O Africa, Now We are here.

This piece is Ronalds first work on N.S, I know it not a perfect work that while I posted it For your constructive critism. Thanks For your endulgence.

Now We are here.

We matched from the medival years.
Fought the war with Sungo.
Drank blood when it got lbloody.
And ate the flesh of raw beast.
Now its our past.

Green was the colour of our land.
Air fresh from flowing river mist.
Night was fearlessly funfilled with moonlight tales.
Crystal clear was the sky as it shone of pure blue.
Now its all dark.

Pinocchio brought darkness to our shores.
Parkaged in the leaves of a big book of laws.
Compelling us to venerate.
In exchange of our children For mare mirror.
How cheap We were sold.

Anger and fury flowed with the gods.
Sungo became the dragon unleashed.
Spitting hate on the foreheads of his beloved.
Igniting the flames that burn till date.
Africa where at thou.

Where at thou farm, so wild and healthy.
Where at thou yam, the barn are empty.
Where at thou children, full moon night are lonely.
Where at thou O gods, We need your blessing.
Africa so far you have sailed.

So far into the wild, your homes are empty.
So far into the oceans, your nostril now long.
So far into those books, your gods ate nothing.
So far with Pinocchio, your norms are dead.
O Africa, home longs For you.

When will I rejoice again, She cried.
When will the mat be full again beneath fullmoon.
When will my barn have yam in it.
When will my children come back to me.
Africans, home calls to you.

11 thoughts on “O Africa, Now We are here.” by Ronald Bellaz (@RonaldBellaz)

  1. Nur'ayn (new reign) (@newreign)

    Mr Roland, to be honest, you have more than a tonne of work to do. One cannot start to master English Literature when he hasn’t mastered English Grammer. Although, there is no one who has mastered (or can master) everything, but one can always strive to come as close to perfection as possible; and that is something you’re millions of miles from. Keep writing and always ensure that your present work is better than the previous one.

    1. Ronald Bellaz (@RonaldBellaz)

      Thanks Bro, but i would prefer if you point correction, just little if you have less time to go fully into it.

      Thanks for your comment. I would really appreciate direct correction.

  2. God will have to be the one to help you O
    So, have faith, read more.

    1. Ronald Bellaz (@RonaldBellaz)

      Tanks bro, for both your time, Prayer and advise.

      But i would have loved to know your take on the poem. How bad is it

  3. silvanus (@silvanus)

    @ronald…actually it was a good try…but there was no coherence in your work…i didn’t get who was speaking,if it was you,the lost africans or the lonly mother africa.

    1. Ronald Bellaz (@RonaldBellaz)

      Tanks, and i took your correction.
      I fink maybe the Coherence lies in the last line or every stanza.

      May be if you check you would see it. Anyways tanks for your time

  4. bunmiril (@bunmiril)

    Your intro before the poem started has errors.
    Then line 4.

    1. Ronald Bellaz (@RonaldBellaz)

      Sure i just figured that mistake now, ”is” omitted was and i wrote while in place of why ”that while” thank i gat that covered.

      Line four- Ate flesh of raw beast, do you suppose it to be what?

      Thanks for your correction, highly appreciated.

  5. @ronaldbellaz,

    As others have said, this needs a LOT of work. Wrong spelling, unclear meanings, they abound here. Try to think about how others will understand your work when you write.

    To show you what I mean, here’s my commentary on the first two stanzas:

    We matched from the medival years. (Did you mean ‘marched’ and mediaeval’? And it’s better to say ‘progressed’ or ‘advanced’ than ‘marched’ when talking about the passage of time.)
    Fought the war with Sungo. (Sango? And who fought the war with him – is he not African, too?)
    Drank blood when it got lbloody. (What does this mean? Are you painting a picture of prehistoric barbarity?)
    And ate the flesh of raw beast.
    Now its our past. (“it’s” or “it is”, not “its”)

    Green was the colour of our land. (Why the inversion – why not “The colour of our land was green” which is a lot clearer?)
    Air fresh from flowing river mist. (What does this mean? What is a “river mist”, and how come “air” is “from” from it?)
    Night was fearlessly funfilled with moonlight tales. (Why “fearlessly fun filled”? I think “joyously filled” or “playfully filled” would pass more of a sense of fun and delight.)
    Crystal clear was the sky as it shone of pure blue. (The sky doesn’t shine – the sun or moon do, though.)
    Now its all dark. (Again, “it is”, not “its”)

    Keep reading and writing.

    1. Ronald Bellaz (@RonaldBellaz)

      thanks thanks thanks.
      Tola, you really took time to do this correction.
      like a teacher that needs his students progress.
      though am not your responsibility but you spent your time doing this corrections.
      I would have to pick up my pen again.
      this time I would try to make my work more comprehensive.

      My apologies in the delay to reply your comment.

      You are so highly appreciated.

      Along side every other person that took their time to read and comment on my work.

      Thank you all.

  6. not so bad………..nice idea anyways

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