My Offline Meeting Disaster
Social media is a great media for learning and entertainment, overcoming those tedious moments. Also it’s easy to feign what you are not, without causing suspicion.
Like other youth in the world, I ventured into the virtual world and my virtual family got me addicted to wasting my money on subscriptions, I find it hard to go a week without them.
As time went by, I thought it reasonable to meet up with some of these ‘friends ‘ I’d made online.
I did meet some, who turned out to be entirely different to what they’d professed to be.
My offline meetings went well and I loved speaking to my virtual friends face to face. That is until my last meeting which has completely changed my mind.
I received a Facebook friend request and accepted it.
After a few “Hello, how are you doing” it changed to “I love you”.
As fate would have it, we were from the same town, this person knew my family very well, therefore he knows much about me.
Our conversation continued………
Him: Hello dear, How are things going?
Me: Fine, thank you.
Him: Are you still in town?
Me: Yes, I’m always at home.
Him: I will be home this December and I would like to see you.
Hope your boyfriend won’t be there, I don’t want any embarrassment.
Me: No problem (in my mind – you are giving me orders like a disciplinarian).
Him: I just want to know if I’m safe, because I can’t share you with anyone.
Me: Hmmmmm…. (seeing trouble ahead – did I ever agree to be yours, Fikayo, you have taken a chance).
Him: I really like you, as you seem know so much about many things. You also look different from other girls in town.
Me: (Trying not to blush) Thank you! I don’t know why you said that, but thank you anyway.
Him: I love you dear!
Me: No reply.. (He doesn’t even know how to approach a girl online).
Him: Hello dear.
Me: No reply.
Everyday – for some weeks.
Him: Are you not going to answer?
Him: Why are you not replying to me, have I offended you?
Few days later, my phone rings…
“Hello, who is this?” I said.
“So this is how cool your voice sounds”, was the response from the caller.
“Thank you! But who are you?”
“You decided to shun me, didn’t reply to my message on Facebook. Its not fair to be like that to me, is it such a crime to love you?”
“Oh Ken (Fictitious name) it’s you. Don’t be expect anything from me, I am not ready for love, you are pestering me. I don’t know what to say in reply to you and have no intentions of doing so”.
‘But I love you’ are all that gibberish went on until I ended the call.
“What on earth is going to come next?” I asked myself.
Turned out to be the beginning of my predicament.
I made up my mind to start replying him and that gave him the go ahead, he started to lord it over me.
He’s back in town. He said he’s only two streets away from where I live.
There was no way I could avoid him, even if I tried. I began planning a strategy to avoid him, but it was all futile.
At around 9:45pm, the phone rings and it was my enigma of boyfriend.
Him: You didn’t even bother to call me.
Me: Sorry, I don’t have airtime. (for your mind, it’s a crime to recharge me)
Him: Ok, I am in your street now and I can see your house already.
I will stop by to give you a goodnight kiss…….
Me: Laughing – You are joking, aren’t you?
Him: I am serious.
Me: No, I don’t believe you.
Him: I will get to your house soon.
Feeling bad, could he be serious?
It’s too late for a visit now….
I don’t want to believe him.
But what if he is coming?
All my brothers are in house and mum too. Look at the time!
Its almost ten, he must be joking, please leave me alone.
That was the conversation between me and myself.
As I tried to relax a call came in and your guess is good as mine.
Him: I am behind your house – the words I heard on the phone.
Me: What? Are you serious? I thought you…….
He’d ended the call.
I ran out of the house in a rush, not even sure of what I was doing.
I looked up, down, left and right, I didn’t see him.
Then I tried calling him back, suddenly there he stood, like a school boy trying to lure his girlfriend to go out with him.
“Come inside the compound now” I managed to get the words out somehow.
He came inside, my greatest misery began.
“It’s 10pm and a normal Christian girl shouldn’t be standing outside with a guy at this time of the night”. The voice in my head tried to caution me.
It will be brief and I’m safe in the compound, I assured myself.
Ken was different from what he seemed online. He’s short and has this peculiar look, not handsome, neither ugly, altogether not my type.
Him: Good evening Fikayo, how are you doing? You thought I was joking.
He smelt of menthol sweets and I didn’t need anyone to tell me he was trying to cover the smell of alcohol, but it didn’t do the trick.
I couldn’t stand the dreadful stench coming from his mouth.
Me: Good evening Ken, yes I thought you were joking.
It’s very late and I wasn’t expecting you here at this time of the night.
I felt bad, I knew I was dealing with a scamp, all I could think of at that moment was, please go away already, please.
I could see his eyes looking me all over. His gaze was continually on the little “sisis” on my chest.
You sure are pretty, he said as I recoiled inside.
Him: Fikayo, I thought you were crippled when you said you have health issues. It doesn’t seem to look that way to me.
Ten minutes later, we were still talking about “I love you”.
Him: I love you despite your problems Fikayo.
Drunk as he was, he suggested sponsoring and following me to a Church for healing.
He froze my heart when he mentioned his age, he’s 33 and told me he’d led a rough life, but now wanted to settle down and thought that I could help him because he loved and needed me.
He sounded honest, even though I never imagined myself at 23 dating someone ten years older.
Who wants to settle down at 23 years of age, when there are so many things to achieve and lots of fun to have as a young, single lady.
I was about to say something, but couldn’t get the words out as he moved in to kiss me. I couldn’t slap him, but I tried hard to resist, he just went on trying.
Now I was embarrassed and really scared. I hated him for what he was doing to me.
I spoke sharply,- no this can’t work, I’m not interested and you are definitely going about things the wrong way.
For one brief moment in our conversation, which had lasted about 45 minutes, my words seemed to enter his alcohol filled brain and he got the message.
“He looked into my eyes and said he loved and wanted me in his life”.
All I could think was – please just go and leave me alone.
Let me at least kiss you, those were his last words as I said ‘Goodnight’.
I felt weak and terribly shaky, I knew everyone was going to make fun of me when I got inside.
I prayed no one was listening or watching from the window, as is the custom of my family.
Inside the house everyone was quiet, I felt relieved.
My big brother gave me his “what are you turning into look”. I looked away but could feel his eyes following me.
Ten minutes later, a call came in and it was Ken.
Him: It was nice meeting you and I love you the way you are, would you have a baby for me?
His words disgusted me, I didn’t reply, ended the call and went into his inbox, rained heavy advice for him and told him I would never have anything to do with him again.
I cried, I felt I had presented myself too cheap. What was he thinking? If we hadn’t have met in my compound there’s every possibility he’d have tried to rape me as he looked very strong and hefty.
Was I stupid? I think I was!
The thought of it makes me shudder and grit my teeth.
I made up my mind not to have any offline meetings again unless I was in a very safe environment.
This was my experience of an offline meeting.
I know some who have had good offline meeting experiences.
I’ve had my wonderful experiences too, met some and we got on really well.
It can be fun or disastrous.
I would like to hear of your experiences too.
I want to know if you think I was at fault, did I encourage this behaviour in the man, or maybe I just didn’t understand his intentions.
Please let me have your opinions on virtual meeting turned offline meeting.