How fairing shall it be to these men’s ears
A curse, good news? That an unplucked Flower
So does breathes and shines in this time of ours;
‘Cause our eyes blind to the beauty she wears?
Or wise she was, the hurts of the world fear;
May stir her milk until it becomes sour,
Unpleasant and weary when comes the hour
As remains of asset hanging from tear?
But as sun on earth shines every season
Confirming its destined place on the orbit
So rare is your beauty among roses
Before men’s eyes like mine so eclipsing;
If you shall accord me of every bit
Then shall me of your pride full of praises

Rhyme scheme- abba abba cdecde

21 thoughts on “BEFORE MEN’S EYES LIKE MINE SO ECLIPSING (Petrarchan Sonnet)” by shomyk (@shomyk)

  1. It is a lovely poem.

    1. Thanks ma’am..

  2. Bibbie (@Bibbie)

    Poetry is one puzzle I’ve tried to solve in vain, I just find it very complicated. I’m not sure I understand the poem but the rhymes are really good.
    Every poet has a great talent. Well done!

  3. I understand you @bibbie, thesame feeling I get when I read some of Shakespeare’s sonnets or our own Soyinka’s poem. They all have a ‘subtle meaning’, just look deep.

    The speaker in the poem talks of the dignity, virginity and pride of a woman amidst civilization. He acknowledges this beauty and is full of praises for her.

    Thanks for taking your time to read it.

  4. Is it not Showunmi Michael? That guy is a BOSS!!! Felt like I was reading Shakespeare himself.

    I write sonnets too, but I don’t follow the rhyme scheme, just alternate rhymes. They’re nothing compared to this.

  5. It’s really a nice one…. for us newbies… we would need some tutor, hat up for u folk

  6. Nice poem but ‘flower’ and ‘ours’ do not rhyme in lines 2 and 3, in your ABBA rhyme scheme.

    Keep improving

  7. Shakespeare things, huh? Lol. It seems you even went back to a version of English that existed before Shakespearean times! :)

    It’s a nice poem. I took these lines with me:

    May stir her milk until it becomes sour,
    Unpleasant and weary when comes the hour

    Well done, my friend.

    *do inspect the rhymes for incidences of forced labour.

  8. It’s the Italian/Petrarchan sonnets sir @chemokopi. I will check for the rhymes as you’ve said. I have a pages for that.

    Thanks for the views

  9. Perhaps that’s the Shakespearean sonnet- abab cdcd efef gg. You write well too bro. Thanks @clemency

  10. @frankcof18, we improve together! Thanks bro

  11. @chime221 I’m very much glad you came to read this. However, ‘flower’ and ‘our’ do rhyme. You can verify online if still in doubt. Thanks brother!

    1. My dear, you did not write ‘flower’ and ‘our’. Rather, you wrote ‘flower’ and ‘ours’.

      Well done.

  12. This is Nice, Shomyk.

  13. Emmanuel (@Emmanuelpro)

    Well, I think it’s a good news and not a curse, if she has all these attributes you gave her. Also, I wonder who this “she” or unplucked flower really is?

    “Flower” and “ours” have the same rhyme (vowel sound) but I think “season” and “eclipsing” have different vowel and consonant sounds “siːzn” and “ɪklɪpsɪŋ”. Anyway, I dont mind…

    Nice poem…@shomyk

  14. You really tried with this. It is not easy to make sense in poetry when yhu are rhyming without the lines sounding forced or desperate or something. Well done.

  15. Thank you very much @emmanuelpro. I will check that up again.

  16. @hymar you’re right boss. Thanks for reading.

  17. So with these, you have to follow a particular rhyme scheme…. ain’t that something. I really liked this poem. I don’t like using the word ‘lovely’, but I gotta say… was. Good job man.

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