Of Crushes, Vexations And Illusions.

I was right there lying on my bed with my brother’s well protruded soft round ”yanch” to serve as ”head-rest”. I laid, and with all that comfortability stuffed up in that ”behind”, I was vexed.
It wasn’t the number of rebellious tearing carried out by my siblings on my only beloved bed, just to shine their disgusting shoes that caused my vexation.
It wasn’t the sound that seemed to come from my brother’s ”yanch”, nor the ” Jesus-is-lord” odour that followed. It wasn’t the fact that my God-forsaking
mouth was half-opened when the ”miracle” occurred, neither was it the fact that my frigging brother smiled at me in perfect acknowledgment of his ” fart-to-kill-rendition”.
It was rather a girl crush, Ufuoma, who unintentional instigated my vexation.
I mean, amidst all the political vendetta,
economical oppression, ”brotherly renditions” and boko-haram’s unending bomb crusades which by the way, I find more terrifyingly rampant these
days, I was more bothered on my crush with this gorgeousness: Ufuoma.
Geez, but it happens you
know… When you find yourself more entranced by this particular person, you nearly don’t know what hits you. I wouldn’t say I know what it is yet. It was something I understood once, before it became something else.
So Ufuoma unintentional vexed me and
thank God this subject of vexation had saved my brother’s ”yanch” from losing all forms of its embodied softness…
”Why did she radiate so much charm-ness that I find my self at certain times of the day in certain illusions?” This was one absurd reason for being pissed off that afternoon in my room, on my
chopped bed and seduced by my brother’s
It was in this same vexation that I began to have these illusions of every one in the world being
one person: Ufuoma.
Imagine the whole population of the world being some one you crush on…
Take Cossy Orjiakor (My crush before
before) for instance. Think of a football match
filled with cossy-ies.. Bobby-filled players with bobby-filled referees running around trying to juggle a ball.. Mum and dad being gentle Cossy-ies. That LASTMA official that you so horribly despise now yielding visibly engulfing bobbies. Even your boss getting you to listen to instructions at least for once because of what
you see.
I better desist from plunging you all into further realms of my degenerated mind.
My point exactly being: its not just drugs,
and don’t you dare say its love. I think its
something in between love or insanity that
leaves one in such predicament where nothing else in the world matters, where her face lurks around at every little corner, where the thought of her just rids you of all your present worries.
And yet again, you haven’t the slighted idea how long such feelings tend to last.

21 thoughts on “Of Crushes, Vexations And Illusions.” by Gabriel (@GabrielNwogu)

  1. Some say it is lust @mah-obi. Nice read.

  2. Very nice read. What I love most is ur use of imagery in conveying the very words you want to say. Ur story forces me to engage my mind. Well written.

  3. an interesting read

  4. Mah-Obi (@GabrielNwogu)

    Thanks you all. I appreciate the read!

  5. ayobare (@ayobare)

    which Ufuoma? is it @ufuomaotebele…loool

    1. ufuoma otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

      @ayobare HAHAHAHAHHA……..your comment drew my attention to this ooh……mehn common , which girl wouldnt mind being some’s crush?

  6. ufuoma otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

    singing in my off key voice “ufuoma, ufoma, ufuoma i want to marry you……… gimme your love………LOL.

    This was a good read especially when i saw my beautiful name up there. Listen sha ooh, you cant be in lust with a girl named UFUOMA! its either you love her or nothing.

  7. Nalongo (@Nalongo)

    I like this.

  8. Mah-Obi (@GabrielNwogu)

    I’am beginning to like dis @ufuomaotebele of a girl… *hides face*

    1. ufuoma otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

      Lol………@GabrielNwogu what have i done to deserve the great honor??? common show your fine face oooo need to see it…….

      Anyways i never confirm if this piece was about moi shaaa but it is well.

      1. ayobare (@ayobare)

        hmmmn….@ufuomaotebele *just passing by

        1. ufuoma otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

          Lol…….am walking along side you oo

  9. Na real’FART TO KILL’ ewwwwww..

    ..i think it is lust sha…you will get over it lool

  10. Mah-Obi (@GabrielNwogu)

    ahh.. @ufuomaotebele Fine face? see washing! #I’mdead
    *raises fine face in slow motion… sees @innoalifa‘s finer face… returns to hiding.*
    @schatzilien wah sort o’name is dah bruv…

    1. ufuoma otebele (@ufuomaotebele)

      HAHAHAHAHA Such silliness.

    2. Its sis not bruv ..and it means sweetheart in German…
      Thanks for asking oh so nicely BRUV

  11. kay (@kaymillion)


  12. Mah-Obi (@GabrielNwogu)

    lolzz, @schatzilien my apologies mademoiselle, i didn’t realize a sweetheart were no bruv…

  13. mendel martha (@ihenyengladysusile)

    its obsession……

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