This is Aba

This is Aba

This is Aba

The dreamed Japan of Africa

A dream turning nightmare

In the grabs of choking claws

Claws of politricks

They have throats of iron

 

This is Aba.

A city surviving on small generators;

The two stroke engines

That belch and fart out blackened smokes

And choke even the empty air

But nobody coughs

Cough and get quarantined

The engines raving cacophony

can deafens elephants’ ears

Yet they see and live on

As if with protective veils

‘cos signs will do

As long as darkness can’t swallow them

 

This is Aba

A city drowning in putrid murky water logs

That harbor giant tad poles

That seize the wheels of hefty trucks

Yet they fold their trousers

And waddle on like through red sea

Not minding the suffocating stench

Of the odoriferous toad ponds

That sleep in the day and growl when generators sleep

Where tranquility is a crime

And fresh air is divorced

But they breathe on with invisible oxygen masks

 

This is Aba

A city under siege

By roads with corrugated potted jaws

So cars desert the roads

And heads stick out from keke napepe

No social stratifications

And no seeking of escape

They crawl on the slow train of self sufficiency

With everything home made

Made in Aba

 

This is Aba

Where nights frown like stones

With faces of ojuju calabar

That cause convulsion on women and children

Most males turn dogs at night

Dogs eating dogs

Where women pray against night fall

Against the boots that shatter doors at night

Yet they sleep on and snore in crescendo

Like newborns

Oda eshi!

 

This is Aba 

where morning greets with rising smokes

smokes from flames of burning corpses

corpses of night marauders

corpses of daytime light fingers

corpses of hands that held daggers before

hands that slapped and snatched wallets

even legs that wore jagged boots

but they move unperturbed

no one sees the rising flames

not even the hands that rolled the tyres

the tyres that fueled the flame

not even the fingers that lit the match

all in the blackened  smoke

that choked the birds too

Evenvulture fear and desert the air

they now eat leaves like herbivores

 

 

 

 

To be continued….

 



14 thoughts on “This is Aba” by adams (@coshincozor)

  1. Very picturesque poem. However you should have divided it in verses. Well done.

    1. thanks for stopping by bro.

  2. Nice poem, and message…. but check on the use of italics and bold…. it’s a put down, it strains the eyes and it’s the height of editorial errors.

    1. well thank you for stopping by. however I don’t understand what it means for a write-up to be a “put down”. I was expecting analysis of wrong usages, wrong spellings and the language of the poem and not italics and bold blablabla. if that’s and error, I will flagrantly commit it again and again and again. no apologies bro.

  3. Jo (@josephoguche)

    This is Aba

    where morning greets with rising smokes

    smokes from flames of burning corpses

    This poem @coshincozor … this is where our leaders have left us …

    1. thanks bro

      1. Jo (@josephoguche)

        Welcome bro

  4. Vivid poem. Anyone who has been in Aba would readily see and applaud this work, cos this is Aba in verse…
    Well done, Adam. $ß.

    1. Thank you

  5. I think it is high time I left NS. People here don’t analyse and correct people any more. I remember me little improvement in writing prose came frome here. Now I write things and deliberately leave some error and no one spots them. Me too, I am guilty. I also stopped criticizing. Did I? Well whatever! I’ve got to move on. It was cool knowing you guys. Bye

    1. @coshincozor,

      The truth is that criticism is expensive. I personally give criticism as the mood takes me, but I don’t have the time to criticise in as much detail as I would like.

      Having said that, if I make a comment and you come back and ask me for more details, I will gladly provide them.

      As to your poem, you express very clearly the sentiment that Aba is a dirty, unpleasant place to live, and this clear expression is good. However, your usage of words needs improvement. In many places, it’s not clear what you are trying to say. For example (comments in brackets):

      “The engines raving cacophony

      can deafens elephants’ ears (you mean ‘deafen’, not deafens’. And you can only deafen an elephant, not its ear)

      Yet they see and live on (who is ‘they’? the engines? How do they ‘see’?)

      As if with protective veils (I’m confused here. Are you saying that the engines hide behind veils, and so they can go on making noise?)

      ‘cos signs will do (I don’t understand this. What is the relevance of signs to the engines?)

      As long as darkness can’t swallow them (Are you saying that the generators are stubborn, and they will continue to generate light to oppose the darkness? It’s not clear.)

      It might help if you wrote more simply without trying to use figurative language.

  6. What a description!
    One needn’t be in Aba to see and picture the scenes herein described, they are vivid and is obtainable in almost all parts of Nigeria.
    However, you might want to take into consideration what @TolaO have said above.

    Well done.

  7. I must say that NS is not and cannot serve as your proofreading point. You can pay an editor or seek the services of freelance proofreaders for a fee. We are not here to edit your works for you.

    Very important too: You have no right whatsoever to coax people into reading, or commenting on your works by duress or by appealing wantonly to their emotions.

    That said, if you are dissatisfied with NS, you can opt out peacefully without disrupting the peace of others. Such negative attitude can cause or lead new members into thinking that they have made the wrong choice by joining NS.
    You have no right to reach at a conclusion for others. Meanwhile, the new ones have the right to taste and see for themselves.

Leave a Reply