Diary of a Rogue Priest: Epiphany

The Christmas is over. All the hullabaloo of festivities, thank goodness, has petered out. Now, let’s face the New Year (which I think it’s already too old to be called that).

I conducted the Epiphany Mass at the parish. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I had an epiphany myself.

Some (un)wise men garbed like the magi appeared to me in dream and told me something that made me come up with New Year resolutions. Well, no man calls them that. It’s a women’s thing. Men make decisions, not resolutions.

The magi in my dream told me that I should get closer to God. All men do that. Secular men I mean. So now the three idiots thought that I am too close to God yet so far away. They even called me a fallen seraph who never fell. Seriously?

So, here are my resolutions. One, get farther from God by doing that which His vocation has denied me. Men and women who don’t know what being a priest is are saying that they want to meet, mingle and marry. I want to meet, mingle and moonlight as a fuck buddy for hire.

January blues, as they are called in the world of bankruptcy, are setting in real fast. People splurged all their savings over the festivities and now school fees, rent and other obligations are staring at them wide eyed. All I can do is pray for them. After all part of it they brought it to church. They were feeling very generous. Now they are paying for their sins of commission.

Even though Christians still offer offertory on Sundays, it’s paltry for one who gallivants the city like me. I am feeling the weight already. But resolution number two is to be financially stable this year.

I hope I won’t toss these resolutions out the window by March. That’s what many people do. Never mind, I count myself among the lucky few, like we say in our circles, “Many are called, but few are chosen.”

Now, my epiphany was about secular life. It is fun. I mean, I curse this senseless head of mine every day for the mistake I made when I became a priest. Isn’t it fun to sample God’s beautiful creatures out there, the lot who look like Eve of Adam, have fun and pleasures known only to flesh and kick them out the door when they start to nag? Well, that’s my resolution number three.

For the record, I have only three resolutions. I believe in the Holy Trinity. Why be heretic?

Such things are denied to me by vocation, but isn’t Pope Francis saying that the Catholic Church doors are open even for the homosexuals? I am much better than many sinners. You may call me a Pharisee, but who gave you the moral authority to judge others.

Somebody told me that you only live once, and life isn’t a rehearsal. That’s why I am doing this.

I am going to rave to the grave!!!

Copyright ©Vincent de Paul, 2014


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12 thoughts on “Diary of a Rogue Priest: Epiphany” by Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

  1. Nalongo (@Nalongo)

    You can opt out of the vocation.

    1. Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

      It’s not that easy…. Just wait and see.

  2. @Nalongo, exactly my thoughts. No one forced you to take the vows…the door is always open…nice read

    1. Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

      @uzywhyte, there was no way out of it… it was either the priesthood or nothing.

      Thanks for reading.

  3. Good priests and bad ones…. it’s the norm

  4. Well…this is quite sad. The priest needs prayers

    1. Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

      They sure do.

  5. This roguish priest with his trinity resolution. I fear fear Mr priest.

  6. Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

    @newnaija, I’m beginning to like you. Thanks so much

    1. Thanks boss, I like your Style and manner of presentation, short sharp and concise.

  7. Omena (@menoveg)

    Ths is interesting….more like an isight into a world of priests?

  8. Vincent de Paul (@vincentdepaul)

    Yes it is, @menoveg, an insight…. just b around long enough

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