A Man’s Thing (3 of 3)

Gloria had to take deep breaths before she knew where she was. She wiped her face and rose from the bed. The banging at the door continued and Gloria guessed it was her landlord. Many of the tenants had rumored that he took special interest in disturbing tenants that were about leaving his house very early in the morning.

Gloria looked at her watch after flicking the switch in the room on, it was just 6:30am and she wondered why the old man had decided to be the devil at such an awkward time.

“Gloria! Please you have to open up now.” The familiar deep voice sent a shrill down her spine as it tore into her ears like a bass guitar. It was not who she had thought it would be.

“Bami?” She exclaimed

“Open. . .Please” was his eager reply.

Gloria’s mind suddenly reflected upon the dream she had just woken from, and it seemed everything else but coincidental that Bamigboye was the man at the door. It made her think at once that the dream was not a dream but more of a revelation. Then she feared what was going to happen if the dream indeed was anything near the truth. She feared what her decision would be.

Gloria unhooked the metal catcher of her door, and she watched the visitor trudged in almost stumbling.

“The marriage cannot work Gloria.” He was panting exhaustively and had to beat his chest vigorously in order to gain his breath.

“Bamiboye, I . . .”

“No! Gloria, do not say anything now!” Bamigboye’s eyes became clouded with tears and Gloria stood staring, the sudden apprehension tensed her like heat. “You could have told me – you should have told me, why? Gloria, Why do you want to do this to me?” His look became more melancholic, and Gloria couldn’t hold back what seemed like tears in her eyes to. What was her offence? She wondered, and worse still, Bami wasn’t ready to let her ask. “I can’t help it now though, I -”

“What is it Bami? What should I have told you?” She took advantage of a little break in his speech to voice her bewilderment, but because her voice sounded too harsh than she had wanted, she added quickly, “Dear, is everything alright?”

“Gloria, you know you are not a lady, you should -”

“What do you mean, Olabamigboyega? Are you calling me a girl or what? Bami, what is the meaning of this, this morning?” If her dream – or vision – was true, then he and not she, was to blame for infidelity.

Gloria loved Bami soo much, her fear wasn’t really that she would not marry him – she wasn’t even considering that an option even though she still had much choice of quitting, her fear was rather that he would not be upset about  his impotency as she would also not mind it.

“Gloria, you know I love you with everything in my life. I only wished you had told me the complete truth before we got this far.” He cried wastefully, Gloria cold have savored the rare moment of this handsome face in tears if not that her eyes too shed tears like a running cassette.

“Bamigboye, if anyone should accuse anyone of not be sincere, then it should be me blaming you and not the other way round. Se ko si nkan ni aro yi sha? What made you think I ever kept anything from you? What actually is my offence?”

Bami’s tears reduced temporarily into deep sobs, “Gloria, I just saw the secret in a dream – in a vision. You are not a lady Gloria, you are not a girl – you are not female, I don’t even know what to call you, you don’t have female organs, you have a man’s thing!”

“Jesus!” Gloria flinched from him fearfully, as if he was a devil. It took seconds for her to understand that it could actually have been Satan playing tricks on them, by showing them both dreams that appeared so real and frightening. “Bamigboye. Me, a man’s thing ke? God forbid! I am a complete woman o. A COMPLETE WOMAN”

Bami’s eyes widened with stark surprise. He became skeptical about which side was true, the dream had been too real to be false, but her next words cut into his fears deeply. “See, Bami, I just had a dream that seemed so real too, it was two weeks after our wedding, I was upset that you had not touched me until, you confessed that you were impotent”

“Impotent!” He shouted defensively, instantly having the mad desire to rip off her clothes and show her right away that he had long hungered for her and he was just as fit to meet up that. “God forbid! I rebuke it in Jesus name.”

A sudden atmosphere of embarrassment swept through the room. It evaporated quickly with happy tentative smiles encroaching on their faces.

Bami cursed under his breath, the dream had made him so afraid, and above that, it had been so real, so real that Bami hadn’t changed from his pyjamas before heading straight to Gloria’s house to accuse her.

But was the dream a sign from God or the devil? From God could be a warning for them not to marry because they were not compatible for some reasons, or was the devil trying to play tricks on them, despite night and days of prayers and fasting? It couldn’t have been God though, because HE is not a wicked being; and HE knew how much Bami loved the damsel. Telling Bamigboye to out out of the love he had for Gloria was suicidal and it was the same in Gloria’s case too. So that telling them not to marry practically meant killing them both.

“Gloria, I promise you, in fact, I can prove it now and here that I am not impotent” Bami fell on his knees repentantly.

“Bamigboye, I believe you totally, you don’t need to prove it. But maybe you need to see for yourself that I am a full woman. I am not a transsexual at all. I do not have a man’s thing” Gloria’s voice sounded with high innocence. Her hands travelled impulsively and naively towards her light silk skirt, to prove it to him once and for all before the d-day.

He could have remained carried away and allow her to go ahead, but his religious conscious caught up with his swaying mind and brought him back to his senses. He ran towards her, and grabbed her hands.

She raised her hands in his towards the roof and they began to pray in a different language.


The dream was an obvious test of their love, and they did pass. The problem with most couple is the sincerity to the confession of “Together forever; for better and for worse“. This couple had actually prepared for more than the worse before even they married, and then no wonder during their fiftieth wedding anniversary, the testimony of friends, their six children and their thirteen grandchildren was simply, “We have never seen them quarrel over any matter. They are a perfect couple.”

If we prepared for the worst that could happen in our relationships, and we vow sincerely in our minds that, Come what may, I would never desert from my spouse and I will never hurt him/her, then thus, we would be building the PERFECT MARRIAGES that seem very rare.

22 thoughts on “A Man’s Thing (3 of 3)” by Levuz (@Levuz)

  1. …………………………………………………………………………
    ended quite nicely
    just suggesting
    you write

    1. @innoalifa, thanks for reading and for posting the comment. Please, by ‘writing more’, did you intend that I should have written more to the story or you were just speaking about general writing?

      1. I mean writing in general. Keep pushing on @Levuz!

  2. mendel martha (@ihenyengladysusile)

    so all the fuss were just dreams and I think this happened for real or am i wrong?well we know for one that the devil is a tricky biatch………….

    nice read……

    1. @ihenyengladysusile, thanks for enjoying the reading and then commenting.

  3. O-Money (@Omoniyi-Adeshola)

    @levuz, oh so this was all didactic, abi? Okay, well done.

  4. Beautiful. I loved the twist in this last installment.

  5. i knew the second installment was a dream, but this last installment …….nice ending.

  6. Hmmmm

    While it ended nicely…I wish you had written the last two paragraphs as a narrative part of the story that still carried the didactic message it intended. The way you deviated and made it read like a sermon took some shine off it. You could still pass the sermon across with a continuation of your fluid narration. Trust me, it has a way of leaving thought provoking residue on your reader’s mind.

    1. @Afronuts, My understanding of what you are saying sir, is that rather than being the preacher of the moral lesson in the story, I should rather have dramatized it in the story in the most convincing way, so that the readers would in fact be incautious that they have learnt a lesson that’ll stick forever. To this, You are very right sir! I must confess that was my initial intention, but I kinnda got very busy a.k.a carried away and then overlooked it’s importance. Sorry to all, and thanks to you

  7. So much to learn from your story!

  8. But let’s reflect on this; What if the first and second part of the story was real? What advice would you have given the man/woman ?

    @Omoniyi-Adeshola, @innoalifa, @uzywhyte, @Nalongo, @innoalifa, @ihenyengladysusile, @jayrume, @Afronuts, @LONE, @Omoniyi

    I believe this situation is more than mere story, as was painted in the three parts; many young spinsters and bachelors are just out there in such unbearable situations and thus at the verge of compromising their religious faith. Way Forward?

    1. @Levuz, if it was really the case that Bami’s wife had some fleshy chunk in between her thighs, the best thing to do may not be that easy. Indeed, it would be so surprising and even strange to have such an experience but in spite of that fact, if I were in Bami’s shoes and I really love my wife, I would go further to know the history behind the whole thing. This will help to us two to put things in their proper perspectives.

      The fact cannot be ignored that our era is that of immense development in physics and chemistry, biology and geology, geography and ecology, not under-emphasizing the medical sciences. In fact, since my wife has feminie features as her busts and hips are quite glaring, I would love to explore some medical possibilities. If a surgery can be done and everything will be back in full shape, we’ll go for it.

      Also, it is crucially not out of place for young people to put their religion in their scale of preferences when preparing for marriages. This puts into consideration all religions, whether Islam or Christianity, Traditional Religion or even Bahaism. While members of the same faith may want to marry among themselves, the fact cannot be gainsayed that the place of love is irreplaceable. Love transcends religion and it should be the first determinant of marriage or any true relationship at all. Love is a universal religion; the purest and truest.

      1. @innoalifa, WHAOOO! You are very right with the solutions propounded. Patience to understand cause, Consultation of medical practitioners and Religious balance.
        Perfect solutions with genuine words of encouragement. Thanks for sharing!

        1. @Levuz, you’re always always welcome!

    2. You can’t walk with God and miss your way. As long as you seek him after him concerning all that concerns you, you can’t make the wrong choice.

      1. @Afronuts, I completely agree with that.
        Thanks for sharing

  9. I concur with innoalifa, with the pace of technological advancement, the situation can remedied.

    1. @uzywhyte, good then. People in this situation can be rest assured that their case is not without solution then. Thanks for sharing.

  10. well done baba Levuz….. Very sensible story… Loved it right from the first part to the last…

    If their dreams were true…then I’ll advice them to serve God… Bami, a Father( priest) and Gloria a Nun…haha.. After-all what gives better Joy than serving God?

    …and is this story in any way related to Gloria and Mike Bamiloye…jes curious ….

    1. @Omoniyi, Wao! Gloria and Bami(loye) ke? Nooooo oooo, didn’t even think about them while writing. Name coincidence. Funny! but this guy is Bamigboyega not Bamiloye, so I hope I’m safe?Thanks for commenting sir.

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