The Struggling Virgin

“Segun, for Christ’s sake, why are you being persistent about this?” Ronke threw up her hands in exasperation. “You of all people should know this is absolutely wrong, we can’t do this. I really love you but I can’t allow this.”

“See Ronke, I know we are supposed to abstain from pre-marital sex, I even talked about it in bible study two weeks ago,” Segun said, “but you need to understand I am a man, I have needs, I have urges. It’s becoming so strong and my love for you is not making it easy either.” He placed his hands in his pockets and turned to face her. He was clearly agitated.

“I have needs too, Segun, but these needs have to wait till marriage to be met, I love you too and—”

“Are you really sure about that?” Segun countered, “because if it is as strong as mine for you, you will understand me, we will be on the same pedestal.”

“God! Segun, I can’t believe you are saying this, and you know where we both stand in Christ, we are both—”

“Excos in fellowship and children of God, yes I know that, but I also know that fresh and hot blood flow through my veins.” He removed his hands from his pockets and grabbed the rails. “I think we need a break, Ronke, at least for us to cool off. I need to think about us.”

“A break? Till when? How?”

“I don’t know, I really need to settle some things. Look, I have to go now. I have SOC 411 by 7 AM tomorrow and Professor will not tolerate lateness, you know.”

“Can I call you tomorrow after class?”

“Did you hear what I said at all? A break means no contact, please,” he replied as he left her at the sports complex of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife.

Tears rolled down Ronke’s cheeks. She was so confused about it all, she didn’t even know if to call him back or just allow him be.

A break? What’s happening? Lord, what do I do now? I am so confused! I know what your word says yet my heart is hurting, my body aches for the one I love? I am on the verge of losing him.

She had been with Segun for the past two years and they had been so sure God was calling them to be together forever. Segun was the bible study secretary of their fellowship and she was the assistant choir director. When they started courting, it was with strong conviction in their hearts that God wanted them to be together, until when they started having sexual pressures.

She actually understood how he felt…ever since Segun had kissed her there at the sports complex, holding on had been difficult. Yet she knew it was sin to do so and had made up her mind never to do it again until marriage. What would she do now?

Lord, are you there? Are you listening to me? Is it ok for all these guys to leave just because I say no each time? I am in my final year Lord, if Segun puts an end to our relationship, won’t I fall into the category of sisters waiting for brothers to approach them after refusing those that came in their prime? I am so confused! Lord please help me. Please, please…


A month later, Ronke was walking along the sidewalk on her way to the faculty of Social Sciences, when she sighted Segun with a cute lady, his arms around her as they made their way to the amphitheater, barely three days after finally breaking up with her! That was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. She felt like someone just rubbed salt to her wounds.

She changed her direction back to the sports complex, a place of prayer and comfort for so many. She reached the Main Bowl and walked down to a far corner, and then burst out crying, Oh Segun, how could you? How could you?

She just couldn’t take it anymore. That would be the third guy that had left her because she refused to sleep with either of them. Of the three, Segun was the most promising—a child of God, handsome, had a sense of humour and was from a good home.

Lord, why is this happening to me? Why? I love you Lord but I love Segun too! Why did you allow him to leave me, why? If he, your child too, could want to sleep with me, isn’t it right to do so? We were going to get married! Lord I am so confused!

She began to cry profusely. Then she started to sing and to speak in tongues, because she just didn’t know what to pray about.

Twenty minutes later, she brought out a notepad, the special book she wrote the impressions of the Lord upon her heart in—one of the special ways through which God communicated with her. She took out a pen and began to write…

If you know how much I love you, Darling Daughter, your heart will not be this weary. If only you know what I planned for you before the foundations of the world, hence the commandments I laid down in the scripturesI wanted sex in a relaxed atmosphere for you, one with no shame, no desperation to please or to do difficult things to make him stay and not leave, and that can only happen in marriage- a place where he would have already made a commitment to stay with you before enjoying the pleasures of your body. That was why I said it is a sin against yourself, allowing him to take pleasures from you without the forever commitment to take care of your body, soul and spirit, through thick and thin.

It is so true, according to my word, that I love you so deeply that I call you my daughter. The enemy of your soul hates you so much, hence he has set things in place to weaken your mind and make you feel you need sex now, that you must have it nowpornography, sex adverts, TV series he polluted everywhere, so as to deprive you of your full blessing.

But I have given you an escape through my word you are only to think of things that are of virtue and praiseworthythe Bible, books, good films, and you know if they are good or not. Why don’t you focus on these things, your mind must not be blank at any point in time.

“I have a daughter like you who has saturated her library with books and films made by Christians. Though she is not free from temptation, she is well able to overcome because she recognised my place of escape for her and took it!

Aderonke, concerning the man you will marry, I have already settled you, wait for him, Beloved.

Ronke felt like the balm of Gilead had indeed been used to massage her wounded heart. She felt a peace she couldn’t explain even to herself. Thank you Jesus, she silently prayed.

She made up her mind right there, she was going to wait for that man that deserved her body, her waiting…


Three years later

Ronke stood at the left hand side of her groom, before the Lord, her pastor and all witnesses to say ‘I do’ with peace in her heart and gratitude to the Lord. The wait was indeed worth it, Toba deserved her body of all men she had met. He actually proved it, he was a God lover who poured the same love on her. He always said she was God’s daughter and so he had to take care of God’s possession! She couldn’t imagine how she would have felt now if she had allowed the other guys to sleep with her.

He deserved the gift tonight, all of me, she thought as the groom removed her veil in preparation for their first kiss……

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” 1st Cor. 6:18 KJV.

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things.” Phil. 4:8 KJV




41 thoughts on “The Struggling Virgin” by AdeyinkaOresanya (@AdeyinkaOresanya)

  1. there is much joy in waiting…nice piece.

    1. @Borry, yes there is so much joy in waiting…thanks!

  2. More reasns 2 kip kiping on, am blessd

    1. @Koolove, yes we just have to keep keeping on, thanks for reading!

  3. I love this. This is simply loaded, and sweet.

    1. @raptureisforme, thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

    1. @Nalongo, yes o! loud Amen…thanks for reading

  4. Take a straight A for this work.

    Wow, ordinarily I hate it when christian writers mess things up all in the name of writing a christian story, but you somehow delivered something neat, typo-free, intriguing, consistently read-worthy even when you digressed into a mini-sermon.

    You did good. Great actually. Bless God.

    1. Wow, I am humbled, Chief ‘whip’ @Hymar. *grinning* thank you, I’m encouraged.

  5. Chief ‘whip?’ tah, I dunno what u are talking about o *innocent face*

  6. @Hymar, *raising my eyebrows* LOL

  7. Good write son….
    It pays to wait till after marriage, but girls always abuse it. Most lie about being virgin.

  8. Good write son….
    It pays to wait till after marriage, but girls always abuse it. Most lie about being virgin but when the parcel is finally opened, it’s the man that is usually disappointed!

    1. @Chime221, son? ha ha ha, last time I checked I ticked female on my profile. Thanks for stopping by

  9. Everybody wants to marry a virgin, yet it’s the same guys that also want to have a taste before marriage.
    This piece was nice and straight.
    One Word: DEEP.

    1. @louis, hmmm.thank you very much

  10. Really nice. Although it’s somewhat like a Mount Zion movie.with the 3years later etc… I still think it’s a great piece. Love the message


    1. @Mimiadebayo, thank you very much!

  11. Lols, @Mimiadebayo, very funny comment. I remember the mount zion thangs I watched as a child, The Ultimate Power series.

    And hey brother @Chime221, what’s with the ‘son’ tags u call people? Na you born dem ba?


  13. Very nice. Great write-up, keep it up.

    1. @Judith85, thank you very much!

  14. glow (@anyieinstein)

    Good message. I hope it brings light to someone out there.

  15. @AdeyinkaOresanya, Great read, great flow to it too.
    This is something I would like to give to every young girl at our Youth Fellowship; with your permission that is.
    Great work and more power to you.

  16. Thank you. Yes please share with ladies in your fellowship and every other place. We all need the strength and encouragement we can get. Please, acknowledge the author, though *winks*

  17. @anyieinstein
    Amen.Thank you so much.

  18. Very Mount-Zionish: preachy and blatantly christian. Brilliant writing too. But…

    1. Can you possibly tell this story without it being preachy?
    2. Can this be a christian story with a very ‘worldly’ feel? Does she attempt a lotta stuff in her closet? How far did the guy go at pestering her? Did he go beyond kissing her, dipped his hand into her bra, skirt, maybe?
    3. Can you do without the 3-years later part? Feels so it-all-ends-well when in reality, it usually does not. There are hundreds of 40-something year old virgins in our churches o!

    If you can do all 3 above, trust me, this story will explode even beyond you. Be reminded that fellowship people are very human and most have deep ‘feelings’ and ‘secrets’ they cover up with religion. Writing a story that reaches out to these people would go a long way to helping them overcome temptations and myriads of sins.

    You write really well.

    Good job.


  19. And the title too; can it be unexpected? Say ‘An Aluta within’? Aluta is struggle, so?

  20. @banky, thanks for the contribution but I will like to let you know that there are rules to writing Christian fiction, they don’t ‘reach into their bra or pants’ but use sufficient words and imagery to subtly inform the reader about any sex scene or whatsoever without conjure up erotic images. The message is clear, that of a fresh girl caught between the dilemma to stick to her faith and to satisfy a guy, one that many readers have mailed to me that they identified with. About it being mount zoinish, well isn’t mount Zion a Christian film? Believe me, there are so many stories that very much ends well even if challenges continue to crop up, isn’t that why we need God and faith in his word and promises? Thanks once again

    1. Oh, really? Didnt know ‘Christian’ fiction had such rules. I’ve never been a rules person though, just trying to see how the story could be better.
      Wel done.

  21. Wow…i like the story…i like the writing…i like the message…it applies to both males and female…

    But, the 3 years after spoilt it for me…so many things could have been explored even within the context of a short story…

    All in all, it’s good

    Well done

  22. @topazo, being waiting for you and Bubblina, LOL.
    Yea I get what you said about the ‘three years later thing’. Biko, the piece was one of my earliest attempt at writing, I promise to improve daily. Thank you so much for encouraging me!

  23. Good piece, came in time. God knows I have my own *alutas* too

  24. @clemency Hmm, everyone has an ‘aluta within’, borrowing the word from sir @Banky. We really need to keep encouraging one another. Thanks for reading!

  25. Well said ma’am, you’re welcome.

  26. very encouraging piece.
    Well Done!

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