My Classroom

My Classroom

Today I took time to study my class closely; to look farther into the casual-minds of people I’ve called mates for some years now, and I came to a conclusion. Let me tell you the story of my classroom.

The many things visible inside my classroom:

Uchendu enjoying himself peacefully with a bottle of Pepsi at the entrance. Timothy sees him, and runs to beg for a sip. Soon later a mini scene strats. Timothy is laughing loud because the supposed-Pepsi tastes just like Zobo;

Amaka, in a circle of her friends – Somto and Gabriella – the clique she always boasts off – they take joy taunting every other girl who isn’t in their league: any babe who doesn’t dress up to their high standard is an enemy, those who don’t dress well and do not worship them either are greater enemies;

Anderson, who comes to school only twelve times in a semester of which ten are exam days. He suddenly becomes a friend in these days of sudden school interest, and can possibly give me a private jet if only I have the courage to ask. He’s best friends with Liz;

Anwulika, who has vowed to never talk to me again till the day we graduate. This is because she got an E, and I got a D in Maths 301 during our last semester’s exams even though we sat together (Please, help me tell her I wasn’t the one who marked the paper?) I’ve tried to apologize but she doesn’t want to listen to me, and always uses the slightest opportunity to fall my hand in front of the class;

The guys – Magnus, Sylvester, Kelechi, Ugo, Nnamdi, and some other department’s guys from the next class separated from us by a thin wall, all digging it out with the talk about last night’s big match, consoling themselves over their ‘casted’ bets and the reassurance that the next gamble will be more successful;

Special shout out to all the department’s love birds – you might still make heaven, who knows;

Chika, the finest girl in the department, the only fine girl I know without a squad, a well known enemy of Amaka and friends because they refused to agree on who’s better between them to lead the squad. She’s actually beautiful but I don’t really care much after that fact,

Pastor Elijah, the guy everyone loves to avoid: the killer of every atom of fun in the class, always reminding you that Jesus loves you and hence hates your skinny jeans because you’re revealing too much of your body’s contour – LOL;

Sister Linda, she complements Brother Elijah, she’s the butter to his bread, always sitting with him on the same bench studying the bible with him (He he he!) and going for evangelism together. I wonder what he’d do without her;

Let’s go to the front of my class, ‘the den of the geeks from Greece’ I always try to do the maths in my head, I try to deduce who’s worst off from this squad (they all appear equal), not because I hate them or anything, but because they can’t help but look and sound awkward in everything we do in class, their worth isn’t known and their happiness not anyone’s business until it’s time for quiz or worst exams when the entire class suddenly realizes they exist and begs them incessantly for the slightest of answer to not get an F;

Liz, the self acclaimed finest girl in town, since our first year I’ve always wondered what’s so fine in her, I keep praying that God reveals that hidden truth to me (but until then). Liz (who’s full name is Elizabeth, but rejects it because of the stigma from her village people who call her Elizah!), is that kind of girl most of you have met at one point in your life, she’s always feeling too fly (Even Amaka and Chika no reach), because she has contested in all the top pageantry around school we won’t hear word again, I really hope she understands that all is vanity.

Before I forget this bunch of weirdos, they always walking together and doing weird things – I suspect they’re a cult, but no be my mouth anti-cult go here that suspicion from, God forbid bad thing. Shout out to you all weird gees (Bolu, Red head, Skin-guard, Sandals, and Fanta) I dey hail una, big bosses dem, even though I hope una no read this.

Who I’m I forgetting? Hm-mm … Should I talk about my lecturers, the strange ones … maybe some other time.

OK!… Here’s my humble class. (I almost forget to say, my course-rep’s name is Humble!)

Everyone should be able to relate to this tale: we all have our own Uchendu, Amaka, Anderson and all the rest, it’s not peculiar to any school in any particular geopolitical zone, it’s a general thing you get when you pack people from different walks of life into a space, they react and respond differently, we should learn to tolerate our individual differences.

Now I understand this, I have nothing but love for my class, and I can’t imagine a class without the weird gees, the beauty queen or even the drama queens, they all have their function and destinies,

I love you all, my ever noisy class.




Wait! Wait! I almost forgot myself and my crew. #TeamSilentGuys, we’re the quiet ones, and the most liable to enter heaven out of the entire class, we complement the ‘Terry G’ in the others.

Now I’m done.

Specially dedicated to Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka,

Pure and Industrial Chemistry Department, Class of 2016/2017.

PS: All characters here a fictional, but I’m sure we all can relate to them

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