Cloud of Deceit

The SURPRISE proposal.


Ruqqaiya smiled for the 100th as she stroked the screen of her phone, it displayed a text message which she read over and over again.

‘Hi Ruqqaiya, meet me at Cupid’s Nest, 12pm sharp, table no 07, it’s a matter of our future.’ It read, this might look like a normal text message but Ruqqaiya knew the message behind the words.

She and Sani had been dating for the past three years and her family had been on her neck for marriage, at 27 in a Muslim home she was obviously getting late. Her younger sister Safiya was already engaged and her mother has since the day Safiya’s suitors came been harassing her verbally as to how she makes bad choices of men. But she alone knew how much she loved Sani and how he loved her back, he has always made her feel special he called her bae and she preferred the Arabic word for lover habibti.

As she went into the bathroom to run herself a scented bath with numerous bath jells she went back on memory lane on how they had met.

It was at a friend’s friend wedding, she was not wearing the uniform ashobi which made her stand out, she had gone because her friend Leila won’t stop begging her. She had insisted that there would be thousands of cool, actually cool Muslim brothers there. Ones that schooled abroad and speak good English, ride in BMW’s, Ferraris, Range Rovers and Benz. Brothers with style that knew the difference between a Ralph Lauren  shirt and Pierre cardin shirt. Brothers that wore Hublot, Rolex and Chris aire wrist watches not the ones that wore short trousers, kept unkempt beard and had horrible mouth scent from over fasting.


So she wore something Leila chose, which was overly sexy but not half as sexy as Leila’s whose boobs threatened to explode.

She would never forget the way Sani kept looking at her, his eyes trailed her that she missed steps. He got her number from Leila who approved saying this is the kind of brother one should end up with.

‘You see he drives G-wagon .’ Leila had said in between mouthfuls of the jollof rice they brought back from the wedding, they didn’t eat so as not to spoil their make up and become less attractive to the cool Muslim brothers.

‘I drive porsche  too which is more expensive.’ Ruqqaiya said.

‘I know, more reason why you should agree, see that guy sexy die, see all the packs ahhhh I wish it was me he toasted sef.’

‘You can have him na, abi I don marry am.’

‘Ehhen you dey craze ruqzy, this guy wore hublot on his wrist, only Arabian princes wear that.’

‘Leila abeg Jay z has it too, is he arabian besides that Sani guy creeps me out, did you see the way he was staring at me, do you even know if he fears God.’

‘Mumu, that is how you will go and marry one mallam, everyone fears God.’


So she agreed and their first date was at Cupid’s Nest, on table no 07, he took her there on their first anniversary too. Then they were still chaste couple doing the abstinence thing but that day the way he kissed her rocked her the core she knew he meant business and not just the normal smooching.

So she confided in Leila.

‘Wait O!!, are you saying that for one whole year you guys have not done it? Leila said when her friend told her of her dilemma.


‘Ahhh what if he cheats, you know men can’t stay celibate, see you need to put a hook on your man, something that is going to make him always long for you.’

‘But Leila, I can just give myself to a man, you know our religion forbids it and what if he doesn’t marry me at the end of the day.’

‘Did you marry all the other men, and as for the religion this and that you’re contemplating it yourself else you won’t even tell me.’

‘But I have never you know.’ Ruqqaiya said shifting on the soft fluffy sofa in her room.

‘What at 24, nawa for you o, you use padlock?, hehehehe even better use it to tie him down, next thing you know he is sending his people to your house for introduction.’

‘Are you sure.’ Ruqqaiya asked tentatively.

‘Yes na.’ Leila answered with full confidence.

So with Leila’s advice Sani got ticket to the candy kingdom, she felt wrong but it all seemed right, to herself she said ‘I actually waited long enough some do it from 16 sef.’


She got out of the tub and headed to her room, she took time to apply her moisturizer. She emptied her closet on the bed, then she got the perfect dress, she had ordered it online sometime ago out of boredom, it was just perfect for the business about to go down on table no 07 at Cupid’s Nest.

Her make up was light but serious, finally she could feel equal to her sister who actually disapproved of Sani calling him a player.

‘If he is serious he should get to know your family but he hides from them, it means he is fake.’ Her sister had said when the topic of Sani had accidentally popped into their conversation.

‘We are taking things slow, we have a time plan.’ She had lied.

‘Hmm but don’t allow him to you know na, because….’

‘Shut up are you the senior or I am the senior.’

‘Sorry o!


Her sister was now engaged to someone who comes in and out freely of their house, she hoped she and Sani would be like that too but she knew things were about to change, he was going to propose, just like in the movies ohh she was excited.


After strapping her seatbelt she spread her hands upwards thanking God for making her see that day, Sani had been aloof for sometime but she knew now he had been planning a surprise proposal else he wouldn’t ask her to come to their special spot, it wasn’t any of their birthdays or even their meeting anniversary.


She got to Cupid’s Nest and sure Sani was seated there, on the same spot where they had their first date three years ago, the same place they celebrated birthdays and anniversaries, today history will be created as they would have to tell the tales to their children and children’s children. Sani looked dashing as usual, with all his expensive clothing and sexy beard.

‘Hi.’ She said as she sat she was trying with great difficulty to hide her excitement.

‘Hi, you look ravishing he said with a dull smile which she interpreted in her mind as surprise hider smile.

She blushed On the compliment.

The waiter served her an iced tea which coincidentally was what she had on their first date.

‘Just like our first date, you had ice tea too.’ He said.

She smiled inwards, how wonderful it would be to have someone who knows what you te drank three years ago she thought inwards.

He seemed to be struggling with something, she hoped he was not having second thoughts about proposing, men usually got cold feet when it came to commitment.

‘You got my text message.’ He asked staring past her.

‘Yes.’ She answered noticing that he was avoiding her eyes.

‘Well you know are an amazing woman…… ‘He paused her eyes were fixed on him.

‘See Ruqqaiya We have to stop seeing each other.’ He said blatantly.

‘I don’t understand.’ She murmured.

‘I mean we should end our relationship, we are breaking up.’ He said.

She just glared at him.


13 thoughts on “Cloud of Deceit” by Amina Idris (@ameenaedrees)

  1. This is serious. I can’t wait for d nxt episode. Write soonest.
    Thumbs up!

    1. Tnx @chijy, I will try to post it soonest.

  2. men are full of lies! sowi ruqzy, it’s one of those things. shit happens. As a yoruba babe, I’ll gladly correct you, that word is aso-ebi not ashobi. lool

    1. Shit happens o, aso-ebi lol.
      Tnx @shovey.

  3. It’s been really long I read @ameenaedrees but it’s obvious her writing is becoming more and more refined, redesigned, resculpted, repolished, and redecorated…

    This one good sha :) :):)

    1. Owwwww its been a long time @innoalifa, nice to have you visit.
      Tnx for the lovely comments.

      1. You’re always welcome, @ameenaedrees :)

  4. This guy is really a player why breaking up with her tho.

    1. A player he is, the reason for the break up would be revealed in the subsequent episodes.
      Tnx @majiri.

  5. Dashed hopes…Ruqzy babe,leila was wrong. You don’t “tie” a man with *that*.

    1. Hmmmm some one should help me tell her o, Leila was wrong. You don’t just a tie a man with that.
      Tnx @eberenwosu.

  6. This is interesting. I will be following..I wonder why Rukaiyah shouldn’t have known better when naija gals are throwing away their ‘naivety’ these days…SHINE YOUR
    You’ve started this well @ameenaedrees , don’t delay in posting the next installment. I spotted some typos could check them yourself. I would prefer if you had inserted commas into some sentences too. Take for example,
    ‘…how wonderful it would be to have someone who remembers what you drank TE three years ago she thought inwards.’
    I don’t know what you meant by TE there, that should be a typographical error. Also there should have been a comma here ‘….drank three years ago (,) she thought inwards.’ There are some cases like that too at the earlier stages of the story.
    Check this out, “…he has always made her feel special (,) he always called her bae..”
    A comma would have been better there too. Maybe you’re afraid of putting excessive commas as many writers(including me) are most times guilty of. Next time, ‘double’ proof reading would do. You deserve plaudits though, I wouldn’t write half of this…lol. I’m considering posting some prose here too for the first time, but did you do well.

    Well done.

  7. All these comas , I bet they would find their places in the next episode.
    Tnx @praize.

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