Diary of a Rogue Priest: Schism in the Church


I still haven’t heard from Shiri and I am beginning to have the jeepers and creepers. What the hell could possibly be wrong?

Anything could have happened to her. Anything!

Her phone has been off, and whenever I call her office I’m told she is not there. Well, I don’t doubt her even for a minute, but this disappearing act of hers has left me no choice.

Could she be playing me? What do I care? After all that’s what I am – a player.  I juggle them, women, like a juggler. And I break their fragile hearts big time because I never want my secret life to come out. Only Sister Batel, and the two choir girls I have had the pleasure of sweet-talking out of their knickers, know about me (that I am a priest).

What if I leave the Church? I would be a welcome lost sheep in the Reformed Catholic Church, or Bishop Emmanuel Milingo’s Unification Church. I won’t be the first, and definitely not the last. Why live my whole life a lie, putting on priestly garb with the tag of chastity when what I actually am is an ugly, sinful and immoral motherfucker?

Oh, and this reminds me. Reforms are the talk in town. From the Kenya Police to the Vatican. Pope Francis is one hell of a ‘good guy’, if I may quote him. It’s a debate that has been going on for long. The Pope’s religious tolerance has led to right wing separatist groups in the church. The insurgents are holed up somewhere in North America, a secluded monastery outside Nova Friburgo in Brazil, readying themselves to declare some kind of a Christian jihad against the pope. They are an ultra-conservative lot who still thinks we are living in the world of 2000 years ago. For God’s sake, we are in the digital age, and they should either fuckoff if they can’t upgrade their systems to Version 2.1.015 or just toe the line.

There is also another section of the clergy that has been campaigning for reforms since the first Pope was interred. They want married priests in the RC, the Church to soften its stand on contraceptives and family planning, abortion, homosexuals, and women priests/popes (the future of the church); the idea of a more political Church and the Church to have its own security forces, not just the Swiss Guard. This has led to emergence of splinter groups in the church. This is where Pope Francis belongs. You see, the Catholic Church may be staring at another schism. Perhaps it is.

That’s where SMORC comes in handy. Those opposed to reforms, or are against the Pope, are eliminated. However, SMORC is affiliated to no particular group, though it is a creation of the Catholic Church. We serve whoever pays, but if shove came to push, the Pope wins unless we join the resistance and coup coup d’état’ him.

Over the years, Jesuits have been the closest to SMORC. Jesuits have their own inclinations and ideals; they want a church that is militarily enforced (Top Secret, don’t say I said that), change and liberalism. For over 450 years they have fought for new and unexpected ways to serve – and ready to do anything – to advance their mission in the Church. Their doctrine, sadly, originated from the pagan mystery religion of ancient Babylon. They are seekers and disseminators of knowledge, and above all they have a much darker history that many people do not know about.

Many deaths have occurred – mysterious deaths, murders and accidents (and I ain’t saying SMORC claims responsibility; don’t quote me!) – none of them has ever been solved. I doubt whether they would ever be. Even the American super detectives or CIA, FBI, MI6 or any other much famed investigation agencies has ever come close to the truth.

Conjecture and speculation has been the notes of most investigators, and when there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel even for an oncoming train they close the cases. They point fingers at Jesuits, or the inner circle, the conclave, claiming politics and thirst for power.

The victims, or the casualties, never suspect a thing. Even the holy spirit of discernment shows them nothing. They dine with us, the killers, never suspect a thing. They are our confessors, and we are theirs. We know them inside out, but they know what we want them to know. We are Vicars of Christ together, men and women of the cloth, mouths of God to His people, until they get to know us when it’s too late. Actually, they stare into our eyes as they breathe their last, realization plastered all over, but go to grave with the TRUTH.

That’s how I ended up being charged with the murder of Bishop Luigi Locati. It’s not that I made a mistake, nay. Some smart-ass guy somewhere, a detective with I-want-to-right-the-world attitude, and probably who has read so much detective fiction, tried to connect the dots, came up with fictitious facts (probably borrowed from Robert Ludlum, Jeffrey Archer or James Patterson) and Un-Circumstantial evidence and suspected me. Or somebody from Vatican tipped them off.

But that’s the far they get. The next hearing of my case would be in July. I already know how this case would go – I will be acquitted due to lack of evidence to convict. Nonetheless, I think I should stop this before it’s too late, when I still have life left for me to start all over again.

I ought to stop being used, killing in the name of the church, and the Pope. Perhaps my excommunication would be latae sententiae (automatic), run in to the arms of Shiri, like Bishop Milingo ran into the arms of Maria Sung, and join the married priests’ community in condemning the Catholic Church.

Or I will join the Reformed Catholic Church (I can’t start my own church) and Fr. Shiundu will wed Shiri and I and live happily thereafter.

But until that day, I am an assassin for the church.

3 thoughts on “Diary of a Rogue Priest: Schism in the Church” by Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

  1. Wow, I love this, twas kinda expository for me. I’m following!

  2. Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

    @praize, thank you for reading. Check out the earlier stories.

  3. Classical Catholic Church… Good one.

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