Guilty pleasure

He jumped off the diving board into the swimming, pool and propelled himself like a fish with the speed of a flyingboat to the other end of the twenty meter long pool. swimming is one the things he knows how to do best and is ranked first in the list of his hobbies, except maybe when asked to choose between swimming and Mrs yinka his sagged facial lover who is old enough to be his mother; This is the third time he’s been coming to this hotel alongside the woman as it provide them with the secrecy they needed to enjoy their escaped in the absence of her husband and children

He performed a backstroke skill to the middle of the pool, and like a piece of paper suspend himself in a floating manner, enjoying the attention he’s getting with this wonderful performance which lasted not more than two minute, before his sweet sugar mummy appeared from the hotel cafe with two cup of coffee, wearing bum shot and a bra that that did a wonderful transformation to her forty two year old breast; she twisted her head from the left to the right hand side ,to wade off the long fixed Brazilian hair which covered half her face and cat walked towards the pool to meet and enjoyed the mid-morning atmosphere with her baby lover.

Her stunning presence forced him to give up whatever it is he was doing inside the pool, quickly came out of the water ,wrapped a towel around his waist to cover his oversize manhood that often set the adrenaline of every woman rushing like a broken tap, after a little public display of affection he grabbed the other cup of coffee ,wrapped his hand around her waist whispering and laughing as they walk back toward the magnificent building of the five star hotel, back to their room to make the most of the day.

Liz was one of those people almost everybody liked probably because she liked everybody or perhaps she always seems to be happy and thought of others before herself, married for almost twenty years now, Lizzy as she was Fondly called and air commodore yinka appeared to have everything, a very beautiful house in the Abuja metropolis, healthy lovely children and a marriage that one cannot help but envy, The tall, dark and slim beautiful mother of three, judging by what is left of her beauty now at the age of forty two ,seems to have everything going on very well with her; after being crown the most beautiful girl in Abuja at the age of eighteen, followed by an appointment as the ambassador of peace which have seen her risen higher than all her peers , with various national and international awards.

Liz was living quite a dream until when she meet her beloved husband at one of the conventions she was attending in Lagos state, it wasn’t love at first sight because she has meet quite a lot of handsome young men, but there was something special about this fellow that got her thinking twice about making a commitment at the peak of her career. to be continue

14 thoughts on “Guilty pleasure” by manuel olivia (@oliveG)

  1. You need to check your tensing. Also, your sentences are too long. They run into whole paragraphs which is not good at all.

    The whole work needs to be edited. Everyone starts from somewhere and it’s always best to leave your work and read it with fresh eyes severally before sending it out. The story was not well presented at all.

  2. Nalongo (@Nalongo)

    Please re edit.

  3. I wish you’d work more on your tenses and pluralization. Thank you.

  4. Delete this one. Dont write anything again for a whole year, just be reading.

    1. Dominic Ohai (@DominicOhai)

      Loool! Oga have mercy

  5. I think there is a good story line here. You just have to work on your writing.

  6. Dominic Ohai (@DominicOhai)

    You have to properly edit works before putting them up for display. Keep writing, I believe you can improve

  7. This has potential to be a good story but you need to work on the punctuation and make some sentences shorter. Don’t listen to @kaycee, he likes to bully newcomers… :-)

  8. Too many tense errors….it killed the joy of reading the story…

  9. Ah…well, this story has the makings of a good one . True there are a few errors (well, maybe not a FEW) but I believe if you can just settle down to write it properly, it’ll come out pretty good. I’ll like to believe this is a rushed work. But you need more practice (don’t we all?) and as a pointer, I’ll suggest you pay a LOT of attention to your tenses, and syntax. And for your sentences, shorter is always better…keeps you from running into trouble. Also take your time to write. Don’t rush through the story.

    Hope you take all this in good stride. I bet you’ll make a fine writer! :)

  10. OMG… did you even re-read this? Too many errors to be counted. You need to read more to know what is good English.

  11. Ajenifuja Adetokunbo (@Ajenifuja-Adetokunbo)

    They have said it all. I can sense the potential of being a good writer in you…. Your imagery are so sweet. But the quality of presentation killed the piece. You need to read more. Online writing guide will be of help. We have many.

    Good luck. I wish to read more of you and I hope there will be an improvement.

  12. Umm we all start somewhere. Keep at it bro

  13. manuel olivia (@oliveG)

    I want to thank you all for your advice,it really gives me a sense of belonging here. Knwowing fully well that you all got my back is something I will never forget and my promise to all of you is that I will come back stronger and better. @kaycee I really apprecaite your advice unfortunately I’m not easily intimated,but all the same thank you all.

Leave a Reply