Hello Everyone! I hope you’ve been enjoying this series so far! It gets better!
I don’t like to remember that day, I felt terrible. It was a mistake. It just didn’t feel right. I put my foot down and made it clear to Jamilla that it was the first and last time. She felt bad and blamed herself, she kept apologizing. But I made it clear that we were both at fault. I couldn’t continue living like this, my conscience wouldn’t let me rest. I was tired of living a make believe life. I knew that I was better than this, greatest lived within me and was pleading for expression. I just didn’t know how to let it out.
I made up my mind to make some drastic changes. I stayed back at school to take summer school classes. I also took up a work study job on campus, I chose to work at the library. I was determined to make up for the past year. My job gave me the opportunity to study without distractions and make some money while doing it! That’s what you call easy money!
By the time I got back to the room every night, it was really late so I’d shower and sleep. The friendship between Jamilla and me dwindled, we exchanged greetings and had small talk. She still partied, drank, and smoked but no longer involved me. And I was cool with that.
Deep down within me there was a beckoning that I could not explain. I just knew that there was more to life then what I’ve been experiencing. I knew that I didn’t have to be a victim of situations and circumstances.
For the first time in a long time, I got down on my knees and prayed one faithful night. I really didn’t know what to say, “Good evening God…it’s me, Iwalewa. I’m sorry, I know that I’ve messed up but I need you. There’s a void and I’m sure you know what can fix…” I began to wail from the depths of my soul and couldn’t continue praying, I drew my knees to my chest and just sat there…crying uncontrollably.
Bukky had a long week, she needed to rest like never before. As she was about to turn over and enter into deep sleep she felt a nudge in her spirit to pray. At first she laid there unwilling to respond but the nudge got stronger. She rose up from her bed and obeyed. She didn’t know what, who, or why she had to pray so she started by praying in tongues. Thirty minutes into prayer, her daughter Iwalewa came to her mind. She was tempted to get afraid but she preserved in prayer. Her prayers got stronger and louder.
“Father in the name of Jesus, I place Iwalewa before you. I declare that it is well with her, no weapon fashioned against her shall prosper. I declare that she is preserved from the corruption of this generation, she is for signs and wonders, she’s the head and not the tail, above only and never beneath. Her path shines brighter because she’s your righteousness. No harm befalls her because she dwells in your secret place and abides under your shadow. She is taught of The Lord and great is her peace. She will never walk in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stand in the way of sinners, she will never sit in the seat of the scornful in the name of Jesus…”
Bukky continued for about an hour until she felt at peace. She trusted God that he would make his Word good in Iwalewa’s life. No matter how far she may have strayed from his Will, her faith was in God and she believed in the power of prayer to transcend distances and change things. She would not be moved. After praying that night, she made up her mind to go on a seven day fast to continue to pray for Iwalewa, trusting God to perfect all that concerned her.
To be continued….