday. I came out to look for something to eat just I did I saw Bayo having breakfast so I joined him. Neither of us had a conversation about the previous evening or about hanging out alone because of the argument. The flimsy one I told you about. Then all of a sudden Bayo speaks up from his phone.
“Bro you no try. Where you been go where person no fain you make we chill eh. That Nneka babe was kind enough to keep me company. She was so sweet to …”
There we go again his definition of a ladies niceness or kindness to him.
He was done eating. As he stood from the rickety table he paused to say something.
“Bro that thing wey you do last night was not brotherly. You for buy porn watch. You no even hush up say e sweet you for body”.
His face was disgusted. At that point I realized that both of them paused because they noticed they weren’t alone. I had already been noticed all along their “sexcapade” mehn I felt guilty.
I am laughing alone now. In my head though. Wondering if Bayo ever thought about it again. That was the only time we ever spoke about something queer like that. It wasn’t even something we should talk about I’m just saying. I remember that’s all.