“Ye-eh!” My voice breaks out.
“Oponu oshi” ( idiotic fellow) Titi says as she springs to her feet, jumping into her pyjamas, “you think you are wise abi.” She says as she opens the door that leads to the sitting-room.
I feel very weak as I grab where she has plugged her teeth just above my nipples. My breaths run with pressure.
Her voice faints out from here. I can hear her mumble something inaudible; I am sure they are abusive words.
“Uncle, what is wrong?” An alarming voice comes from the doorway. It is my cousin, Lara. She is the last child of my Dad’s elder sister. She had come to stay with us since her school, MAPOLY, is not far from our place.
Lara switches the light on and moves close to me. I cunningly remove my hand from my chest and cover my body with the blanket.
“I heard your scream from my room. What is the matter? And where is sister Titilayo?”
Lara’s eyes divert to the wall clock and my eyes follow. The time is 2:45 a.m.
“Nothing, dear,” I manage a smile, “I was stung by a giant wasp … Titi just left the bed because she thought the wasp will also sting her.”
“Ah, ” Lara sighs, resting her palms on her chests, “I thought it’s something more than that … sorry, sir. Maybe you need to apply something on it. Should I get you an ointment to relieve you from the pain?”
“Oh, don’t bother yourself … I will get over it soon.”
Lara is on a pink pyjamas that, however, defines her well-shaped, chocolate brown figure. She is really a good-looking girl and that’s also applicable to her character.
“Okay, good night,” she says, waving her hand sleepily. She turns off the light as she makes her way out. The door creaks and closes gently.
This is not the same Titi I married two years ago … This is not the same lady that used to seduce me each time I felt tired to perform. She is the lady that knows how to stimulate me better than I do. So what is the matter with her now?
She started this naughty behaviour about thirteen months ago when I faced bankruptcy in my company at port Harcourt. I had to sell all my houses to recover my debt. I sold the remaining two cars I had to rent this two bedroom flat.
I inherited those properties from my late father. I started working as a driver for a hotel seven months ago – I would hunch behind the wheel from morning till nightfall with a hard labour of offloading the goods that are being conveyed. I’m not meant to do that, but the hotel manager said it’s part of my work. He said a tall, strong-looking man like me shouldn’t complain of double duties for the age I entered in my written application – I have aged thirty-five. I have to comply to his instruction if I don’t want to lose the job. I had been looking for work over five months before the driving job consoled me. My salary is thirty-five thousand naira, just like my age.
When I still had my own company, I wouldn’t wear myself out. I spent only four hours in the office, and my manager was competent enough to make sure everything was in order. Those times I noticed I could perform in bed for a longer period than now – ‘seven or eight rounds in bed no be play-play o’. She really respected me for that, and she would be the one to force me to action.
How on earth will that manager know that overworking is destroying my marriage?
The downfall of my libido is certainly the reason why Titi is behaving like this. Or what else could it be? The answer is obvious. It was two months ago I found out that my wife had bought a dildo. I found it by chance in her handbag. I guessed she forgot to keep it as soon as she arrived home from the shop. I didn’t tell her I found something like that … ever since then I realized I have become a loser to her – a dildo does my job better – isn’t?
I proposed to Titi when I was wealthy, and I made her a full housewife. She had promised never to leave me under no circumstances – Our love, she has always sworn to me, ‘for better for worse.’ Although she studied hotel management in the university, and also learnt hairdressing. I planned not to let her get attracted to any man outside, but now my plan for her has changed. I opened a small salon for her immediately my business went down the drain.
“With how much I love this girl,” I mumble, pointing towards the doorway,“ So she can deprive me of my right? I will not divorce you … I believe you will turn a new leaf someday. I can’t quit my job because I want to satisfy a woman. That’s impossible!”
I pull over the blanket and hug my pillow.
My ears start buzzing with a continuous cool music. I spring to life from my sleep. it’s still dark. I realize it’s from a phone … It’s an unfamiliar ring tone in the house (‘Thousand miles’ by Vanessa Carlton). Anyway, that must be Titi’s phone. I seize the opportunity to check the time on my own phone. 5: 07 am.
I can still feel a throb under me. Oh, this stubborn thing has not come down yet?
I still need a sleep. I do resume work by 6:15 am. My phone alarm would wake me by 5:45 am. My place of work is few miles away from here. I shift my body to the edge of the bed and grope through the small shelve where the ringtone is coming from. I decide to hit the red button to terminate the call or text message – I don’t care whichever. I can feel my fingers handling the phone, but it feels different. I take a better look with the light from my phone.
“A blackberry curve 3G – the latest one?” I mutter, surprised, “from Nokia C3 to this. Where could she have gotten the money.”
I decide to check the contact – it’s a text message. it goes like this:
“u need to come early 2day, dear. You knw that d one we did yesterday was not it.
I want u to give me dat beautiful style today. I can’t just av a gud sleep.
Just name how much you want, I will always give u any amount.
I just loved that of the day before yesterday.”
“What kind of message is this?” I whisper. I check the sender’s name. No name. Just a number?
So, Titi is now cheating on me. She has started sleeping with rich men for money. I read the message over and over again, my body grows hot, almost melting down.
I switch off the phone and hide it inside my old brief case. She will account for this.
I resume my sleep.
I am stirred from sleep again. It’s broad day light. 7: 05am from the wall clock!
What is wrong with my phone? Is the battery dead? I dip my hand beside the pillow for the phone. It’s no longer there. I search the entire bed. All around the tiled floor. I can’t find it.
I grab my towel from the hanger, and rush to the shower. I quickly brush my teeth. I am late for work for the first time. I will have to give an excuse to defend myself today. But who might have taken my phone? I really need to get it before leaving for work. I met an old friend yesterday while I was offloading crates of beers from the truck. He is Rotimi by name. He is one of those I had helped when time was good. He parked beside me the latest Honda accord. I hardly recognized him. He told me he had several oil companies, and many houses all across the state. He gave me his business card with an appointment to call him today. Thank God! I saved the number on my phone before I misplaced the card.
After dressing up, I head straight to the sitting-room. Titi is lying on the couch. I stand behind the couch, resting my hands on the edge. She adjusts her position at the moment. I guess she has noticed my presence.
“Did you find my phone?” I ask, but no response for almost one minute.
I repeat the question.
“When you give me back my phone, I’ll give you yours!” She says and let out a long hiss.
“Don’t worry!” I say with a pretentious pressure in my voice, “I am going for work. You caused my lateness this morning. isn’t? If you fail to hand me the phone at this moment, just keep it forever. I will also keep yours forever … You know I’m a man of my words. Bye for now.” I turn towards the door with a jerk in my movement.