Her Diary

April 30th, 2008.

I didn’t want to pen it down until it happened and it did. HE MARRIED ME!
Me! My name is now Lisa Williams. I’m a Williams now. It doesn’t matter that he was forced to marry me, that his father threatened to take away everything he’d worked for and also harm…that girl. Even now, I can’t bear to write her name in something that’s mine. He doesn’t love me and he loves her. But I won, I’m the one he married. I told her but she thought Love conquered all, the fool, money and power conquered all. I can’t wait to begin my life as Mrs Williams. Yay!

May 24th, 2008.

He doesn’t want to touch me, says he’ld rather spend time with his books and wine than to spend time with me. I musn’t give up! I’m pretty, a good hostess, we’ld have beautiful kids together. If only that…girl hadn’t shown up in his life, we’ld be living the perfect life.
Tonight, he’s going to come home drunk and despite the fact that he calls her name whenever he’s drunk, I’m going to take advantage of his weak state. Mom’s already wondering why I’m not yet pregnant. You’ld think three months to relax was too much to ask. Atleast I’m not the only one miserable. He is and so is SHE.

February 2nd, 2016.

Something terrible has happened. My father-in-law slumped and died at his desk in his office. We’ll be going home to stay for awhile and help out in whatever way we can. My husband, George, will be travelling first which is the next day, then I and the kids will join him later. But that’s not my concern, I’m not mean I’m just trying to…protect my family. That woman is going to be there, I found out from a friend that she never left the community, never married, but she sure made herself useful, built herself a little empire. Now she’s going to be there…with my husband. My George.
It’s been years but I don’t trust her. Love has eluded me but I remember the way they were together, how he worshipped the path she walked on. I’m scared, I know he’s married to me and has never contacted her since we left the community but that hasn’t stopped lots of men from straying. I have to get pregnant…it’s the only way.

March 20th, 2016.

We’ve been here for a month and the way George is acting he doesn’t want to go back to the city. He’s been acting weird lately and I just know it has something to do with her. Why won’t she let him be? But if I’m honest, he probably sought her out. The maid told me he’d been asking questions about HER.
That girl from the slums won’t take George from me. I won’t sit back and watch them humiliate me.

March 21st, 2016.

Oh my God! George just told me he wants a divorce. He wants to leave me and share custody of the kids. This is a nightmare! My nightmare come to pass. Oh, he hadn’t mentioned her at all but I’m not a fool. He’s leaving me for her, she’s probably laughing at me wherever she is.
My family, broken?
It won’t happen. I’ll never allow it. He’s stuck with me for life.

April 15th, 2016.

It’s done. Finally! By this time tomorrow the news will spread that she’s gone…dead. It’s been a bitter battle from begging my parents and George’s mother to speak to George, then George moving out of the big house to the bungalow. It might have happened in the compound but it had spread so that the whole community knew that I and George were having problems. The pitiful looks, the humiliation. I had to hear it from one of the maids as she gossiped with the other that he rarely spent the night in that bungalow.
All that is over now and this time I won again. A woman’s got to protect what’s hers and I did. Noboby messes with me or plans to tear my family apart. This is a secret that will never be told, what I’ve done will never be written in the pages of this book. At last, the love story of George and Sophia will be buried, never to shadow my family again.

April 30th, 2016.

George returned home, he never mentioned divorce again. We’re back in the city and he says we’re never going back to the community again. That’s fine by me, though I had to act sad I don’t think he was convinced. I also think he suspects me of Sophia’s death but that is something I’ll never reveal, he’s home with me and the kids, that’s what matters. He’s a good father and I’m a miserable wife. Ever since Sophia’s death, he’s never touched wine not even to sip, he has his own wing where I’m not allowed and he’s a better business man than his father ever was.
I’m so miserable, sometimes I wonder if it was all worth it. But like my mother would say, a perfect family on the outside is better than an empty house….

I never wrote this but he named our first daughter after her, Sophia. And from the way he treats Sophia you’ld know that she’s his favourite. Senior Sophia’s death only strengthened his bond with little Sophia.
I guess her shadow will always follow me and mine, I’ll never be rid of her.

7 thoughts on “Her Diary” by Vanessa's Writings (@Vanessa)

  1. simisolaade (@simisolaade)

    It must be terrible, living in another person’s shadow. It makes you wonder… Is it really worth it? Well done @vanessa for this beautiful piece.

    And I think it should be ‘…will be travelling first, which is tomorrow…’

  2. Love the concept of telling the tale in a diary form! Good one Vanessa. (as always! if I my add.)
    It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have tasted love at all. So, whatever Lisa may think Sophia won and will continue to win George’s heart especially through their daughter. Sad but real.

  3. Vanessa's writings (@Vanessa)

    Thanks for your comment, Simi!

  4. Vanessa's writings (@Vanessa)

    Thanks Timothy!
    Life is already unfair so it’s really sad the length people will go to achieve their ‘happiness’ not minding the people they hurt along the way. God help us in this race!

  5. The purpose of the journey is who we become!

  6. namdi (@namdi)

    * Between April 30th and May 24th, 2008 is three weeks, how come you calculated three months?

    * She already had kids, why was she eager to get pregnant–of what significance is the pregnancy? (I’m referring to the last sentence in the entry of February 2nd).

    I got confused when I read those.

    Nice write, though.

  7. Vanessa's writings (@Vanessa)

    Thanks Namdi… The first one, they just got married and her mom is already asking for a child so she’s whining that her mom can’t even give her three months to chill with her husband…because to the owner of the diary, it’s too soon to concieve.
    The second part, she feels that having another child will tie her husband to her side and remind him of his responsibilites to her and their kids….in essence, he won’t leave her if she’s pregnant-that’s what she thinks.
    Thanks for pointing them out, for those that might also be confused.

Leave a Reply