LAMENTATIONS OF AN UGLY GIRL
After last week’s session of sex life of an ugly girl *covers face* can we at least come back to something decent? Thank you.
“Now that I know how to drive maybe I should ask if I could take a car” I thought to myself as I removed the keys from the ignition from the day’s training.
“Tolani, when did you say you are going back to school?” my dad asked.
“Iwo nko?” She said facing Tunde.
“I don’t know yet oo” he stylishly replied.
“This one will know ke, they have destroyed his life with kpekus” I thought to myself.
“I’m going to miss you people o especially you Tolani abi Baba Tosin” my mother continued.
“Emi nko, eni miss me?” He still had his Ibadan accent.
“Those cars will miss you at least you’ll let them rest”. My father replied.
“Now is the time” I thought to myself. “Daddy” I started, resolving whether to say it in English or Yoruba.
“Yes”, he replied without looking at me. English it is
“The Toyota car that you covered in the garage what happened to it?”
“I don’t know what is wrong with it but your mother wants me to repair it for her as though I’m the one driving it anyhow for her”
“I told you it’s the gearbox and it is your son Tunde that drives it most of the time, how many times in a year ko le ju emeji lo (it can’t be more than twice)” she concluded.
Before they could go on
“Daddy, let me take it to school nah, I can repair it if you want me to…..”
“Iro o, iwo a wa mu ori le express lai lai (no, so you can go and run on expressway abi…. Never)” My mother retorted.
“I know you want to but the risks are too much, one you have to take on highway first then if you get to school you’d have too many friends, too many outing, you will not concentrate on your studies” He ended.
Tunde who had been quiet all through then started, “You have not even learnt express driving, no driving license, you park in small places, even people that know all these things don’t ask to carry car to school”. He sighed.
Thank God, I was already done with dinner; I would have sat there and watched how they passed my case around.
Like every other pre-session period, Viv and I exchanged many pictures. Viv has an exquisite taste of fashion. She knows how to combine trends and knows what suits me. “A lot of jean and print is trendy,” she said over the phone. She is like my personal stylist and she knows how to get an unimaginable bargain. With that all done, I did my own personal shopping around Ibadan then headed for school.
Like every other time I return to school, I called the girls “Something definitely is wrong, this one that all of you are around” I replied Viv over the phone she told me they were all in school in Liz’s room. I got to Liz’s room to meet Liz looking gloomy and my mind sent over a thousand thoughts to my brain, good, bad and ugly.
“What happened to you?” I asked sitting on the edge of the bed opposite hers. P.S: I am a writer although I might not be able to tell my story adeptly but I can do that completely and truthfully.
LAMENTATIONS OF AN UGLY GIRL