Strange Love

Strange Love

Woke up early not to miss the first bus. Mondays always full of traffic. I wonder how my first day at work would be.

I sat beside the window and stared outside.

Then he entered and stood. I couldn’t help but stare at his tallness and handsome face soon i notice him staring back.

I looked away shyly. Sneaked glimpses of him so i wouldn’t get caught and i’ll find out he’s staring at me just the same.

We started the eye contest and soon started to smile. And i knew i felt something for this stranger but was unsure of the feeling.

Bus stops passed and i wondered where my stranger would alight

My stop was here felt sad i wouldn’t get to know this stranger who have become friends with.

Then i noticed him walking right behind me and i smiled even more.

He walked up to me and said “I don’t think i’ll let such a beautiful face leave without getting her contacts.”



4 thoughts on “Strange Love” by KellyShor (@Kellyshor)

  1. MY THOUGHTS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS IN BRACKETS.LET’S DO THIS….Woke up early not to miss the first bus.
    Mondays(I DON’T KNOW IF YOU WERE TRYING TO CREATE A DRAMATIC EFFECT.IF YOU ARE,I WOULD SUGGEST THAT YOU ADD A COMMA AFTER MONDAY.IF NOT THEN YOU COULD JUST SAY “MONDAYS ARE ALWAYS FULL OF TRAFFIC”)always full of traffic. I wonder
    how my first day at work would be.
    I sat beside the window and stared
    outside.
    Then he entered and stood. (HE ENTERED AND STOOD?I DO NOT UNDERSTAND)I couldn’t help
    but stare at his tallness and handsome
    face (YOU CANNOT STARE AT SOMEONE’S TALLNESS .YOU STARED AT HIS TALL FRAME)soon i notice him staring back.
    I looked away shyly.(YOU HAVE BEEN USING BOTH PRESENT AND PAST TENSE AND I THINK YOU SHOULD STICK TO ONE) Sneaked glimpses of
    him so i wouldn’t get caught and i’ll find
    out he’s staring at me just the same.(SEE WHAT I’M SAYING?)
    We started the eye contest and soon
    started to smile. And i knew i felt
    something for this stranger but was
    unsure of the feeling.
    Bus stops passed and i wondered where
    my stranger would alight
    My stop was here (,)felt sad i wouldn’t get to
    know this stranger who have (WHOM I’D BECOME FRIENDS WITH)become
    friends with.
    Then i noticed him walking right behind
    me and i smiled even more.
    He walked up to me and said “I don’t think
    i’ll let such a beautiful face leave without
    getting her contacts.”(IF I WERE YOU,I’D MAKE IT MORE DRAMATIC”HE WALKED UP TO ME AND DAMN!THAT BARITONE”I DONT THINK………”.)VERY POETIC AND LOVELY PIECE.KEEP WRITING!

  2. Nice plot, though your narrative technique has alot to be desired. Won’t comment about the errors cos someone has done that already. Make it more dramatic. Let sparks fly in the air next time when we read a piece like this feom you. More creativity to your pen.

  3. @anastasia what do you mean by a dramatic piece?
    @thaprince thank you…hope i do better next time

  4. I mean something like intense

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