#loaug – Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl Episode 5

lamentations of an ugly girl
lamentations of an ugly girl

“Or should we just leave it as Liz and friends?” T-barz continued.

“No ooo, use Lines” Liz objected.

Startled, I shouted “lines”, the three idiots echoed after me, “Lines”

“Okay Lines it is then but the list isn’t out on paper so it’s our secret till then shey” He mouthed before taking his leave.

“Liz, why nah, you don start o” Liz and friends was better o” I protested.

“Okechukwu and daughters nii” Bola said almost immediately.

“Lines sounds good, we could just change the spelling. you know” Vivian said.

“Sure, nah” Bola added. I couldn’t hide the little joy in my heart.

Liz noticed “eh, eh, see you blushing o, don’t sha let those lines fall from your cheek ooo” she said. They all giggled.

“You all are jealous of them abi, don’t worry I’d take you all to Ibadan, you get even thicker lines from there, nonsense, e go fit your yellow face Viv, mumu, see as she dey laugh” I joked. We caught up on the old gist and Bola gave the ratings of her hostel tour. (All I can say is I no sha carry last)

Funny how fast second semesters always run. Was it not yesterday I was shouting at Bola’s house? Lecture free weeks and I started my exam period jacking-No BIS, photocopying of all handout, completing my notes, reading and reading again. GP gats swell this session o. The good thing about times like this is that the whole school has something to read. Everybody minds his or her business with his/her book.  So exam came and went like that (you don’t want to be bored with the details). You can trust your girl, to do my best and copy the rest. *If you shake your head ehn, before you start to form holier than thou*

“Flowing gowns, purple or pink” Bola suggested.

“No o, little black dress nah” I argued

“That’s what we wore for the last one nah, have you forgotten?” Liz answered.

We were arguing about what to wear to the faculty dinner and award night. Bola said we’d rather wear free cloth so we could dance well. Her partner-in-crime concurred. Viv thought we should wear “and-co” like we were going for a funeral party.

“You know what, what if we wear like the same colours of different styles or different colours of the same style,” I suggested after about an hour of argument. We finally agreed to do either of them after about another hour of argument. Oh! I have not given y’all the low-down of the nominee list. We are nominated for three awards, Best female clique of the year amongst, Queen Bees, Ivy League, Beisy Hoffs, Correct babes (whoever those are). The other nominations aren’t exactly “we” as in “us. They are Bola for most sophisticated female and Viv for model of the year. Anyway na we we we all be (that part better said than read).

At about 10:00pm on the D-day, we set out for the dinner, no crime in being fashionably late since it was going to be an all-night affair. There in the front seat I set die in my ash-coloured ass-tight, lap-revealing, cleavage-covering short dress (at least if you look fresh lap, you go forget face nah). Bola was looking stunning behind the wheel, her silver necklace sitting well on her cleavage slightly below her purple dress, fully concentrating on the road with an “Angelina Jolie in Salt” look and just like every dinner and awards night we attended, it was only the two of us. Viv was off with her boyfriend, Dan while Liz was not with her boyfriend this time, she was going with one Debo guy who she met like a minute ago since her boyfriend was on IT, she had asked her boyfriend and he agreed. He is the carefree type, Birds of a feather.

P.S: I am a writer although I might not be able to tell my story adeptly but I can do that completely and truthfully.

14 thoughts on “#loaug – Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl Episode 5” by mobolaji oluwabi (@embIjay)

  1. I love the ‘freestyling’ method used in writing this. Minor edits needed here and there but it is a cool read tho…

    1. mobolaji oluwabi (@embIjay)

      I notiiced too and I am amazed how I left them out. ApologIes @hymar.
      Would look more closely in coming episodes!

  2. Still Going Strong. But please try to re-read and correct the glaring typos.

    1. mobolaji oluwabi (@embIjay)

      Glad you commented @myne , although I would have prefered a more wholesome anaylsis! Btw. Where is @afronuts

      1. @embIjay
        lol…And why did you ask for me? Because I too like to analyse? Hahaha…

        Breezing through the series I see something akin to Naija soaps that showcase life among female undergraduates and their day to day lives.

        From all I’ve read through the series, its just a collection on day to day adventures…there’s no particular issue that require a resolution so the series is not a continuous linear plot. Its more like a diary of documented everyday happenings.

        And since its just a collection of day to day happenstances, there’s no nucleus for a centralized theme. (I’m always checking out stuff like that but its understandable that yours is more like a memoir than a linear story).

        I know many ladies will enjoy the series because they can relate, but be mindful of the theme or subject matter issue, a total lack of it could turn your series into a boring one.

  3. bunmiril (@bunmiril)

    Still enjoying this.
    But please take time to edit.

    1. mobolaji oluwabi (@embIjay)

      Thanks a lot @bumniril for being a regular here. Really apprec8

  4. Mistakes here and there..thos was kinda short tho..

    Nice one

    1. mobolaji oluwabi (@embIjay)

      The next episodes Would be better. Thanks for commenting too!

  5. Good going, @embijay, although I echo @schatzilein – it did feel short. Also, the paragraph with the second semester running fast felt out of place in a story that was about girls about to have fun.

    1. mobolaji oluwabi (@embIjay)

      Great to know that I av ur attention out here! Thanks a lot,@tolao

  6. Nalongo (@Nalongo)

    I like the flow.

    1. mobolaji oluwabi (@embIjay)

      @nalongo , thanks as alWays!!!

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