For a couple of days now, I’ve been curiously wondering how it would be like if I had been made in a different sex or perhaps had the opportunity of a sex change, how different I may or may not have turned out and this is perhaps a product of my ponderings.

 

If I were a woman

My heart wants to know

How would I have been?

 

Would I have been a beautiful damsel,

With men drooling at the sights of me,

Or would I have been unattractive,

With no one but myself admiring?

 

Would I have been smart,

With the whole world wondering

Where the beauty and brains emanated

Or would I have been so dull,

That all would ridicule my beauty without brains?

 

Would I cringe at the thought of my monthlies,

Wondering how I would concentrate,

In the face of rushing blood,

Or I would look forward to another time,

To feel my womanhood again.

 

How would my first love be like,

Would he cause butterflies in my tummy,

Leaving me to nurse a crush without him acting

Or confront me with his thoughts,

Giving me room to pretend as though,

He never really mattered

 

Would I look forward to my wedding night,

Or avoid every thought of it,

Having lived in recklessness,

In my days of youthful exuberance

 

Would I make a good wife,

Caring for my loved one, with all my heart,

Regardless of his financial or social standing,

Or a wife whose care depended solely

On the state of things per time?

 

Would my belly burst with twins

Or all it would contain would be one per time.

Would I endure the period of barrenness that I may have,

Living like Sarah and Hannah,

Yet still giving glory to God,

Or would I wonder why on earth

I was made to go through all this

 

Would I make a good mother,

With my children cherishing every of our moments

Or a terrible and careless mother,

Bringing down the very fabric of my home,

With my own hands?

 

Would I Love God,

With all of my heart,

Doing everything possible,

To be at peace with him,

Or would I love the World,

Much more than I did love God,

With my idols being my Blackberrys, iPads, Men and money

 

Beyond it all,

Would I die Empty,

Having poured all I had into humanity,

Having a place in heaven,

Making the roads with other great women,

Who gave their all for their God, Families and Generations

Singing Hallelujahs in ceaseless wonders

 

Or would I make the longer journey,

Through the tortuous pits of hell,

Descending into its pains

And regretting the wasted years behind.

 

All this, my curious heart wants to know