A Naija Love Story

Benin people of  Edo State

Uyioghosa stood feet from her in awe. She was lovely! She sat under a tree. Hmm what kind of female  at UNIBEN would sit on grass under a tree. None of the fake Ajebor Aproko females he knew would ever try it.

She was reading . He now had reason to speak with her. It was his luck! He’d read the same book before! The Gods of love were smiling upon him. He approached her and whispered “Hello”. She smiled. He joined her on the ground lest he faint instead.

“Hi I’m Isoken” she said. He mentioned her book they then discussed it. She said she also liked writing, that some of her  work was on naijastories.com.

“Me too!”.  He was in heaven!

They discussed the poetic commentary of innoalifa, motherly advices of Ufuoma Otebele, the quirky humor of the Diary of the Nonconformist and the thrilling cliffhangers that left dees-hives fans yearning for more every Friday.

He  imagined marrying her in the future with her cuckoo beaded Ivie headdress and her shimmering oxblood wrappa as the women shouted Siwo!Siwo!Siwoooo! How she would be given to his father ceremoniously and  finally joyfully handed to him. Haba! He’d found his wife! Nevermind that he was only 19.

She excitedly asked him his username. “@Edo-tellsitall”  he said. Suddenly her face became painted with rage, he became confused and checked his breath. Maybe his mouth was suddenly  smelling? She jumped up, spreading her fingers and faced her palm towards his face. “Ozuwor! God punish you Ewu!”

“You! You insulted my work saying it was bland with no plot and no point! How dare you!” she turned, murmuring to herself  only stopping to turn and roll her eyes at him. He feared that she might turn winch and take flight right there on campus.

“Chei! This my big mouth!”

“I must still marry you!”he shouted

17 thoughts on “A Naija Love Story” by ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

  1. whitemosquito (@Whitemosquito)

    Lol! Hilarious!

  2. ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

    Thank you @whitemosquito lol

  3. @ivie9ja I cud relate with this so it added to the enjoyment of the read for me… The names, the ceremony, the location… But then this line happened… ‘He feared that she might turn winch and take flight right there on campus…’…there’s a disruption in the voice of the narrator as prior to that line, the english was impeccable, but at that pt, the narrator began to talk like the MC…e.g the use of winch runs against the narrative style especially as you didn’t dress it up in italics (or did you mean winch as a device for cranking?)…(Forgive my many talk sha…atleast I didn’t say the story was bland with no plot or point …and yes my username is not @Edo-tellsitall *winks*). Nice piece and Yes I laughed.

  4. ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

    @dees-hive the disruption was actually intentional, you know how at one point you can be completely composed and be at full command of the English language and then all of a sudden something shocks you into speaking pigeon or even another language all together. That was what I was going for here it’s possible that I didn’t convey that clearly as the original tale was 500 words and I shed a writers tear for every sentence that I had to cut and every word I had to delete. This was a major challenge for me *sigh*

    1. @ivie9ja alright then…since it was intentional. Writing under restrictions can be such a challenge but it has its rewards. Its a lovely piece. Report back to the house when you win the cash sha.

  5. Ufuoma Otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

    I feel like hugging you! Honestly you just made my morning! I need this scene in my life. Lol.. when the guy who wants you is the one who gas been giving u strong criticism on NS. I think all the ladies here will experience this moment somehow ooh. Very sweet how he said he will still marry her. Wait ooh is the guy actually on NS???

    I love the nameing of the character #Edoinvolvment…

  6. Kosnie (@Kosnie)

    Loved this…got me laughing all through, very hilarious post I must say

  7. ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

    @ufuomaotebele I’m glad to have added a bit of joy to your day lol no oh the guy is not real lol! @kosnie thanks dear I was hoping that I wasn’t the only one who found it funny @dees-hive emmmm cuz lets discuss that one at the next family meeting lol

  8. A good fiction should read real.
    This did. I was left trying to work out who Edo-tellsitall is, lol.
    Funny ending too.

  9. ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

    Lol @olajumoke he’s fictional but I’m glad he feels real to you lol

  10. Ugochukwu (@Ugochuckwu)

    is this also for the Minority contest??

  11. ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

    Yes it is @Ugochukwu I wasn’t going to enter but the morning of the 31st I finally wrote the story and submitted

  12. Folakemi Emem-Akpan (@Folakemi)

    laughing to myself, and it takes a lot to get me to do that. very funny and creative. cheers

  13. kingdavid (@kevweodogun)

    LOOOL, how come I did not see this until now, LMAO, my kind of yarn, “quirky and hilarious” thank you for the vote of recognition and for the amazing piece, let me go and find the guy that insulted your work and arrest him @ivie9ja lol

  14. Sorry this didn’t get picked @Ivie9ja.
    You know how much I like it.
    Is winch witch?
    I didn’t get to speak pidgin growing up, still catching up.

  15. ivie9ja (@Ivie9ja)

    Haha @kevweodogun thanks for volunteering to be my body guard lol. @olajumoke thanks for the sympathy I really hoped to get picked. Yea that’s witch. My pidgin is choppy too I’m just learning from my in laws and when I visit Nigeria because my pidgin really sucks lol

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