road block

I was at the front passenger seat, eyes facing the window, it was pitch black outside as we rolled forward, I hear someone grunt at the back
‘I pray no1 pukes”
We were on our way back from the club, it was around 4am, tope drove the car, I couldn’t I was that wasted, my girlfriend with two of her friends were seated or rather slumped at the back, Isaac another friend was also there, lucky dude, 3 girls to just him, the ultimate male fantasy, pity he can’t take advantage, we all got wasted, I collected my monthly allowance, couple of hours earlier, I, tope, Isaac and Felicia(my girlfriend) were home just lounging when the idea hit us we could spend our friday night in a different way, the three main factors for a good thing were money, transport and girls, luckily for us…we had them all, felicia called her friends and they met us there, it was a legendary night, it really really was, we all got wasted, well expect for Tope, he was always the calm head, I covered all the expense, I had no idea I spent but I’m dreading knowing
Isaac grunts again at the back, tope’s eyes were firmly on the road, my eyes felt heavy but I wasn’t ready to give into sleep, I felt the car decelerate, I looked forward and saw a police road block, I exchanged looks with Tope, he shrugs and parks the car close to the roadblock, I saw a figure emerge from the darkness like a wraith, na I’m kidding not like a wraith, more like a bushbaby, na I’m still kidding, it was a police officer, or I think he was, he was caught in our headlights, I saw his features clearly, he was wafer thin, his uniform hung loosely on him, he had the egba 1 1 tribal mark, he also had the police scroll, I wonder if they are thought in the academy, we walks like a wraith towards the car, ok maybe not like a wraith, I just love the word, he walked towards the driver’s side
Tope looks at me and says ‘Be cool ok??’ I shot a look, ‘I’m cool, I’m always cool’ he rolls his eyes at me, by now the wraith was by the window
‘Good morning Officer’ tope says, ever the good boy, me, I just at him looking lost, the ignores the greeting and looks at tope first, then me, before looking at the back seat, his eyes lingered there longer than I should, so I took a look at the back also, one of the girl’s skirt had ridden up, it was a mini-skirt, when she stands it barely reaches her knees, now picture that skirt on her sitting down, no, not sitting down, more of sprawled recklessly with all her asset on full view, yup it was definitely enough for the wraith’s eyes to linger, wait do wraith have eyes??
‘Particulars’ he finally says, his voice booming, surprisingly, I expected his voice to be like a whisper
Tope reaches into the glove compartment and brings out the particulars, he hands it over to the officer, he looks at us, giving us a tough man look before flipping the particulars open, he looks at them with seriousness but I wasn’t worried, I it was my car, all my papers were all intact, he keeps flipping the papers, his serious look was now replaced with a worried look, I smiled inwardly, he finally looks at us again, a trimpuh look on his face
‘Where is your tinted glass permit?? He asks with a smirk
I smiled at him, I always kept those papers separate, I love the look on their faces when I dash their hope, I reach into glove compartment and bring out the papers, I hand it to him, this time the smirk was on my face, he looks at it, scowls and hands it back to us
‘Anything else officer’? I love being a smart ass
Come down and open the boot
The first fission of fear hit me, the boot is a no go area, I have an inkling of what was there
‘Officer, is there any need for that??’ I asked, my voice betraying my fear
‘My friend, open that boot’
I exchanged looks with Tope, we both knew what was in the boot, we both gingerly come down from the car and walk towards the boot, I try chatting up the wraith officer
‘Officer we are students,we went for vigil, we are on our way back’
He shoots me a look to let me know he wasn’t buying my bullshit story, tope’s hands were on the boot already, he slowly opens it, the smell It us, no it wasn’t a dead body, it was weed, premium grade weed I must say, we met his dealer at the club, we tested the product, it was good and he gave us a good price for it, it was a win-win situation till now
‘Officer Emeka what is happening there’? We hear another voice
I see a figure emerge from the darkness, I expected another wraith, but there was no way a wraith could have this officer’s pot belly, he waddled towards
‘Sir, we have drug dealers here’ officer emeka replied
‘Drug dealers ke’ I expressed my anger in shock
‘And I haven’t finished checking, there could be guns here too’ officer emeka finished
I rolled my eyes at him, he really can’t be serious, officer pot belly finally reaches us, he pops his head into the boot, he brings out the weed and tastes it, he nods his head
‘This is good stuff, where did you get it’
‘Somewhere’ I replied, still trying to be a smart ass
Emeka, throw them inside the van, we would finish this at the station, when we are through with you, you’ll know police is your friend’
‘No, no, no, ha officer, let’s settle this here ehn, no need for station’ I said, I have watched enough movies to know the police can’t be my friend in my current predicament
‘What were are seeing here is at drug trafficking’ officer Emeka said
‘At least 10 years with hard labour’ officer pot belly adds
They were double teaming on us, this not good cop-bad cop like american movies, both of them were the bad cops here
I look at tope, he was visibly frighten, I had to settle this
‘Officer, we can resolve this amongst ourselves ehn, settle it like good Nigerians’ I smile widely at them but the replied with a stony look
‘Emeka, talk to them, if you haven’t reached a conclusion in 5 minutes we are taking them to the station’ officer pot belly said as he waddled away
I walk towards officer Emeka still grinning widely.
‘Officer, let’s give you money for breakfast ehn’ I fish into my pocket and withdraw a 1k note, I folded it delicately and tried to slip it into the officer’s hand but he was unresponsive
‘How much??’ He asked still not smiling
‘Officer, it is breakfast money’ I was still smiling trying to defuse the tension
The officer was still straight faced
‘It is 1k sir, help us manage it’ I said with a laugh
‘Nothing less than 20k would get you out of this’ I looked at him in shock, he was salivating when he said the 20k
‘Oooofffficccerrr, haba’ I stammered
‘We are just students o, where do you want us to see 20k, my monthly allowance isn’t even up to half that amount’ ok that was a lie my allowance was three times that amount but there was no way in hell I’ll give this officer that obscene amount’
‘Officer, see what we can raise here is 3 thousand, our practical money, help us manage it’
Officer potbelly waddles back sweating, looking exhausted I don’t get how someone would be sweating 4am in the middle of the night
‘Have you conculded with them?’ He asked
‘They are diffcult sir’
‘Drive them to the station’
‘Ha officer, no na, no need for station ehn’ I was panicking at this point
‘Emeka get in that car, lead them to the station’
Officer Emeka walks towards the driver seat, I and Tope were begging officer pot belly profusely, then we saw the headlights, throught out our stay at the road block no car passed, the headlights advanced towards us, we all remained still and quiet, even officer Emeka walked back towards us, the car stopped close to us, the windows were down
‘What is going on here??’ The voice from the car boomed loudly
‘We are the ones asking the questions here’ officer Emeka retorts
‘Show us your particulars’ he adds
‘Do you know who I am?! The voice booms again
‘Oga, the police knows no-one’, show us your particulars’ officer Pot belly adds
I and tolu stood at their backs, it crossed my mind that we could make a run for it, no way they would catch us with me at the wheels but our particulars were still in Officer Emeka’s hand
‘You don’t want to do this, I’ll call your dpo and get you both fired’ the voice booms again
I look at the windscreen of the car and see all kind of stickers, police, airforce, navy, customs, the man was obviously connected, the officers didn’t see it
‘We would not be intimitated by cheap blackmail, we are officers of the law’
The man looks at them staring at the two officers before shaking his head, he removes a card for his breast pocket and hands it to officer potbelly
Officer, I see the fear and agitation on his face
‘We are sorry sir, we were just doing our job’ his voice quivering
The man keeps staring at them, he brings out a phone and makes a call
‘Get me the IG’ he says
Officer potbelly, now visibly shaken, starts begging profusely
‘Sir, there is no need for that sir, you can go, we are soo sorry for the misunderstand’
‘Ok, I’ll hold for him’ the man says still ignoring them
‘I have 3 children sir, 3 school fees to pay by the end of the month sir, please, it won’t happen again’
This time I actually laughed
The man stares at them, then drops the call, officer potbelly sighs in relief
The man drives away, they both turn and face us, I see the anger in them, there was no way they would let us go free now
Before I could finish, officer Emeka kicks me off the ground, I kissed the ground, I was 100% sober now
Then I saw a red light reversing towards us, it was the man again
‘What is going on here’
‘This boys sir, they are criminal, hardcore ones’ officer potbelly said with vigour
‘Let them go’ the man said
‘But sir, we found drugs in their car, if we search their house I’m sure we would find guns there’
The man brings out his phone again
‘Ok,ok ,ok sir, they can go sir, no need for a call sir..
I stand up groggily and walk back to the car, tope stood there just standing
‘Come on, let’s go’ I said to him
He practically ran to the car, the man zoomed off leaving us there with the officers again, they stared at us, I could feel their hostitily, we got into the car and drove off I felt kinda bad for them, so I told tope to go back
‘Officer potbelly’ I said when we were there
He moved towards me, I slippped the 1k into his hand and gave him a bag of weed
‘For your children’s school fees and breakfast ehn’ I grinned widely as we zoomed off


4 thoughts on “road block” by damilare oso (@damilareoso)

  1. Quite a story indeed…It was a nice read for men.

  2. Ihunanya (@LONE)

    Punctuation, typo and grammatical problem or is this a particular style of the writer? Meanwhile the story is typical!

  3. Nice story, really, but you can do more to work on your spellings and grammar.

  4. I like the story.
    The ride wasn’t always smooth but I enjoyed it.
    Thanks for the laugh @DAMILAREOSO.

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