If Ebo Weds Ola?

If Ebo Weds Ola?


It is not as if the date was not properly fixed, nor that the couple had not dated enough to conclude resolutely they were ready to say, “I do.”

Mr. Ebo was a well to do business man. He had money, so much money; a stunningly rich philanthropist who had helped many a youth realize their potential. As such, fleets of Porche cars, exquisite and elegant ladies and gentlemen, and all leagues of glitterati would punctuate the red carpet before and after the wedding with spotlights everywhere. The Traditional wedding already took place a day ago and today everywhere blinkered in affluence whilst the paparazzi stalked the ostentatious celebs shortly before the service began.

Then came the pastor upon the pulpit to bless the nuptial:

The groom would perform the form of the sacrament by way of professing his love before the congregation. Both lovers were feverishly anxious to say the “I do” thing as if something might happen to stop them. Somehow, they had restrained themselves any carnal knowledge of the other the five full years they dated. They had occasionally longed for each other, but decided their forever is worth waiting for however, just for some strands of seconds more. Visibly, Mr. Ebo couldn’t wait for another futile minute because once this is done; it means they can anything for ages unending. Cupid had already pierced the hearts to pieces!

His smile was infectious as he unveiled his beautiful bride and kissed her. He then took her slender half-gloved left hand, to the vain wish of some still single and searching ladies watching from the pews. They smiled with the lucky girl, some might have swallowed gulps of “I wish he were mine” to ease the mood.

And with his theatrical baritone, Mr. Ebo aka Ebolistic said,

“I Ebo, take you Ola as my….”

As if there was a bomb blast, Pastor Glories Fastlge first flew over the long stairs that ascended the Refuge Church of Christ’s colourfuly decorated altar. Without counting the rungs, he vanished through the door, pushing down the two devout ushers that stood his ways like statues. The couple were perplexed, and thought perhaps heavens were caving in for one transgression or another. They turned to the congregation for an answer. “Like seriously?”

At once, a stampede in the aisles and every flank of the church made the would-have wedded sweethearts run for their lives too. Most guests forgot their cars as legs are often faster for quicker refuge in some odd moments like this. Shoes and hills threw up behind the fleeing crowds with reckless abandonment. Hon. Ray who managed to enter his car couldn’t even locate the ignition hole; so he hurriedly ditched his keys and ran off.

Now Mr. Ebo almost caught up with him, but he fired up faster beyond his strength shouting, “Hei, if Ebo weds Ola…God, thank God you’re God!”

 Spread the facts not the fear.

Dedicated to all those who stood by to save, and all those who saved others by dying in the cruel hangs of Ebola virus. You are real heroes! God rest your souls and give the living a rest of mind.

Ositadimma Amakeze, Author of The Last Carver

              Available on Amazon.com

9 thoughts on “If Ebo Weds Ola?” by ostar (@ostar)

  1. Hmmm, what can I say, wait and watch whether there will be another funny sequel of this.

    Nice rendition.

  2. Olubsax (@olubsax)

    hahahhahahahahah….i can’t believe this

  3. mojisola olajummy (@mjeezyfone)

    Nice one, I caught a word ‘Spread the fact and not the fear”

  4. @innoalifa I am thinking what to say too. Till then… thanks for reading.
    @olubsax me too. I ponder even as I wander, wondering, “If say Edo wed Ola eh?”
    @mjeezyfone yeah, it’s good to catch something at the end of the day. Thanks yo’ll for appreciating.

    1. @ostar, you’re thinking what to say abi? I can’t stop laughing fella :)

      Nice nice.

  5. kay (@kaymillion)

    totally agree with this……….Spread the fact and not the fear”

  6. ufuoma otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

    the title had me laughing…. nice read.

    1. @ufuomaotebele thanks keep smiling and praying. It will be over and then, even Ebo can marry whoever he wishes lol

      @kaymillion that’s the key Kay. A million thanks.

  7. LOL. A nice message in the best of ways. Thanks for making me smile, and for the ending note too.

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