For a couple of days now, I’ve been curiously wondering how it would be like if I had been made in a different sex or perhaps had the opportunity of a sex change, how different I may or may not have turned out and this is perhaps a product of my ponderings.
If I were a woman
My heart wants to know
How would I have been?
Would I have been a beautiful damsel,
With men drooling at the sights of me,
Or would I have been unattractive,
With no one but myself admiring?
Would I have been smart,
With the whole world wondering
Where the beauty and brains emanated
Or would I have been so dull,
That all would ridicule my beauty without brains?
Would I cringe at the thought of my monthlies,
Wondering how I would concentrate,
In the face of rushing blood,
Or I would look forward to another time,
To feel my womanhood again.
How would my first love be like,
Would he cause butterflies in my tummy,
Leaving me to nurse a crush without him acting
Or confront me with his thoughts,
Giving me room to pretend as though,
He never really mattered
Would I look forward to my wedding night,
Or avoid every thought of it,
Having lived in recklessness,
In my days of youthful exuberance
Would I make a good wife,
Caring for my loved one, with all my heart,
Regardless of his financial or social standing,
Or a wife whose care depended solely
On the state of things per time?
Would my belly burst with twins
Or all it would contain would be one per time.
Would I endure the period of barrenness that I may have,
Living like Sarah and Hannah,
Yet still giving glory to God,
Or would I wonder why on earth
I was made to go through all this
Would I make a good mother,
With my children cherishing every of our moments
Or a terrible and careless mother,
Bringing down the very fabric of my home,
With my own hands?
Would I Love God,
With all of my heart,
Doing everything possible,
To be at peace with him,
Or would I love the World,
Much more than I did love God,
With my idols being my Blackberrys, iPads, Men and money
Beyond it all,
Would I die Empty,
Having poured all I had into humanity,
Having a place in heaven,
Making the roads with other great women,
Who gave their all for their God, Families and Generations
Singing Hallelujahs in ceaseless wonders
Or would I make the longer journey,
Through the tortuous pits of hell,
Descending into its pains
And regretting the wasted years behind.
All this, my curious heart wants to know