Tick Tock

Tick tock



Tick tock. You can hear your biological clock ticking. And it’s going so fast the sound almost deafens you. You do what most desperate women do. You go clubbing. The first night, there are more women than men. Women who are in the exact same shoes as you’re in. All but two of you spent the first dozen years of your matured lives building careers, then you spent the next five unseating your directors and taking over their spaces. Just last year, all but two of you realised you were alone. All but two of you are desperate.

The men would not bite. They circle the lot of you warily, chat up the prettiest amongst you, retire into dark corners leaving you girls on display. You return home unattached.

The second night, the gender disparity is minimal. A guy in coke-bottle glasses chats you up but when he gets a closer look at the fine network of wrinkles at the sides of your eyes, he excuses himself.

The third night, you get lucky.

He is handsome the way only male models can be. He has close-cropped hair, liquid black eyes, full lips a girl would die for, and a six foot frame that bears up his body weight nicely. He makes a beeline for you, offers to buy you a drink, and tells you you’re the prettiest thing he ever laid eyes on. You’re not sure you believe him, but it feels nice anyway.

The next morning, he wakes up next to you on your bed, in your room, in your six bedroom house. You remember vaguely that he told you something about forwarding and clearing. But the last thing on your mind is what he does for a living.

Three months to the day, your room has become his, your home his, your cars his. He hardly goes to work. He prefers to sit in your living room, watch your cable TV, snack on meals made by your chef.

One night you return home to dinner by candle light and soft music. He treats you like no one has ever done, pulls out your chair, slips a rose into your hair. Then he goes on one knee and produces a ring. Would you marry him?

You are ecstatic. The gods must be smiling down at you at last. Tearfully, you say yes. Yes, yes, yes. He sits beside you and sorrow seems to engulf him all of a sudden. He tells you his business is not doing well. He’s had a bit of a challenge with customs. Several of his containers have been seized for no just reason and he needs some money urgently. If you would be kind enough to loan him. Not so much, just a million Naira. And not for long, two months tops.

You say yes. You don’t care if he ever returns the money. Love is all about sharing and you love him so much your stomach aches just thinking about him, about the future, about the cute litter of children the two of you will produce.

You hand him the cheque the following day. His smile is breathtaking and the lovemaking that night is fantastic.

For the next four days, he’s absolutely attentive.  He loves you with his body.

He doesn’t come home the fifth day. When you call him, he tells you he’s busy at the port, he’d try to see you soon.

Soon turns out to be eight days. Then off he goes again.

You’ve not seen him in three weeks.

You’re back where you started.

Your biological clock is ticking.

Tick tock.


16 thoughts on “Tick Tock” by Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

  1. Chai sounds true, the things that desperation drives some women to do.
    I always say don’t give alms to your boyfriend but……….
    Their money and their choice.

    1. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

      yes oh @ameenaedrees, these things do happen

  2. Nicely written. The woes of a “made” woman.

    1. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

      thanks @chimzorom

  3. ben ige (@benige)

    I really love this story.

    1. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

      thanks @benige for loving this story. Hope you enjoyed it

  4. I couldn’t stop laughing when I read this. Beautiful piece, very vivid descriptions. Impressive!

    1. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

      thanks @ibisonwachukwu. Happy you enjoyed it

  5. Ufuoma Otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

    Hehehehe that clock tho! Nice piece again. I loved the way you wrote it. Am sure when I get matured enough, I will understand that ticking clock

    1. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

      @ufuomaotebele, I’m sure you won’t have a problem with that clock in any way. Cheers

  6. Omena (@menoveg)

    Ufuoma, thank goodness there is a Mr. Right, u will not have to understand the clock. Lolz

  7. Kosnie (@Kosnie)

    Desperation at its peak

    1. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

      thanks @Kosnie for commenting

  8. ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

    Wonderful peice! The things Nollywood is made of. Iam a crazy Nollywood fan so anything I see that reminds me of it makes me an instant fan of said work lol

    1. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

      thanks @Ivie9ja for reading and taking the time to comment.

  9. Onu-Okpara Chiamaka (@Onu-OkparaChiamaka)

    You always amaze me with your stories. Very matured work. Thank you for writing.

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